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Dr Gabor Maté | Authenticity Can Heal Trauma (Part 2)

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  • Жарияланды 2022 ж. 10 Қар.

Пікірлер • 487

  • Cecilia J
    Cecilia J 3 ай бұрын +393

    So powerful.. "giving up our own authenticity for the sake of attachment" = recipe for disconnection with ourselves.

    • dr.gbailey
      dr.gbailey 2 ай бұрын +1

      So powerful !

    • Grace Kelly
      Grace Kelly 2 ай бұрын +1

      Most people do

    • R P
      R P 2 ай бұрын +7

      Unfortunately, there is a converse element in this, too. Upon the threatened destruction of another relationship in her life, a woman I know said to her therapist, “I’m just being true to myself. What about ‘to thine own self be true’?” and her therapist responded, “Which self?” To this person, authenticity meant putting her worst inclinations forward because they were true and real rather than recognizing that internal consistency also demanded that she recognize the destructive nature of that “truth” in the relationships that she also wanted and needed just as much. When her life was all about herself and inward focus, she was miserable just as she was if she wasn’t sharing transparently and being seen honestly.

    • WHEREMY LIFEGO
      WHEREMY LIFEGO 2 ай бұрын +5

      Find death before death finds us ❤️🙌

  • afairshare
    afairshare 3 ай бұрын +203

    Authenticity in this society is seen as unprofessional and "problematic". It's infuriating and why I'm stepping away from the online world while I recalibrate myself and heal my trauma instead of subjecting and destroying myself for the projections of others who can't handle being honest with themselves and are intimidated by someone who is.

    • Noelle van den bosch
      Noelle van den bosch 9 күн бұрын

      preach, my friend!

    • C. J.
      C. J. 19 күн бұрын

      And what are YOU projecting with your assertion that THEY....blah blah blah?
      It is OK for you to pull away from a situation with out condemning the behavior of others. We must all find our OWN path, and your projection does nothing to help you discover your
      path.....imo. Good luck on the journey.

    • The Greatest Advice
      The Greatest Advice 20 күн бұрын

      I think it depends on the type of authenticity it is. If you choose to take over the work environment with a dominating personality, that could decrease efficiency and get you fired. Good businesses dont discriminate against authentic humble personalities, but those who distract enough to decrease efficiency. But there definitely are also people who push back really hard at others who are comfortable in their own skin. That is true.

  • Karla D
    Karla D 2 ай бұрын +112

    Nobody explains and understands childhood trauma as well as Dr. Mate. I’ve gone through therapy due to my childhood trauma, but it was fruitless. Dr. Mate made me feel like he understood me even when I’ve never met him. This resonates with me completely and now I understand why I have a hard time connecting with anyone in my life 😢

    • Esperanza Munoz
      Esperanza Munoz 4 сағат бұрын

      We have a lot in common. Years of therapy and self help books plus an AA in psycholog left out the part of the puzzle that eluded me. Now I understand so much. Thanks to the Dr. To bad I found him in my twilight years. Because my daughters are set in their undeveloped psychies wrong spelling I know. Word check no help.🤔 I have attempted to get them to understand about why we have such problems connecting. Its like we're strangers. It's sad but I do understand that I can't change their misunderstandings. They are all grown adults and they are in charge

    • Anthony Iacobucci
      Anthony Iacobucci 7 күн бұрын

      @Deniece Smith, Realtor Only if the repressed pain surfaces and is expressed fully. But I agree we need to nurture ourselves, but that includes allowing the deep grief and rage towards our parents to surface, exactly how we experienced it as children, or more so, the feelings we WEREN"T allowed to experience. Its not enough to just be good to yourself...it won't heal the brain and the pain.

    • Anthony Iacobucci
      Anthony Iacobucci 7 күн бұрын

      Understanding it won't heal it. You need to go through the pain. Relive and experience the buried pain. Psychedelic therapy, other somatic therapies.

  • Louise Sumrell
    Louise Sumrell 4 ай бұрын +365

    In childhood I had a 5 years older sister who was, and still is at 69, the "poster child" for female psychopathy.
    I was diagnosed, decades ago, with major depressive disorder, major anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. In 1998 a social security panel of physicians judged me to be "totally and permanently disabled, unemployable".
    Since then I've finally gotten sober and clean, (09/20/2018), and by practicing Zen Buddhism, a la Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn, and reading and watching Dr. Maté, I'm finally feeling much better and reasonably happy, consistently.
    Of course I'm 64 years old now 🙄, but it's fine.
    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called, 'the present'".😉🙏💖🙏

    • Rachel Byrum
      Rachel Byrum Күн бұрын

      You are exactly where you’re supposed to be in all aspects of life. Bless your heart ❤

    • Luis Apaza
      Luis Apaza 2 күн бұрын

      Dont worry, its understandable. I think of the errors of my past and me working on myself as "is in honour of the past". That helped me to being stable and more healthy
      Take care, Louise

    • She Berry
      She Berry 3 күн бұрын

      🙏🏽continue to break those chains love

    • Sandra Alegria
      Sandra Alegria 10 күн бұрын

      I hope I find my way to total release of sadness.All the time no matter how good my life is I dont feel happy . I have everything necessary to survive now, I just dont want to participate . Is happiness a fake ?

    • First Name
      First Name 29 күн бұрын +1

      Your an inspiration

  • books with chaimae📚كتب مع شيماء

    "we are the only species that create an environnement that is destructive to its own species" that was mindblowing and sadly true

    • S A
      S A 5 күн бұрын

      @Laurie I get what your saying. But like fear when you’ve gone through trauma and still have toxic family and everyday abuse of sort your body nervous system shuts downs into disease from high low cortisol levels of dealing be affected by these ppl. Your brain traumatized and fear sets in minute I went no contact. So yes my vibration is low but not everyone can just shut painful experience off.. just having them in your life your energy is depleted but somehow we’re suppose to magically heal how and accept them who they are be monks not get triggered by abusive ppl. Why does mind fear of letting go when you know it’s right thing to do? Why universe keep putting same people in our lives. I get it within we have to stop ppl pleasing stand up be firm but man do they mess up your mind with mind games abuse.. also what about ppl that have mental illness depression anxiety etc how can they change their condition frequency. Nicola power of 369. I’ve tried listening to joe, the secret law of attraction

    • Scott Congdon
      Scott Congdon 5 күн бұрын

      Be Careful. This is educated opinion. That's only part of the story. There's also differences in chemical make up that has an effect

    • S A
      S A 13 күн бұрын

      @connie cunningham exactly how though narcissist family abuse

    • FROSTAXCESS
      FROSTAXCESS 17 күн бұрын

      Humanity is cruel by nature and sadistic selfish egoistic torchure inflicting machines

    • Audrey Lin
      Audrey Lin 17 күн бұрын

      So how is wine made?

