So, Palpatine ended up finally wiping out the Jedi, leaving only his relative, who steals Luke and Anakin’s name, as the only force user in the galaxy. The Sith won after all.
@Sean Foltz Honestly I liked the prequels (at least a little). I actually think Anakin is written well in the first one. He speaks his mind, asks unconventional but important questions, and has a morbid outlook on life, all traits of a future Vader. Dokou and Grevious are a mess, although the former is carried by Christopher Lee, and the 2003 series version makes some sense of the latter. Maul was actually pretty fun and a perfect agent for the plot he was in, as was Jango. And I'm still blown away by the CGI and the fight scenes as I used to be. I hate Clone Wars 2008, because it's badly written, even more so than the prequels. It breaks cannon by making Clones real people, as opposed to organic droids. It turns the Jedi into clueless fools who never bother to double check on the bio chip program, even though that should have been a huge red flag. It allows Ashoka Tano, who's basically a more ineffective Pong Krell, to get off relatively light, even though Yoda acknowledges the individuality of the people she got killed. Plus she normalized the unapologetic brat trop that is the standard for every woke protagonist these days. And it turns Grevious into even more of a poorly written mess than he was in Revenge of the Sith, killing a Jedi Knight by using his extra arms to get around his guard in "The Lair Of Grevious" only to forget he can do that in every subsequent fight with Ashoka (a mere padwan). It's a poorly written dumpster fire, lacking in stakes, morality, or cannon consistency.
@Fiction Theorizer I actually didn't mind the second trilogy - yes, it was a different flavor than the first and while I didn't care for the parasites being the reason you have the force, it was otherwise enjoyable and "close enough" in feel and flavor to the original. But this third trilogy was hands down the Chinese knock off version and a bad Chinese knockoff at that - we're talking paint flaking off and damaged pieces right out of the box and just getting worse from there.
Can't help but think in my own headcanon that it was actually Han Solo who stuck Kylo Ren's lightsaber through his gut at the end of The Force Awakens. He glimpsed past the 4th Wall and saw the direction everything was headed and was like 'Fuck it, I'm out!' Doesn't make any less sense than the two movies that would follow.
That opening chase where the TIEs chased the Falcon was total horseshite because 1. Why is the First Order wasting so much time chasing one ship that they know will try to lose them before returning to base? 2. The only way Hyperspace tracking could work is if a supercomputer were to measure a ship’s trajectory and calculate a likely berthing port so, do all of the TIEs have supercomputers onboard? 3. How much Hyperfuel is each of these ships carrying?! 4. How is the First Order not bankrupt yet? 5. How did they jump without performing their calculations? Calculations that prevent them from flying into stars or moons?!
@Soundwave142 I mean, You can add a hyperdrive in a small frame. X-Wings have them too, after all. That said, Tie Fighters were never supposed to have them. They are designed as short-range interceptors, unlike the X-Wing. Just saying "First Order Tie's are more advanced and now have hyperdrive" is just... as unimaginitive as the rest of the trilogy. It would fit right in, honestly.
@coding husky the sith kills the master due to the rule of 2, the sith used to be a giant organization the same as the jedi. The sith and the jedi are both religions yes but these originated from the jedi and sith homeworlds the same way religion in our world has its origins and spread to other places
Yeah the perfect example of this is 10,000 star destroyers rising from beneath the ground: Audience: "Does it make sense?" Jar Jar Abrams: "No but it looks cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's why all these reboots and sequels make no sense, their writing philosophy is "Screw the logic, if it looks cool just put it in there".
what's funny is that this is literally 100% true. When JJ Abrams was hired to rewrite Colin Treverrow's script he literally made a bucket list of 'things he wanted to see in the last star wars movie' and then tried to build a narrative around random bullshit
Luke had to go to a dark swamp planet to master his jedi training. Rey just basically closed her eyes, went all "I know kung fu" on the force and suddenly knows every jedi trick in the book. Yeah...this was bad.
Jj Abrams, the guy that made a star wars movie titled “The Rise of Skywalker” then proceeded to kill off the only remaining Skywalker (by blood) and make a palpatine steal the name.
Star Wars Cannon Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld Star Wars Legends Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld The Rise Of Skywalker: The Sith Homeworld is a planet you've never hear of before and that doesn't even appear in any previous media about Star Wars.
@Jeff Engert he's been doing the same show over and over, not gonna say he's not good at what he makes but his "star wars" is far from being amazing, is just that compared with the mountains of shit that is current Disney star wars his work looks fantastic.
@Saberian Dream that 'parasite' has done more to keep the Star Wars franchise from dying horribly at Kathleen Kennedy's hand than anyone. So what if the planet once known as Korriban is now called Moriband.
@John Porteous many people hate the fucking ewok storyline. By my choice of words you might infer that I am one of them. Some of the EU is on the same quality or even higher though.
C-3PO's programing won't allow him to read the Sith dagger. Critical Drinker: What is this thing, the Ring of Sauron or something Me: No, the Ring of Sauron was useful.
Also makes no sense that reading sith code is illegal or whatever. The law has to date back to the age of the old jedi, since the new republic wouldnt have any laws like that. And neither would the empire, which would undo that law probably. And 3po was made on tatooine, a planet where republic law doesnt apply
_"This movie is a walking shadow. A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"_ That William Shatner was one smart dude.
In Legends, the Unknown Regions are unknown because of the difficulties of exploration. Scout ships have to find reliable hyperspace routes, and then they have to update the starcharts. And that's if they get back to known space in one piece. Simply put, Legends has a good reason to call them the Unknown Regions. Disney just thought the name sounded nice and dramatically imposing. *tosses back a shot* Fuck off, Disney!
And from memory there were even attempts to establish outposts and colonies in the unknown regions, but simply the difficulty getting there and the hostility of the surroundings meant that they weren’t viable.
Yes and there is an actual rich history already created about it which includes a facinating tid bit about a species actually named the sith that eventually had their name co-opted. But I digress. It's just sad to see all that incredible writing done over decades and decades.
@Panthera Pardus Korriban is where the Sith originated, but once the Dark Side turned it into a wasteland, most of them moved to Ziost, leaving Korriban as a tomb world. As for Dromund Kaas, that became the Sith homeworld after Emperor Vitiate rebuilt the Sith Empire after the Great Hyperspace War.
"They fly now?" Says C3P0 who saw Clone troopers, Storm troopers and Storm troopers series X fly. Says Poe who saw Storm troopers series X fly. Says Finn who was a Storm trooper series X.
so you telling me.. That anakin became Vader to save padme by learning how to bring people back to life, and Rey has mastered this skill without even knowing it exists? was it that easy? Damn Disney
I mean he also became Vader bc he hated how self-destructive the republic and Jedi had become, at least, to him But yea, ain’t that just the definition of “we gave up”
The best way I could describe this plot: "pinball machine". Bouncing around from one thing to the other, not really accomplishing anything, but making a shit-ton of noise and flashiness along the way
My girl and I tried watching this for the first time on Disney+. We never finished it. We got to the scene with the dagger map and gave up and, admittedly, we couldn't even stand to watch it in longer than 15 minute intervals up to that point either. We were both Star Wars fans from childhood but these movies have made us lose all interest in the franchise.
I watched a review where they actually praised this movie. Among other praises one stuck in my mind, they seemed to be very impressed that the scene with the party was depicted as only being held every 42 years or something as if it was some brilliant piece of writing to shoehorn in a random party that only happens every 42 years and that its also been 42 years since A New Hope 😂😂😂
To be fair to the Holiday Special, at least it set up a truly horrifying moment in the novel "Death Troopers", where Chewbaca hallucinates eating his child with his family.
Think about this - Anakin's entire fall to the dark side was because of his inability to stop his loved ones from dying. As he said, he could do nothing to save his mother in episode 2. Then he had visions of Padme's death in Episode 3, thus his obsession to save her grew so much that he turned to the dark side to try to learn how to save her. THE ENTIRE PREQUELS AND ANAKIN'S TRAGIC STORY WAS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T SAVE THE ONES HE LOVED FROM DYING! In Rise of Skywalker, Rey saves Ben from dying by touching him and then Ben just resurrects Rey from death by lightly touching her stomach for 5 seconds... FU*K DISNEY STAR WARS.
Don't forget, she accidentally kills Chewy in, oh I don't care enough to know which one it was, but it's fine because he was on a different spaceship because Rey can do no wrong.
The half explained reason for Palpatine being back is cloning : "Dark secrets only the Sith knew about". i guess the entire prequels aren't canon anymore
also the kaminosians weren´t even the only ones to know how to clone... they boasted the BEST clones, meaning there are others out there that know how to
@F.-X. Cardin guess it was easier for them to take Capcom's "who gives a shit!" approach to the story than it was for them to can the sequel trilogy entirely after Last Jedi torpedoed Farce Awaken's flimsy narrative and start from scratch with people who actually knew what the hell they're doing. Would've taken longer but it'd have been preferable to the lowest common denominator storyline we got as closure to the forty years of storytelling and world building the Skywalker saga has under its belt
The movie is a visual masterpiece. However it is so forgettable and shallow as a story, it isn't worth watching a second time. I created a drinking game for the times that the camera zooms in on Rey with no dialogue. I was plastered in 20 minutes
I couldn't stand this film, and having seen it only once, even my honed mind couldn't quite wrap around all of the things that were so wrong with it. Thank you for giving all of my confused and angry thoughts a more lucid and thought out presentation!