  • Mic Betancur
    Mic Betancur 4 ай бұрын +347

    what privilege to listen to this man. He talks human

    • Angela Mossucco
      Angela Mossucco 2 ай бұрын +4

      That’s a beautiful summarizing phrase: Dr. Mate’ *talks human*.

    • Foxy rollins
      Foxy rollins 3 ай бұрын +2

      Was a really awesome talk. He hit on so many points. The presenter was great as well.

    • Ezpiritu Libre
      Ezpiritu Libre 3 ай бұрын +6

      He's the 'human' whisperer.

    • Rachel Caldwell
      Rachel Caldwell 4 ай бұрын +9

      Gabor Maté is an amazingly knowledgeable man that has been an absolute blessing to my life.

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын +4

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

  • Aqua Rius
    Aqua Rius 4 ай бұрын +166

    Probably one of the most authentic and worthwhile self-help author out there. Worth getting his whole collection of books.

    • Yvette Marshall
      Yvette Marshall 4 ай бұрын +10

      He’s very brave and authentic, been following him for a long time. Teacher who is still a student. The best kind! 👏🏽

  • Science Not Stigma
    Science Not Stigma 4 ай бұрын +151

    This is why accepting and embracing people with addictions works better than judging, excluding them from society, and punishing them. People can be authentic when they feel safe and accepted. People only lie when they know they’ll be judged or punished for telling the truth.

    • Abraham Narvaez Yngar de la Vega
      Abraham Narvaez Yngar de la Vega 2 ай бұрын +1

      I was once addicted to marijuana and the rejection from other people is real, maybe not everyone but in my case even my father got to a point that he wanted my out of his life

    • Mary Chifulio
      Mary Chifulio 2 ай бұрын

      @Yagrum Bagarn you are probably correct. I don’t remember what I said but yesterday I felt differently about some things. Ty for your comment

    • Yagrum Bagarn
      Yagrum Bagarn 2 ай бұрын

      @Mary Chifulio setting boundaries? Even with that, your life will be a constant fight. Nobody wants to live like that. Don't be foolish.

    • Yagrum Bagarn
      Yagrum Bagarn 2 ай бұрын

      @Lorelle Speck and alot more drink just for the sake of drinking

    • Jason Mazzulla
      Jason Mazzulla 2 ай бұрын +1

      thats right.

  • carmenl163
    carmenl163 3 ай бұрын +85

    He mentions: "the body keeps the score" from Bessel van der Kolk 5:10. That book was the first book that understood me and all my problems. Thank you for mentioning that, Gabor Maté. You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.

    • carmenl163
      carmenl163 9 күн бұрын

      @Remote Faith I can see your point. The book doesn't offer any hands on solutions or methods to help overcome the trauma. But for me, that wasn't what I was looking for. I loved the understanding and recognition of my feelings. It was the first time I read this. And of course, it is a classic now. Many new books have evolved in this area.

    • Remote Faith
      Remote Faith 9 күн бұрын

      It’s a disappointing book that is not what people make it out to be at all. An interesting read but didn’t help me much

    • Sarah Al-taay
      Sarah Al-taay 29 күн бұрын

      Thank you 🙏🏻 i hope so too

    • carmenl163
      carmenl163 29 күн бұрын

      @Sarah Al-taay I hope it helps you in any way possible!

    • Sarah Al-taay
      Sarah Al-taay 29 күн бұрын +1

      I just bought it

  • ElNo's World
    ElNo's World 3 ай бұрын +34

    He is truly magnificent, and if it wasn’t for all the things that he put himself through as a child, after having certain experiences and his perception of those experiences, we would not have the knowledge or wisdom that he came here to share with all of us to help us through our darkest times, and help us to embrace our own light
    I just wanna say thank you from the depths of my heart

  • Kristien
    Kristien 2 ай бұрын +13

    Letting your children being authentic is one of the greatest gifts you can do as a parent. And it is very easy to do because authenticity feeds itself for life.

  • Johanna Fernandez
    Johanna Fernandez 4 ай бұрын +55

    This man has so much humanity that we all need.

    • dr.gbailey
      dr.gbailey 2 ай бұрын +3

      Humanity, authenticity, and care. He really cares! He know what we really need to heal. Such an inspiring man. All therapists should learn from him.

    • Chris Hartstein
      Chris Hartstein 3 ай бұрын +1

      @carmenl163 Yes, a big thumbs up to Byron Katie. I have a 'should' story in my head about Brene Brown. I can't get past that she is an academic researcher who studies shame, emotions and culture and she has not ever referenced Marshall Rosenberg or NVC to my knowledge. If you can help me see my way past this, I would be grateful. 🙂

    • carmenl163
      carmenl163 3 ай бұрын +2

      @Chris Hartstein I would support him getting the Nobel peace prize as well! There are some fantastic teachers out there who are not recognized enough, I think. They are teaching us inner peace, which is the best way to outer peace. Byron Katie and Breneé Brown are candidates, too, in my view.

    • Chris Hartstein
      Chris Hartstein 3 ай бұрын +1

      ​@carmenl163 That’s interesting. I’ve always thought that Marshall Rosenberg would get the Nobel Prize for studying peaceful cultures and developing Nonviolent Communication (which addresses that practical applications of Gabor’s work). He hasn’t yet. 🤔

    • carmenl163
      carmenl163 3 ай бұрын +2

      He brings so much peace inside us and between us. I think he deserves the Nobel peace prize!

  • ana julia harrington
    ana julia harrington 4 ай бұрын +66

    I am very grateful for your kind words and understanding what trauma is and can do to the child and how much can affect her or his adult life. I find very difficult to express my emotions, feelings, anxiety, fear, depression, because of what I went through during my childhood, the rejection the abuse physical mentally emotionally and sexually. I did not understand any of this until I was an adult. I understand now that all of that was caused because of my childhood trauma. thank your for the support and help you other people.

    • Happyclassygirly
      Happyclassygirly 16 күн бұрын

      Sexual abuse is the most damaging of them all.. Please look in your community for a group support.. I find it easier when you’re surrounded by other women with whom we can share the same experiences and there you can open up and start talking without feeling ashamed

  • linda dickinson
    linda dickinson 4 ай бұрын +88

    Awwww Gabor you made me cry, you are so amazing. Thank you for being alive and giving so much to people who have trauma in their lives.

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын +1

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

  • suparna sarkar
    suparna sarkar 3 ай бұрын +22

    I got the book "The Myth of Normal" in hand...what an introspective piece it is.The more I am reading and listening him the more clarity I am getting of myself and the more I am drawn to listen him.Thanks a lot doctor.You are a blessing to us.

    • Anja Vlasblom
      Anja Vlasblom 3 ай бұрын +3

      Wow I have to wait for 2 days before the book is coming out in the Netherlands!!

  • Rona Frye
    Rona Frye 3 ай бұрын +14

    I am so glad I discovered this man recently. His wisdom speaks volumes to me!

  • Womyns Stuff
    Womyns Stuff 4 ай бұрын +50

    What a blessing and gift to humanity this wise person is! Thank you 🙏

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын +1

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

  • TN
    TN 22 күн бұрын +3

    I love this man, his language is universal, Pain. The more i understands it, the more i embrace myself.

  • Kasonda Leigh
    Kasonda Leigh 4 ай бұрын +19

    Wow!
    He describes my world really well.
    I’ve been trying to explain for years.
    BPD. Manic Depression. Similar disorders, Same BPD.

  • I-Love-CO Mountains
    I-Love-CO Mountains 4 ай бұрын +18

    This is so overwhelmingly enlightening for me. Cutting right through all of the noise and putting this experience into words. Thank you💚

  • Eve Chose Knowledge
    Eve Chose Knowledge  3 ай бұрын +9

    Brilliant, and authentic. “The brain is connected to the heart.” Filled with gratitude & grace for this enlightening moment. Indeed, “Ye shall know thy truth, and the truth shall make you free ,” (John 8:32)✨

  • Brenda Polar
    Brenda Polar Ай бұрын +2

    This wonderful gentleman saved my life! Thank you for your incredible work, Dr. Mate Thank you for just existing in this world!!

  • PBD
    PBD 3 ай бұрын +5

    I can totally relate to this. I've had tons of trauma in my lifetime - some very extreme. I totally believe that the trauma I experienced as a pre-verbal two-year-old is the one that has had the biggest effect on me. I love his work on addiction. I used to show his YT video: The Brain and Addiction to my clients. It very scientifically related the craving for substances to the human brain. It was a way of helping them to drop the "baggage," and begin the healing journey. He has helped so many people that he'll never even know...

  • Sandy Ellis
    Sandy Ellis 4 ай бұрын +31

    What good fortune we have to see and hear this wise, wise old man mentoring us ❤️ Beyond fabulous.

    • 💮Coaca bean💮
      💮Coaca bean💮 4 ай бұрын

      @Flynnzilla aye child ,trauma makes us unkind why Dr G mentioned we destructive species.smh

    • Sandy Ellis
      Sandy Ellis 4 ай бұрын

      @Flynnzilla lived a long time, learned a great deal. Accumulated knowledge, experience through the years. The word ‘old’ is not a criticism

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

    • Linda Kordich
      Linda Kordich 4 ай бұрын +1

      Old man?

    • Catherine Wilson
      Catherine Wilson 4 ай бұрын +7

      I don’t see him as THAT old!!!

  • R P
    R P 2 ай бұрын +4

    I would add that the authenticity is not only about being highly in-tune with our own unarticulated judgments, emotions, and presence in the moment, but also about being in-tune with others who are central to our lives as accurately as possible--working hard and taking some risks to achieve this. Assumptions are deadly, and we live in a time in which we are too easily replacing intensive effort to understand others with an adoption of this or that conviction that we hear repeated in social media, especially, about how someone "like that" _always_ thinks, feels, what motivates them, etc. Especially in the last ten years or so, I have witnessed an extraordinary level of strain in relationships, and broken relationships, that have been based as much on assumptions and a lack of authentic, effective communication--including an unwillingness to challenge what seems wrong and fight for a relationship that really matters--as on anything that is definitively real.

  • Patisa Nombakuse
    Patisa Nombakuse 18 күн бұрын +1

    If you are not known you will feel alone.. I know this, amazing author, authenticity is powerful

  • Primla Williamson-Munroe
    Primla Williamson-Munroe 4 ай бұрын +36

    Super power unlocked: Understanding the self! So much has become clear abs still there is so much left to explore. I am changed. Thank you, Dr. Mate!

    • Another Theory
      Another Theory 4 ай бұрын +4

      Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation.

      While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.

      Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.

      It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

    • Primla Williamson-Munroe
      Primla Williamson-Munroe 4 ай бұрын

      @Rachel Caldwell you are an inspiration. Dr. Maté's work is groundbreaking. I am just beginning my journey back to self, so hearing your healing journey is definitely inspirational.

    • Rachel Caldwell
      Rachel Caldwell 4 ай бұрын +6

      He has helped me heal in so many ways. This fabulous man helped me look internally to heal as I always looked externally only to cause more harm to my whole being.....Then I was shown his work and I believed all he said. I had more than 1 childhood traumatic experiences that made me shut down and not express my feelings and emotions. This brought me to be a long-term addict that has crone's disease diagnosed when I was 24. I kept doing harder drugs to not FEEL the pain of this disease also to push it down as that had been my coping mechanism. In 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis n told I'd be in a wheelchair in 6months. It took me out, my whole left side not functioning properly at all. I had been studying to be a therapist for 3.5yrs before I got MS. Because of the knowledge I had learnt I knew I had tools to get in control of my dis-eases UNEASE IN MYSELF so I used these tools to enhance my self-belief and self-reliance. After 8months of letting my conditions debilitate me I rose above them and took back the control of my mind body and soul allowing my spirit to help me function again as best as I could, just differently from the ways I knew which allowed me to live a life of new experiences and hope. This is when I was shown Gabor Matēs completely ' out of the norm' information and I live by this man's informative knowledgeable insights and researched hands on experience. It's now 2022 & I am slowly yet surely healing from the inside out leading me to believe I will never be in a wheelchair but I will be helping others to rise above their dis-eases with the power of positive thinking & making sure movement is key in their everyday life. NAMASTE GABOR MATÉ 🙏♥️💓