Honestly. I watched it one, fell asleep halfway through, woke up in time to see the ending, and never had any interest in watching it again. My brain was numb to this trilogy before the Rise of Skywalker had come out..
Stood in line as a kid, waiting in the rain to get a ticket to the first Star Wars movie. The next batch of movie chapters built upon it very well. I even enjoyed the Rogue One & Solo branches. Nothing is perfect (yes Jar Jar was dam irritating, however he made me laugh. He was 'that guy' somebody always brings to the party to love or hate) but they still added to a great story with expected continuity. Then came the final 2 shows that not only shit every bed that Hilton has to offer, but did it despite the fact they actually had to go out of their way to sewer the once traditional storyline and spit on every character that had earned their time tested golden right to stand tall and not be simply displaced by a new wave of magically entitled upstarts. Those new actors should really be embarrassed. Can't wait to see them pushed out of their own much dimmer spotlight and enjoy feeling ripped off by the babies of their future. A couple of 'Spaceballs' sequels would have fit better. But JJ wouldn't know much about 'balls' ...
I can relate to that. I was 8 years old when it came out. People who waiting in line with me, were People who actually just got out of the theater and wanted to see it for the second or third time. Not all but alot of them. People went crazy with that movie. When ESB came out, it was even worse and the cinema were I was living at the time had a special run when you could see ANH and ESB for the same price, shortly after the second came out, maybe 3 or 4 weeks after. There was People who waited for that special projection. RoJ was the same thing. It was an amazing time for movies, then terminator and robocop came out, the goonies.. and they did little publicity except for the posters, so imagine something as creative and original come out today, with all the social media and people who would talk about them movies. People would need to wait for DAYS on the opening night and few weeks later. I wish the younger People could experience something like this, not with only one movie but exactly what we had, 6 or 7years straight of amazing movies like we had the chance to see when they came out.
Wait, so Palpatine had Snoke create a planet-sized super weapon... to hide the fact that he was building a big fleet of ships? HOW COULD HE AFFORD ANY OF THIS? I feel like Palpatine's true power was just that he had... all the money, literally ALL the money in the galaxy.
I’m a year late and a dollar short but here’s my two cents. What if the signal that was being sent out in the beginning of the movie was not a radio broadcast but a message intercepted by rebel spies. The message was calling for all first order personnel to return to the Sith home world. So the rebels need to chase first order ships and follow them to the Sith home world. Boom it rhymes with the second movie. You could even have one of the first order ships sacrifice itself to destroy half the rebel fleet just like in TLJ.
My biggest issue with this is the countless fan theories that the empire was right/good and that the rebels (OGT) were basically political terrorists. The imperial fleet, under this assumption, basically served as cops/coast guard for interplanetary trade, protecting against smugglers and pirates and enforcing laws (like outlawing the rampant slavery in the outer rim). JJ and the sequal trilogy retcon all of this for cartoonishly evil villians with no real motivation. Worse, they suddenly have bigger and better stuff than the empire, despite the power struggle and fracturing that would naturally occur after a regime collapses. It's terrible, just terrible. It's not historically influenced, it doesn't say anything socially or politically, the story isn't captivating or memorable. They had so much to work with, but this is what we got.
Before Disney got there hands on it they actually “flew now” roughly 3500 years ago because the the mandalorians during the old republic even had jet pack technology
Honestly, the very moment I've learned that it will be a sequel trilogy instead of a completely new one, I pretty much knew it would be shit. The thing is, the original six films were done; they had a beginning, middle, and and VERY satisfying end, and making any direct sequel on them is butchering by definition. If Disney actually cared about art, they'd start a new saga AND KEEP PALPATINE DEAD!
@Samuel Allard Can you imagine the Zahn trilogy brought to the big screen by people who know and care about the franchise and its incredible EU stories and characters?! That would have been the most incredible thing - instead we get the entire EU, decades of work by dozens of people, jossed for no good reason and all this crap instead. It's a travesty!
If Disney had any sense, they should have scrapped the live-action sequel trilogy after discount A New Hope and instead used the excellent staff of The Clone Wars to create an extensive animated TV and film series out of the Extended Universe.