  • Yoga Nature
    Yoga Nature 4 ай бұрын +33

    Trauma is “a thing”
    Healing is acceptable 😌
    Conflicts can collapse 🤓
    Insight is love is wisdom
    Allow ease
    Recall love
    🙋‍♀️Love you self ❤️ from self 🥰 - a self medication e-poem

  • Stephanie Fortney
    Stephanie Fortney 2 ай бұрын +4

    Dr Gabor is such a Gift to all….his work is filled compassion, knowledge and truth, giving clarity into our behaviors and minds, is priceless… The insight and understanding to deceases that many have had to suffer with…. And there is no judgment nor blame at all …..
    This line was Great in this interview….Not to be known is to feel Alone…. How we learn to talk before we talk and how our brain absorbs what we obverse, how our triggers are only the match to the underlying trauma and pain we carry inside the stuff people don’t want to discuss….Dr Gabor’s work and dedication is giving Hope and life to many. I believe everyone suffers from some form of an emotional gap, their no perfect…thank you Dr Gabor your work is a Beautiful Gift of Hope in this journey of a life….Grateful 🙏

  • Hil Pei
    Hil Pei Ай бұрын +1

    Thank you. I'm inspired by the growing awareness of this work. Our species needs to embrace it and, with some hope, will evolve toward a more compassionate culture.

  • Mira Filipovic
    Mira Filipovic 3 ай бұрын +1

    Thank you soooo much dr. Mate; it finally explained to me my own early childhood trauma similar to yours!

  • Kimber Knutson
    Kimber Knutson 4 ай бұрын +8

    Absolutely brilliant. I have admired this man and his work for a long time as well as that of Dr. Van der Kolk, but this was especially amazing in ways that I need to consider before attempting to put words on it. Thank you. I liked and subscribed. : )

    • Kimber Knutson
      Kimber Knutson 3 ай бұрын +1

      @Nastia Agreed. Trauma as a field of interest and study is relatively new and long overdue. Van der Kolk's book was/has been? on the NYT Best Seller list for a long time with good reason. According to my therapist, his idea that the effects of trauma can and do reside in the body at the cellular level separate and apart from the mind, that "voice in the head," was truly groundbreaking. She says that the psychological community is still coming to terms with that reality. Conventional Freudian "talk therapy" not only has limited healing potential here, it can actually be downright damaging and dangerous, which is why there are currently so many alternative ways of healing trauma being developed and implemented. Whatever a person does to survive the initial trauma, such as denial, resistance, repression, sublimation, projection, fantasy, etc. can easily get threatened by any kind of perceived intervention and "trigger" a survival response, which is automatic and unconscious. A traumatized body is effectively a machine concerned primarily with its own survival, which is "intelligent" albeit mechanical. A traumatized body and mind can and often do work against each because they have different concerns and ultimate agendas. While the mind might want to grow and expand and thrive and aspire to explore human potentialities, a traumatized body simply wants to survive at all costs. Since the body is working with the material it gathered from past negative experiences, it perceives any change from that which allowed it to survive back in the day as a threat and respond accordingly, which might include trying to prevent the mind from discovering and trying to address past trauma. Dr. Mate says that simply surviving is not really living, though. Dr. Van Der Kolk says that it is difficult to overcome a survival state if the "state becomes a trait," if the survival state becomes a personality trait. My favorite idea from him is his definition of trauma. He says that "trauma is the inability to inhabit one's body without being possessed by its defenses." That really captures it all, doesn't it? Enjoy the reading. Good stuff. Both of these men are open about their own past trauma, which drove them to do the work that they do and makes said work all the more meaningful. That is good news for the rest of us who similarly survived childhood trauma and sincerely want to "live" beyond mere survival. Good luck, and take care. : )

    • Nastia
      Nastia 3 ай бұрын +2

      Yep got Van der kolks book and im getting Gabors books as well these men are worth gold :O

  • karen Rogers
    karen Rogers 17 күн бұрын +2

    Childhood trauma is so So damaging My Parents should Have never had Children ,Even as a 60yr old woman I still carry this and have dealt with it so many times But it returns ,My coping strategies are to Block It like it never happened Fight or Flight is easier to cope with than constantly reliving it in My sleep

  • Synel PT
    Synel PT 2 ай бұрын +2

    I wish I could have learned about this doctor before. I have been waiting for my two kids to learn how to talk to then teach them my native language and none of them have learned it, my last child I began to speak my native language from birth and she is the only one who learned it. Makes total sense what he says.

  • Sam Glazier
    Sam Glazier 3 ай бұрын +7

    Prof. Groff spoke about how your memory of experience begins in the womb and the experience of birth is also remembered in our unconscious.
    Traumatic birth can lead a person to be anxious and in fight/flight mode as they grow up.
    Highly fascinating stuff and a whole rethink of how pregnancy, birth and the early years of a child are supported moving forward is sorely required.

    • sanek94cool
      sanek94cool 2 ай бұрын +3

      So my mom recently learned she probably had PTSD since a military conflict that happened almost 30 years ago. She was pregnant with me while living not too far from war. The experience for her was so traumatic her mind hid this from her until she started working this out with therapist just recently. It was very surprising. But this also led me to thinking this contributed to my anxiety as well even before I was born.

    • Sam Glazier
      Sam Glazier 3 ай бұрын +1

      @rabbitcreative wowzers. Love to you. Very interesting you were quiet. Please know babies also don’t cry at birth and when young if everything is calm, they feel loved and needs are met. Sometimes non neurotypical babies don’t cry. My nephew didn’t. He’s grown into a highly successful young man. I hope you are enjoying a happy and fulfilling life ❤️

    • rabbitcreative
      rabbitcreative 3 ай бұрын

      > the experience of birth
      I was conceived in rape. My mom said when I was born I didn't cry, and was quiet as a baby.

  • Insights
    Insights 16 күн бұрын +1

    Trauma is very much embedded in the body. I often have to surrender to my body screaming at me about the trauma that is still unresolved.

  • Guli Nasirova
    Guli Nasirova 29 күн бұрын +3

    I have to say: what an amazing interviewer 👏🏽

  • Margit Michel
    Margit Michel 4 ай бұрын +4

    I also loved the explanation about the brain's hemispheres. Explains so much 👍 He is brilliant!

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

  • A Quick Story
    A Quick Story 4 ай бұрын +87

    trauma is a spiritual wound....that medication cannot heal. Medication is for physical wounds. Trauma needs spiritual medication. The cause of trauma most often starts in a physical form: sound, touch, taste, smell, sight. The effect it then has on the inside is the trauma. Upon receiving the negative experiencing we begin to make meaning through stories that we believe to be true about ourselves.