I was crying throughout this review - snot was bubbling out of my nose (especially when Rey was on screen), tears was falling like a river out of my eye sockets and a mixture of vomit and saliva mixed in an appetizing puddle in my mouth. When it was finished, I had one thought in my head: "I'm sure happy that I didn't spend a dime & time on that trilogy"! Then swallowed the aforementioned puddle and got ready for part two.
Due to the drinking challenge you proposed at the beginning of the video, I had to split my viewing of this video into three sessions spread across three weekends. My friends weren’t impressed with me getting shitfaced three weeks in a row and drunk dialing all of them countless times, but it was worth it for the review! Well, the parts of it that I remember, at least.
This movie felt like a fever dream. The story telling and pacing reminded me of when a kid tells you a story and keeps saying "And then, And then, And then"
My nephew does that all the time it's it's adorable... not so much so when I have to deal with it inside of a movie franchise I expect so much more from but really shouldn't have after it was sold to a company that canceled one of the only promising looking games it had basically the second it bought it and hired someone I still think had no business having anything to do with it
Just can’t believe this whole trilogy occurred over the course of like a year since the first 2 movies were literally back to back occurring over the course of a weekend basically
Original Trilogy - Beautiful, masterful, unique story telling based on past movie tropes Prequel Trilogy - A decent, dark, origin story to how the originals came to be Sequel Trilogy - kid friendly garbage with absolutely no substance and no care for past characters I really hope Disney learns from this mistake and avoids it in case they decide to do another trilogy, which I know they will because $$$.
@Dot I've always had love for the Phantom Menace; almost a closeted lover of it back when it was cool to hate on the prequels. AOTC I understand the criticisms but still find it enjoyable overall.
Except what you describe the prequels to be is basically only what Revenge of the Sith was, because The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked and are basically just kids’ movies now.
I remember being the odd man out saying Force Awakens was really mediocre but every one was so head over heels with it and now people are calling out trilogy completely. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.
Clever Girl. I can't comment on TFA, because I still haven't watched it. Nearly all of my interest in Star Wars evaporated the second I heard that they were dumping the EU, but I still didn't know that the sequels would be THIS BAD.
FYI, force healing has been around for a long time too but its supposed to be incredibly rare AND extremely difficult...so of course Rey can just do it now.
Completely different. Legends Force Healing could only heal very minor, superficial injuries. If someone cuts your arm off, that arm isn't coming back. And you couldn't save someone from certain death. The power that Anakin seeks during the Prequels and Rey/Kylo use, Midichlorian manipulation, was an extremely complex Dark Side power only mastered by Plagueis & Sidious. That power allows Midichlorians, cells that essentially act as Force transmitters, to be birthed from thin air and used to prolong life, revive the dead, and kill from far away.
@Orange123 The problem with Rey being Palpatine's granddaughter was tossed in at the last minute, there was no actual plan or indication that from the force awakens and the last Jedi that show Rey being a descendant of Palpatine. the problem with Rey using force healing is that she has the same amount of training as Luke in ROTJ and much less training than Anakin in Revenge of the Sith. But Luke wasn't able to heal Anakin as he was dying and Anakin wasn't able to heal and save Padme. Obi wan wasn't able to heal qui gon jinn either. Luke and Anakin also had flat out losses unlike Rey. You mentioned Rey's struggles with the dark side, so we'll go that route. Anakin made mistakes that were permanent, for example when his mother was killed by the Tusken raiders, he proceeded to slaughter an entire village. Anakin also murdered a group of younglings at the Jedi temple and his evil actions led to Padme's death since she lost the will to live. Rey "killing" Chewbacca and nearly killing Kylo are not the same since she manages to heal Kylo and Chewbacca was alive right after the force lightning scene in Rise of Skywalker taking away any changes for Rey to overcome any internal struggle.
I found the “ thirteen year old with ADHD” thing hilarious, cause I have ADHD and when I was thirteen I wrote a book, and it was better than this movie.
The most fun I had with this movie was seeing it in theaters with my brother and his dudes and cracking jokes at how bad it was. We were basically the only ones there in Januaryish and I'm pretty sure the few other people there were cracking up too.
When I first saw this I actually didn't have any suspicions on who the spy was. I figured it was either a new character they were going to introduce, or it would be someone I had seen before but couldn't care less.
I wonder how, with all the budget they have, they just can't hire a competent writer and instead rely on visuals and action scenes. Is their public that dumb ?! Why do Hollywood studios insist on making this instead of the fine art that made them become the film staple a few decades ago ?
@yar yar that's a great animation with wonderful and unique characters that still relatively stuck to an accurate and well made Greek Mythology, it was fun and entertaining and you learnt stuff. It's Infinitely better compared to the sequel Trilogy.