    • S A
      S A 2 ай бұрын

      @A Quick Story so how do we heal it or stop replying trauma move on?

    • Munira El-Sabah
      Munira El-Sabah 2 ай бұрын +1

      So true! Having gone back home after 13 years of avoidance I really got triggered by certain smells!
      Unbelievable!! A particular smell of one wardrobe, smell of beeswax candles - just incredible.

    • Dr. Juliana Taylor
      Dr. Juliana Taylor 3 ай бұрын +2

      @S A by moving ahead - giving yourself your heart's desires and doing exactly what u want to do and saying exactly what u want to say- radical integrity...pushing thru the resistance that is holding you back and walk towards your dreams c an heal anything...faith is action and that will open your heart...otherwise talk is not walk and the heart. is not fooled. God Bless...

    • Kahlo Diego
      Kahlo Diego 3 ай бұрын +1

      I wish the mental health system knew that good mental health is about learning self care not about diagnosis and meds.

    • S A
      S A 4 ай бұрын +1

      I’ve had this trauma ptsd years now and being hsp even antidepressants don’t work yet I have all this pain trauma therapy nothing works.. I agree wow best answer ever.. being pulled back and forth from toxic family makes ur mind body literally shut down

  • Ruby Tuesday
    Ruby Tuesday 2 ай бұрын +4

    In my culture he is a medicine man 🪶🔥🦬a Healer.

  • Musopaul
    Musopaul Ай бұрын +1

    Brilliant! And, if you follow the implications of what he says, very courageous.

  • Jarka Chalmovianska
    Jarka Chalmovianska 4 ай бұрын +5

    Gabor is a gem❤

  • Ana Franklin
    Ana Franklin 18 күн бұрын

    Trauma is not what happens to you - it is what happens in your body/mind as a result of what happens to you. It is a reaction to what happened to you.

  • TheBiggestMoronYouKnow
    TheBiggestMoronYouKnow 25 күн бұрын +1

    exposing my weakness and pain scares away others but heals and strengthens my core

  • Angela Fosse
    Angela Fosse 4 ай бұрын +1

    Love Gabor Mate, he's so calming to listen to

  • Leonardo Nasir
    Leonardo Nasir 3 ай бұрын +6

    What to do if being your authentic self pisses off the people around you to the point that they seek to hurt you?

    • Leonardo Nasir
      Leonardo Nasir 2 ай бұрын +2

      @Christopher A That was my initial reaction too, but I realized that who's to say it won't happen there too? I think the answer is to find the strength to be my authentic self while doing my best to keep myself safe. Since most people aren't their authentic self, it makes sense that I'd meet resistance for being myself. It just comes with the territory. It's the price to pay.

    • Christopher A
      Christopher A 2 ай бұрын

      Then I hope you move to another place or country

  • Leticia Milo
    Leticia Milo 8 күн бұрын

    Thanks!❤⚘
    Powerful teachings!!

  • Super Sue
    Super Sue 2 ай бұрын +1

    Thank you for clearly and honestly stating what BPD and depression really are. I've never heard this so to the point: BPD trusting issues and easily hurt. Can't live relationships due to lack of trust. Simply pas experience in relationships when growing up. Depression, pressed down feelings which you weren't allowed to show. Very very simple. Thank you for yr brilliant work Dr. Mate. Brilliant. Because of you, I was able to provide a proper answer to my mother and older brother why I am the failure in the family despite having the same parents as my older brother. I was simply treated differently and my parents were not the same, note was their marriage, which took a severe hit when I was 9 months old. Thank you very much for yr work.

  • Afos Fos
    Afos Fos 4 ай бұрын +8

    As a parent I am traumatised by social media, all I hear about is childhood trauma and now I am terrified around my kids because I dont want to mess them up and Im sure Ive already messed them up so much.

    • Gezond naar honderd
      Gezond naar honderd 4 ай бұрын +4

      I'm convinced that you give your own issues to your children and therefore it's best if you are aware of what those issues are and try to work on yourself as best you can.
      If you can communicate openly and honestly with them they will know you are not perfect and that seeking help if you need it is oke.
      A friend of mine had horrible health issues from a young age but she did not suffer mentaly at all because her parents very quickly got her to a (good!) psychologist. The earlier you start the mental health journey the more you get to benefit from it.
      Also a little trauma does not immediately block anyones ability to have a happy and healthy life. I would not be too scared of it. This generation is just the generation that wants to work on the emotions and wants to be as mentally healthy as possible because we have the time, space and resources for it. If anything it's a really great thing that everyone is talking about it.

    • Joy Luxe Hiero Tarot with Rachael
      Joy Luxe Hiero Tarot with Rachael 4 ай бұрын +1

      You were chosen to parent your children because you are the exact person and experience they need to clear their karma and ascend to the next spiritual level. You cannot hurt them with your efforts at not hurting them. They need you, the real you, in all your perfect imperfection. You are a perfect parent exactly as you are! and you are doing God’s work simply by being your true self ❤️💖

    • Ed Gepixel
      Ed Gepixel 4 ай бұрын +11

      You will make mistakes because you are human. Please relax a bit. You obviously care deeply about your children. That is a very good starting point. Your wholehearted wellmeaning intention is the best gift you can give. You are fine. Stop seeking perfection. Just strive to do your best, and stop worrying about the rest; let the universe/divinity sort it out as it may.

  • gary caldwell
    gary caldwell Күн бұрын

    He is the best childhood trauma survivor 2yrs 6months sober and gave up gambling also always speak up about it dont bottle it up no matter the pain going through get honest with yourself saved my life he knows what he talking about

  • William Koscielniak
    William Koscielniak 17 күн бұрын +2

    That last line about having all sorts of logic and science but not having wisdom is of the utmost significants for both individuals and the human species. If we don't grow in wisdom, we are bound to destroy ourselves with the instruments that our so called logical minds have created.

  • Warren Bradford
    Warren Bradford 2 ай бұрын +3

    So, I will never heal if I keep focusing on getting into a relationship with other people. That is one of the reasons why I must live alone one day. So, I can achieve authenticity and begin healing properly. I need to watch more videos on how to be comfortable being alone.

  • coldstatic
    coldstatic 3 күн бұрын

    "If you are not known, you are going to feel alone, no matter how many people surround you."