That scream from Event Horizon never gets old haha. As for the criticism, I think you covered it so well that all I can say is nice job, man! One thing I will say, however, is that I get all kinds of writing inspiration and little technical reminders watching your vids, so I must express my gratitude as well. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep standing up for testosterone in literature!
I remember watching 'Super 8' and being shocked that the dialogue/behavior of the adults was as child-like as that of the young children. I thought then that J.J wasn't very good at film-making and that he was probably a very bright geek who had not done a lot of adult things in his life. Immense enthusiasm isn't a skill and one gets the impression that is all J.J really has.
You created yourself a lovely stage persona with this. Really good and refreshing. The issues you’re discussing I have been pointing out for decades already, as countless others did too👍. About time someone with a bit of a wider reach took out the virtual megaphone :)👍
What I hate about the new trilogy, especially "The Rise of.." amongst many other things is that it completely makes the bravery of Luke and the sacrifice of Vader at the end of "The Return of the Jedi" null and void. Basically Luke didn't bring back the Jedi, because his nephew turned evil anyway, destroyed his temple, killed his students. Vader died in vain and his sacrifice didn't mean anything because the galaxy ended up evil anyway and look, even Palpatine survived...somehow. I think even the Holiday Special wasn't this insane. There, I said it! "The Force Awakens" had potential and it was fun but Disney proved very quickly that they are only capable of making remakes, but anything original is beyond them. Oh, wait, the Mulan remake happened. I take back what I said. Even good remakes are beyond Disney.
Actually Rebels, Rogue One, Solo (it was fun and entertaining if nothing else and how Han met Chewie and young Lando were fun), The Force Awakens (despite being hopelessly derivative) and Jedi: Fallen Order as well as The Mandalorian were all fantastic. Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker kinda suck balls tho.
@Zets' Tube It's not that bad yes they are inconsistent especially last Jedi to rise of Skywalker. I would say the prequels are better but count Dooku suffered from lack of scene time, maul died after 5 seconds and general grievous was a coward. Palpatine was done well in fact I think he was a great manipulative person and father figure to anakin. Rey's conflict makes no sense sense it turns out her parents weren't bad parents they just sacrificed themselves for her even though kylo Ren explained in the last movie they were filthy drunk traders who sold her for drinking money. I don't like last Jedi but Rey being a nobody was actually a really good idea that means no one's has to be related to someone else
My friends called me crazy when I assumed that Star Wars would be fucked by Disney, those same friends are now crying about what happened to Star Wars.
I always found it funny how Palpatine told Kylo to “kill the girl” constantly in the beginning and middle and at the end he was like “I needed you alive and to come here all along”. Ughhh!!!
"As film-makers, as writers, we had no interest whatsoever in putting our jack, our baggage into these movies. We just thought we should take what Tolken cared about, clearly, and put those into the film." - Peter Jackson: Film Writer, Screenwriter and Producer of 'The Lord of the Rings' Trilogy Legions upon legions are glaring at you, D&D and Disney fucks.
I paid an overpriced ticket after a 7 hour shift at work to see this film with my best mate - who is a massive Star Wars fan. He is the only reason I didn't walk out within the first hour.
The emperor using a sith fleet to attack the republic as a diversion while building a secret massive fleet in unknown space? THEY JUST USED THE PLOT OF THE OLD REPUBLIC!!
The movie is the embodiment of 1 upping your sibling as you two are playing a pretend game where nothing makes chronological sense and everything just gets bigger because bigger = cool + climactic of course.
@Phil Ingrouille I don’t like to brag usually, but after Force Awakens I had a really bad feeling about what was to come and didn’t bother with Last Jedi or Rise of Shit and I’m so glad I saved an accumulated 5 hours of depression at seeing my favorite universe go down the drain
Dont cry Little one... The Pc was using the force to shut itself down so you wouldent have to suffer the rest of the movie... Be grateful for the computer's sacrifice!
I can't remember what star wars had kylo first, but we have now tried to watch it with my son at least 3 times and every time we have either fallen asleep or just stopped and started doing something else.. Those who did it should feel very proud of their achievement, as it now belongs to a very narrow category of "movies too crappy to watch even to the end".
Chewie's death could have been quite impactful. Rey could have had some significant character development, facing the fact that her undisciplined emotions brought her to the dark side and led to her killing him. A humbling failure that sets the hero back, yet also plants the seeds for growth. But Chewbacca figures are one of the few Star Wars toys that actually sell, so Disney couldn't have that.
Maz sort of reminds me of the doctor in Andor, the one that was tasked to heal their teammate that got crushed by the crates lol. That surgeon looked JUST like her in the face.
Another outstanding review! I remember reading how JJ Abrams was interviewing writers for the upcoming TV show to be …Lost , and Damon Lindelöf walked in with a Star Wars T-shirt and they hit it off from that point on because of their common love for the original Star Wars and proceeded to walk us down the garden path for six years right up into one of the worst endings of any TV show that I’ve ever watched, leaving countless number of plot lines, unexplained and stating for six years “ don’t worry it’s not gonna be ended with they were all really dead all along“.… Until at the end of six seasons, they reveal well they were really dead for the last year! It’s no wonder that together they’ve destroyed. what was beautiful about the original trilogy.
It's just a small thing but while sparring with Leia in the flashback scene, Luke was probably a Jedi Master at this point, or at least very close to it. This is Luke in his prime and yet he still loses the fight to a female.
I have come here to declare that this film is one of the best comedies i've seen in recent history. Then on top of that, the moment when chewie lewie blew up i was in complete hysterics for the rest of the day.
Somewhere around an hour and a half in my wife leaned over and asked me to clarify what was going on and I whispered "they're looking for a guy who can reset C3PO so that he can decipher the writing on the knife so that they can find the location to the planet where they can find the way finder so they can find the way to get to the planet where they can find Palpatine".. She just kind of looked at me for a moment and I said " yeah, its fucking stupid" and swear to god the guy who was sitting next to us that I didn't know from Adam said "real fucking stupid".. and we just laughed cause we didn't think it could get any worse. And then we got to the part where all the First/Final Order or Whatever ships all needed to be linked to a central beacon tower so they could get out of the atmosphere, which is just going fucking up, and we just lost it. Another couple in front of us turned around and we all sat through the last 10 minutes of the big battle laughing our asses off about how fucking stupid thks was that the ships couldn't go up without a beacon, that they at one point transferred to one of the ships so the other ships could follow that one up, but how that one knew which way was up, I don't fucking know.. Unless they just looked out of the window, saw the ground, and then just went the other way.. But apparently JJ didn't think of that one. 🖕🖕🖕 Fuck Off Film!! (And those thousand hours of EFAP are fucking gold by the by)
Anakin made C3PO and his main thing that he always says he can do.... fluently speak over 6,000,000 forms of communication yet every time he encounters a new language in the film he is unable to translate it. Even happens in the novels as well.
I love Rey's acting... its like a confused stage play where any emotion is portrayed by a face gurning sweaty pause followed by a softly spoken fu*k you
How is it possible that 30 minutes of "The Mandalorian" are more interesting and fun than almost 8 hours of the sequel trilogy??? I don't know what Kathleen Kennedy thinks but under normal circumstances she must hate the success of "The Mandalorian"! But i think she would never admit that in public! George Lucas was a couple of times on the set of The Mandalorian! So he seems to care and like the show! Jon Favreau admitted that he took a lot of George Lucas' ideas and used them in "The Mandalorian"! I bet KK was pissed about that...!
@Curadhan Powell TV Showd can become grand scale. Just look at Game of Thrones for example. If Mandalorian continues to deliver and gets more seasons, people will eventually take a liking to it.
@Curadhan Powell What ? _One Piece_ ? _Dragon Ball Z_ ? _Hunter Hunter_ ? _Code Geass_ ? _Game Of Thrones_ ? _Death Note_ ? _Naruto_ ? _Avatar : The Last Airbender_ ? The accepted excuse of “it consists of dozens of hours of vidual and audio content, and you can watch them in batches over the course of days/weeks in total” makes room for a LOT of characterization; for you to grow with the characters and become a person of soe kind DUE TO these people; long stories that are interesting if they’re not stale (for you at least); etc...
the clip of peter dinklage puking out of no where caught me so off guard that I started laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and kept laughing while I was on the ground.
So the unknown regions were first talked about in kotor, way back in the day, these regions were areas that were not properly scouted for hyperspace lanes, trying to navigate and setup these routes is incredibly difficult and costs tons of resources as you are basically throwing darts into s void and hoping to hit a bullseye
To be fair to the sequel trilogy, the Unknown Regions was a large part of the galaxy even in the legenda canon. One of the reasons its unknown is because safe hyperspace routes are few and far in between, and its populated by hostile or unfriendly races like the Chiss. The Old Republic was also disinclined to explore the region as well.