  • subsub subsub
    subsub subsub 4 ай бұрын +10

    This man is a genius

    • j mc
      j mc 3 ай бұрын

      He’s simply highly educated, perceptive and cared enough to apply it help others. Dr Mate has also used the fact he’s just human like the rest of us to turn intelligence to wisdom.

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын +1

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

  • Joy B
    Joy B Ай бұрын +1

    This so related to adopted guys, alcoholics. Smack. But mostly I noticed it wasn't their lives that the trauma occured in but inherited in DNA. A lot commited suicide. Gabor is a Saint in our time. Bravely speaking the truth.

  • OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther
    OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther Ай бұрын +1

    Having been through addiction from trauma abuse neglect oppression and programming myself
    It pisses me off to watch others pass judgement on those struggling with things
    These are subconscious manifestations in these peoples lives from abuse most of them don't know or understand the full scope of what's being done and has been done to them
    It's sad sick statement on society

  • DTrak
    DTrak 18 күн бұрын +1

    It's awesome I have one boy and one girl at this point in time because I can get good tips from Gabor.

  • Livon Diramerian
    Livon Diramerian 3 ай бұрын +2

    All people go through trauma, some overcome their traumas to do good things, others succumb to their traumas to do bad things, such as violence, crimes, torture, hatred, wars, discrimination, jealousy, suicide, etc.

  • Question Everything
    Question Everything 4 ай бұрын +13

    Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation.

    While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.

    Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.

    It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......

    • Chaé P
      Chaé P 3 ай бұрын

      Omg! Literally amazing that I came across your comment! My sister & I had both lost our rights lungs to tb years back & it's so absolutely true what you said about "our territory" during that time.
      Your information & Knowledge is incredible!
      Even the healing phase you speak of...makes so much sense now!
      I had a feeling that it was more than just having tb but I never had the understanding like this, thank you so much.
      Do you have anymore knowledge or is there a resource that I can refer to perhaps that would be as accurate?
      Any information would be appreciated.

  • Greeley Miklashek
    Greeley Miklashek 3 ай бұрын +8

    Authenticity requires a shame free social environment, usually a support group in our "modern" built world, otherwise filled with stressors, fight-flight triggers. 12-step and psychotherapy groups can provide this "protection and care" we need to allow our ego defenses to diminish and for us to be entirely honest without fear of shame. The proof of concept? "Happy, joyous and free!" Great presentation, although Gabor never touches on the importance of spiritual experience, as Jung did. "Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit" (trans. called or not called, God is here)--on the plaque over Jung's home entrance. Stress R Us

  • Terence Hennegan
    Terence Hennegan 2 ай бұрын

    Excellent video, very enlightening. Authenticity..Wow !

  • Jen
    Jen 2 ай бұрын +5

    Repressing emotions was my survival to remain a part of the family. 😟

  • Donia Nachshon
    Donia Nachshon 3 ай бұрын +2

    If I am interested in learning about borderline personality disorder through Gabor mate's viewpoint, what book of his would you recommend? Or lecture...
    Thanks!

  • Nita Daw
    Nita Daw Ай бұрын

    And that sums up just why some my English teacher at school was such a nightmare when it came to showing empathy and wisdom!

  • DS
    DS 3 ай бұрын +6

    i had trauma while in my mother, i was born with the umbilical cord around my neck causing a lack of oxygen my life has never been good. more trauma as a child more as a young bride and mother. i am 65 and have wished for death for 40 of my 65. now i am alone poor and hurt more than ever. there is no reason that i should have been born alive just to be unwanted.
    there are many people like me i understand this. i am not depressed i am so so heartbroken to be thrown away by my family. i do not make friends because i can not have many conversations with people before normal questions come up about life, family hopes and dreams.

    • OM Extracts
      OM Extracts 14 күн бұрын

      The trauma can also make you stronger and give you a type of resilience to pain, suffering and Chaos. Unfortunately we live in a world where adults can’t stop hurting children. To all of us victims. Be kind to yourself. Breath self love into your soul/being. I love you, you are loved. You are not alone💜🕉🙏🏼

    • abe
      abe 3 ай бұрын +1

      Family are, for me, the worst insensitive cruel barely human.
      I have only me, myself & I.
      But! Not 1 of them could accomplish what I have.
      Deep pain...but it does pass. I cannot trust anyone.
      I understand 👍 xo

    • nico nico
      nico nico 3 ай бұрын +1

      I am so sorry for the suffering you had. I hope you get joy in your life, comfort and genuine, good people as friends.

    • Danger Gamer
      Danger Gamer 3 ай бұрын

      Don't you worry dear. You may were not born for one but for all humanity. Be for all and feel love for yourself, spread love and compassion and you will get it back. Best wishes❤️

  • Corina van de Wetering
    Corina van de Wetering 12 күн бұрын

    That was a beautiful explanation of the left brain and right brain connected with the heart and gut🌺todda raba😉

  • Patient Zero
    Patient Zero 19 күн бұрын +1

    As a child of the 80’s I don’t think adults cared too much about “childhood trauma”. Lol. Life is trauma. You either get used to it or self-implode.

  • Carla
    Carla 3 ай бұрын

    Absolutely correct 💖

  • Anthony Iacobucci
    Anthony Iacobucci 7 күн бұрын

    What people don't realize is that all of our behaviors and traumas happen as an infant...not as a 5 year old or 10 year old. The most impact is in the first weeks of life and even from the birth trauma itself. The only way to reconnect to the authentic self is to relive the trauma itself, in full. Psychedelics do this. Not many other therapies can. Unless you literally access that part of the brain that still holds the trauma, talking about it will do nothing. Your body needs to remember it on a somatic level.

  • R B
    R B 11 күн бұрын

    When human development is resisted..all the issues we have persist.

  • aida sanchez
    aida sanchez Ай бұрын +1

    The emotional center in the brain, the limbic system, gets miswired with trauma (emotional, physical, chemical, mental ; sudden or long term ; can be one or a combination of factors)
    The task is to rewire the brain through cognitive exercises done consistently for several months .

  • arusyak karapetyan
    arusyak karapetyan 3 ай бұрын +1

    Again wisdom is the answer to most of our problems

  • Hiroko Morioka
    Hiroko Morioka 4 ай бұрын +9

    Wars and internal conflicts cause generational traumas. They are manifested as ADHD, cancer, suicide, and mental unhealth. Accute trauma causes the deformation of DNA.