I've always interpreted Yoda's statements from #1 as Sith coming in pairs. "Always two there are, a master and his apprentice." It seems a lot of fans and ex-canon works interpreted that to mean there are only ever two, which is dumb. Either the Sith are exponentially more powerful than Jedi (balance to the force, being that there were literally dozens of Jedi in #1), or Anakin is so insanely powerful that he was basically prophesied to fall to the darkness from the beginning. Regardless, this is a dumb interpretation. Why wouldn't there be more Sith? Maybe there were, and previous generations of battle left their numbers decimated? Again, the Jedi would have had the upper hand in terms of numbers and influence. What did they think the "balance" that Anakin brought could mean? Jedi are dumb.
@EvilMoW It's amazing how much a d3 decent sentences can fix so much. Hell, imagine if someone had said that the Holdo Maneuver only worked *because* of the Hyperspace Tracking Device instead of that "one in a million" garbage. Suddenly, her plan *actually* makes sense *without* breaking established world mechanics and coming off like an asspull. Also throw in a line to Leia how she's glad it turned out she truly can trust Finn and/or Poe to help carry on what the Resistance/Rebellion started, and suddenly Holdo's a decent character. Luke's even easier to fix. When he's about to burn down the Jedi tree with the sacred texts, just have Yoda tell him that Rey's already taken them and left, so Luke can stop the act. Then one of them says something about how Rey won't repeat the mistakes they made now. Suddenly, all that behavior from Luke goes from "worthless bitter old man" to "mentor trying to push a student to find their own way" which would actually fill in that missing "3rd lesson" that never happened. Plus we'd get an actual passing of the torch.
To sum up this review very quickly, these new star wars films were so politically contrived and weighed down with political correctness for the unnecessary and irrelevant empowerment of women and racially diverse people, that the writers, producers and director totally forgot two fundamental elements of a good film; 1 acknowledge the fact that franchise fans will want to see any sequals being consistent with any prequels. 2 give the audience and the fans some respect for a modicum of intelligence and that they will want to be entertained and not annoyed and or board by the new film. Not difficult is it.
14:05 - I was stunned in the theater when Kylo just got out of the wreck lmao. I couldn't believe it. The only thing dumber was Leia going full superman
The Skywalker saga is like flying first class, then losing an engine midway through the flight and just when there's hope that you're gonna land safely, you violently crash land.
Daniel Gooden Perhaps, but I'd rather have a villain go from Machiavellian mastermind to simply a badass, than get stuck with a whiny prick serving the Bananas in Pajamas' disfigured granddad. Plus, Palpatine being behind Snoke does a good job more or less explaining how Palpatine came back. Nice little spin on the Palpatine clones without directly lifting it from the EU.
To be fair the "unknown regions" has always been a thing in the star wars lore since The Old Republic storylines.. Its where the emperor at the time was hybernating til Revan found him and was turned into a Sith.
They are one of the most powerful, corrupt, psychopathic, dogmatic corporations in the world. Among Google, KZclip, Amazong, Starbucks, Netflix and a few more.
I pretty much only care for their animated content from Snow White to most of the stuff up to Tangled. But the company in itself represents the absolute worst of evil super power corporations. Old Walt would be spinning in his damn grave.
I also need to point out that Rey can levidate herself and half a mountain at this point So it quicksand should not really be a problem for her... Its kind of an indication that they gave her so many arbitrary powers that they lost track what she can actually do...
Saw this movie the day it came out with my 3 kids, all of whom are big star wars fans. My daughter fell asleep within the first 45 minutes, my youngest son wanted to leave after an hour and only my oldest wanted to stay to finish it since we already paid.... So we stayed, finished it, and was disappointed the whole way through.
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I played this drinking game and I’m still hungover 🤮🤢
4
Nah.
This movie is indeed garbage but the reason why the unknown regions are unknown is bc there arent many hyperspace wormholes over there.
So the Skywalker saga is actually the Palpatine saga and Palpatine takes over the Skywalker name and all the real Skywalkers are dead. Thanks Disney.
Yay, strong Wamens.
So, Palpatine ended up finally wiping out the Jedi, leaving only his relative, who steals Luke and Anakin’s name, as the only force user in the galaxy. The Sith won after all.
Kind of allegorical of Disney taking over Star Wars, huh?
Damn, that's actually very true 😓
The sad part is that the movie was so bad that when they pretended to kill Chewy I simply shrugged, not caring whether it was a fake out or not.
True lol
@Sean Foltz you have my first name. Sean #624
@Saberian Dream brexit
@Sean Foltz Honestly I liked the prequels (at least a little).
I actually think Anakin is written well in the first one.
He speaks his mind, asks unconventional but important questions, and has a morbid outlook on life, all traits of a future Vader.
Dokou and Grevious are a mess, although the former is carried by Christopher Lee, and the 2003 series version makes some sense of the latter.