  • Far Rider
    Far Rider 3 ай бұрын

    Yes, when the event horizon shows only mistrust and fight , and I claim this is what we all experience individually, collectively, predominantly, repeatedly, how the hell can one be a person in agreement with oneself and the other ?
    Mr.Maté speaks strikingly simple fact.
    Now - where's the solution ?

  • Esperanza Munoz
    Esperanza Munoz 4 сағат бұрын

    Dr. Gabor, all you say is very true but how do you bring out our authenticity if you don't remember who or what I was before my childhood trauma? My authentic emotions were sqashed as long as I can remember. When I have tried to say what I feel or think I'm chastised as being too honest. To pull back. So for the most part I pull back, in like a turtle when they're being threatened.
    I prefer being alone. It takes too much energy to try to fit in. I never can.

  • America Theghetto
    America Theghetto 4 ай бұрын +1

    Go Gabor. Thank you since 2014.
    Thank you, ❤️

  • I love Yellow
    I love Yellow 4 ай бұрын +3

    Finally 😘 thank youuu for this thank you for sharing *goosebumps* literally

  • Mohamed Elfatih
    Mohamed Elfatih 4 ай бұрын +21

    You can be smart, intelligent But don't have wisdom... I think this sentence Said it all

    • j mc
      j mc 3 ай бұрын

      My dad taught me this many yrs ago.
      Wisdom always leads to truth, while intelligence may be used to deceive. (Tao Te Ching)
      Wisdom makes you the smartest person in the room, no matter how uneducated you are. (African philosopher)

  • Rania Marouani
    Rania Marouani Ай бұрын +1

    very informative and illuminating
    thank you for that

  • Gregory James
    Gregory James 4 ай бұрын +8

    The tears they fall like diamonds from my eyes and I can not afford it.

  • Scott Congdon
    Scott Congdon 5 күн бұрын

    He's speaking my language. I've known about the 3 brains for awhile. And that they have to agree with eachother .

  • Gavin Duggan
    Gavin Duggan 2 ай бұрын +2

    Such a wise and beautiful man.

  • Taj Lane
    Taj Lane 3 ай бұрын

    He's so great

  • Jeanne Weisz
    Jeanne Weisz 3 ай бұрын +4

    Until you make the unconscious conscious you will continue to call it fate--Carl Yung

    • Jeanne Weisz
      Jeanne Weisz 3 ай бұрын +1

      Don't thank me, thank Carl 😆😆😆😆😆
      Yep, I liked it, too. As a matter if fact, I really like his ideas and find him very interesting!!

    • Luciana Hurduc
      Luciana Hurduc 3 ай бұрын

      Woaw...this is soo deep..thanks for that @Jeanne Weisz

  • JillyBean
    JillyBean 23 күн бұрын

    Thank you 🙏🏻💫💖

  • Tiffany Johnson
    Tiffany Johnson 20 күн бұрын

    Thank you Jesus

  • Bernadette Nikodem-Panzer
    Bernadette Nikodem-Panzer Ай бұрын

    I wonder wheather also the emotions of the mother who has to give her child away to make sure her baby survives, are possibly part of the traumatic reaction of the child?
    In other words: wheather the experience of being given away results in trauma or not - can it depend on the feelings and thoughts of the mother that she has towards her behaviour towards her child?
    That would mean, that the babies frozen emotions could actually be her mothers emotions

  • ALL ALL
    ALL ALL 3 ай бұрын +2

    Accepting the reality of human nature heals trauma.

  • Benjamin Slayton
    Benjamin Slayton 19 күн бұрын +1

    Been listening to him for a few hours just realized he talks just like John Depp

  • Sherry Harvey
    Sherry Harvey 3 ай бұрын

    Amen. Wisdom💕

  • Monique Lane
    Monique Lane 2 ай бұрын +2

    It is interesting because the sense of attachment is greater than our need to be authentic, which is what has led to the survival of humanity. That the limbic system that controls our emotional centre of the brain and found in all mammals is necessary for surivial - it is a sacrifice of "self" for "other" because it led to our greater survival in nature. How does one reconcile these two points of attachment? It is a fascinating topic and can be seen in other mammals. For example cetacean researchers identified that orca's have a larger limbic system (all delphinidae species - dolphins) than humans and has led them to theorise that "their sense of self is divided amongst the members of the pod", in essence they are one unit within themselves. I feel that humans we feel this sense as well and explains why when we lose someone or there is death (grief), that it feels as if "a part of ourselves is missing". We cannot comprehend what this grief must be like then for the dolphins, if they have a larger limbic system?!!! This lends on this topic of attachment and how it has these incredible evolutionary levels to it - it's like the yin yang - their is a price to pay for each side.

  • Nightingale Rose
    Nightingale Rose 4 ай бұрын +4

    Can someone tell me what resources I might seek out? I love Gabor Mate’s theories, ideas, approach. My finances are limited but I have been having a mental breakdown for nearly three months over a relationship that ended. I can’t stop calling him and yelling. He won’t take my calls and I can’t stop. I am a fifty year old woman and caregiver to my bed-bound mother. I am not a teenager but I am acting out of control. The pain of being left feels unbearable. Can somebody tell me what specific help I might seek out, preferably something in alignment with Mate’s ideas? Thank you.

    • Anne Begue
      Anne Begue Ай бұрын

      Hi just wanted to share I m 62 and I was obsessed with an ex...to Heal the inner child I started with looking in the mirror and I saying ' I love You' keep doing this , it might be hard at first and you might cry but It Works.. and using EFT "tapping on meridian points"...take care 🙏🏽💜🌻

    • Nightingale Rose
      Nightingale Rose 2 ай бұрын

      @A Lo yes, am familiar with her, and she’s great. Thank you!

    • Nightingale Rose
      Nightingale Rose 2 ай бұрын

      @Tian Yue thanks, again. I have a dog. She is my best pal. I am also vegan, and have been involved in animal rights and rescue. I am an adjunct professor also, but teach remotely as I take care of my mom. I appreciate your thoughtful response. Happy New Year to you.

    • Nightingale Rose
      Nightingale Rose 2 ай бұрын

      @sanek94cool I just want to say I appreciate your thoughtful response, and I will look into all of that. Happy New Year to you.

  • virginia harvey
    virginia harvey Күн бұрын

    Great insight.thank u very much

  • Merzui
    Merzui 4 ай бұрын +2

    How would Mate explain a 7 year old who has loving, caring parents who becomes violent? Or, an adult who had a non-traumatic childhood who is diagnosed with bipolar or borderline personality disorder?

    • Munira El-Sabah
      Munira El-Sabah 2 ай бұрын +1

      @Meowch very well said, the first part hit like an arrow in my heart.
      Adding to the second - not just what happend to us but like he says in another video what has failed to happen! (Emotional or physical negligence)
      Thank you and wish you well!

    • Munira El-Sabah
      Munira El-Sabah 2 ай бұрын

      @curiousme this unfortunately is again a survival method. Not acknowledging the truth and keep up the lies till they look believable.
      Same here, you are not alone!
      Very sad indeed.
      Plus in my mum's generation (40ies) the church doctrine was practised! Meaning the forth commandment meant that a parent regardles of his/her behaviour was always right and to be obeyed cos .... they have the best of interest for their kids :(
      I rebelled against her and ran away at the age of 14 hoping that it would be a turning point and that she would start to think "why" I did it. Think about my real needs - appreciation, valuing, acceptance of who I am (was just a normal but overweight girl), having interest into what drives me, .... but the only question I got was "why did you do this, U know you got exams coming up. Did u at least take the books with you to study"
      I was completely devastated and thought of it being the last nail on the coffin. From then on I counted the days when I would turn 18 and off I was ....
      Unfortunately my experience and inner demons came with me and cos of me lacking completely a stable self I got into a marriage (which tbh may saved my life) but damage was done to my kids.

    • nico nico
      nico nico 3 ай бұрын

      @Kelley Cornwell Wow, thanks for sharing. Most just throw people in psychiatric hospital without checking if there is a physical cause for the change in their behavior. Maybe your comment leads someone to help a loved one.
      Many people who feel a change in their behavior, anger or something else, blame themselves and don't have the courage to ask for help. Your friend's story could encourage them to check with their doctor and run some tests.

    • Laurie
      Laurie 3 ай бұрын

      @Hermien Elago I'd say that love Never seeks to traunatise. If we experience love in a process ..thru states that is awesome. Love is ever present. Trauma is not our natural state. Love cannot traumatise. Maybe beginning to Feel effects of trauma, is love in action. .

    • Hermien Elago
      Hermien Elago 3 ай бұрын

      Who decides what it is loving for each person. What may look like love one, may be trauma for another.

  • tpsflix
    tpsflix 17 күн бұрын

    Is anyone else looking for part 1???

  • Manoj Shiva
    Manoj Shiva 3 ай бұрын +2

    Use osho's dynamic meditation to relieve trauma or any other spiritual technique. Life is short. We can't gobble up and let the Blockages determine our emotional state all the time. Trauma built up is a ticking bomb.

    • Ellis B
      Ellis B 3 ай бұрын

      Well said

  • Charlie
    Charlie 3 ай бұрын +2

    I'm glad he brought up "triggers". My takeaway is that people who are easily triggered reflect their own emotional baggage, not the intentions of others. Such over-sensitive people need to recognize that and stop censoring the rest of us.

    • Stuart T
      Stuart T 2 ай бұрын +2

      Perhaps judging the symptoms of other people's trauma, is a reflection of a trigger that brings the need to judge other people's trauma? Perhaps a challenge to ego? I wish you and all on the path, peace, happiness an the very best

    • Lydia McNeill
      Lydia McNeill 3 ай бұрын +4

      I agree that people need to own their own triggers but it's not fair to put everything on to the person already suffering the most. Surely it's fair to try your best not to trigger someone if they are trying their best to manage their triggers. Meet in the middle

  • Verena Pastyrik
    Verena Pastyrik 17 күн бұрын

    👏👏👏

  • Joshua Mak
    Joshua Mak 4 ай бұрын +16

    I want to be a Firestick Farmer like the Aboriginal people used to do a lot of because as far as emotional intelligence goes, it’s like “Hey lads it’s that time of the year where we burn off the dead wood and such, to promote growth and continue the cycle of life.” That’s some next level shit if you think about it but it seems to be the case that men of times past had a rather satanic urge to purge emotional intelligence from humanity. That’s Evil, as far as I’m concerned and I speak as an extremely intellectually developed but emotionally under developed person.
    Right now I want to play games and stimulate my mind with a digital screen, something I learned to do when I was about a few months old, after I learned to smother my face into my pillow and cry myself to sleep. The pain of just how alone and lonely my soul is, In This Body anyways, is… just too much for me to handle by myself. I know there should be a better alternative but I don’t really trust reality enough to go out and act on the instinct that I need to have my emotional needs attended to.
    I can’t suppress that emotion forever however, because that’s how you breed predators and haha funnily enough our society is structured such that if you had to go out of your way to design an environment to create predators… you actually could not come up with anything better because it’s already here. That Evil as far as I’m concerned. Excess order.
    I’m 22 now but emotionally actually a baby it’s not even funny, so that’s just where we’re fucking at right now.
    But who knows maybe we can Turn This Whole Thing Around and start to contest the future?
    My suffering and yours too will have a part to play in Teaching The World to become emotionally responsible for themselves and maybe, just maybe we can have friends like the maid and dog I had when I was an infant because they saw who I was (where I was at emotionally) and did their best to help me out.

    • Jennifer Hampton
      Jennifer Hampton 4 ай бұрын +1

      I think Expressive Arts in a group setting is healthy and grounding. Please, give it a try if you can. Be around healthy support. No rabbit holes anymore. All the best to you.

    • Aisling HolianLawlor
      Aisling HolianLawlor 4 ай бұрын +2

      Thank you for sharing!! You are not alone!! As a 44 yr old I would say to you that the problems and joys I have are not the same as the problems and joys I had at 22. Just take one day at a time, ok?! Also, I watched an interview with Mr Maté yesterday (3 times) I am definitely purchasing his book. Check out Dr. Gabor Maté’s interview with Mayim Bialik. Video is called: Dr. Gabor Maté: Who Gets Sick, and How to Prevent it

    • GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM
      GARETH_HEAL ON INSTAGRAM 4 ай бұрын +2

      👆👆🍄🍄💯
      I recommend microdosing mushrooms, it has really helped me on anxiety , panic attack, bipolar disorder, insomnia , depression PTSD and ADHD schizophrenia.......

    • courtneyawalsh
      courtneyawalsh 4 ай бұрын +4

      Very astute for 22! 🙏🏼

  • Health & Beyond
    Health & Beyond 3 ай бұрын

    100 percent 🙏