Maul was actually pretty fun and a perfect agent for the plot he was in, as was Jango.
And I'm still blown away by the CGI and the fight scenes as I used to be.
I hate Clone Wars 2008, because it's badly written, even more so than the prequels.
It breaks cannon by making Clones real people, as opposed to organic droids.
It turns the Jedi into clueless fools who never bother to double check on the bio chip program, even though that should have been a huge red flag.
It allows Ashoka Tano, who's basically a more ineffective Pong Krell, to get off relatively light, even though Yoda acknowledges the individuality of the people she got killed.
Plus she normalized the unapologetic brat trop that is the standard for every woke protagonist these days.
And it turns Grevious into even more of a poorly written mess than he was in Revenge of the Sith, killing a Jedi Knight by using his extra arms to get around his guard in "The Lair Of Grevious" only to forget he can do that in every subsequent fight with Ashoka (a mere padwan).
It's a poorly written dumpster fire, lacking in stakes, morality, or cannon consistency.
@Fiction Theorizer I actually didn't mind the second trilogy - yes, it was a different flavor than the first and while I didn't care for the parasites being the reason you have the force, it was otherwise enjoyable and "close enough" in feel and flavor to the original.
But this third trilogy was hands down the Chinese knock off version and a bad Chinese knockoff at that - we're talking paint flaking off and damaged pieces right out of the box and just getting worse from there.
When Chewie first 'died' I felt relieved. He's out of his misery.
When he was ressurected - I thought 'poor bastard'
@Jeff Engert I mean Harrison Ford would have done that too…
but he got a meal after all
Can't help but think in my own headcanon that it was actually Han Solo who stuck Kylo Ren's lightsaber through his gut at the end of The Force Awakens. He glimpsed past the 4th Wall and saw the direction everything was headed and was like 'Fuck it, I'm out!'
Doesn't make any less sense than the two movies that would follow.
Remember when tie-fighters were short range fighters that couldn't function on their own in deep space? Obi Wan remembers.
It'd be impossie to even make a single destroyer after the Empire fell, but this fanfiction just goes on, prentending THAT never happened
@Zachary Findlay-Maddox They can fly on planets how else do they refuel
That opening chase where the TIEs chased the Falcon was total horseshite because 1. Why is the First Order wasting so much time chasing one ship that they know will try to lose them before returning to base? 2. The only way Hyperspace tracking could work is if a supercomputer were to measure a ship’s trajectory and calculate a likely berthing port so, do all of the TIEs have supercomputers onboard? 3. How much Hyperfuel is each of these ships carrying?! 4. How is the First Order not bankrupt yet? 5. How did they jump without performing their calculations? Calculations that prevent them from flying into stars or moons?!
Remember when ti-fighters were called TIE-Fighters?
@Soundwave142 I mean, You can add a hyperdrive in a small frame. X-Wings have them too, after all. That said, Tie Fighters were never supposed to have them. They are designed as short-range interceptors, unlike the X-Wing. Just saying "First Order Tie's are more advanced and now have hyperdrive" is just... as unimaginitive as the rest of the trilogy. It would fit right in, honestly.
Remember when Yoda himself went to the sith homeworld in Clone Wars?
And it was really easy?
And everyone knew about it?
And it wasn't this place?
Let’s just say I’m glad they didn’t use Korriban because you know they would have screwed it up.
Kyle needs a goal and it needs to be exciting, hence Exagol. Brilliant
@coding husky Literally not a single part of your comment has any truth to it whatsoever.
@coding husky the sith kills the master due to the rule of 2, the sith used to be a giant organization the same as the jedi. The sith and the jedi are both religions yes but these originated from the jedi and sith homeworlds the same way religion in our world has its origins and spread to other places
oh yeah... Korriban is canon. Forgot about that
This whole movie is a series of scenes where the director was like, "Wouldn't it be cool if..."
Yeah the perfect example of this is 10,000 star destroyers rising from beneath the ground:
Audience: "Does it make sense?"
Jar Jar Abrams: "No but it looks cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That's why all these reboots and sequels make no sense, their writing philosophy is "Screw the logic, if it looks cool just put it in there".
@member548 bahahahaha so true
"Good guy powers up and attacked and then bad guy yells and attacked and they attacked!" level fanfic writing.
what's funny is that this is literally 100% true. When JJ Abrams was hired to rewrite Colin Treverrow's script he literally made a bucket list of 'things he wanted to see in the last star wars movie' and then tried to build a narrative around random bullshit
I feel like this is what happened with the last season of Game of Thrones also.
Jesus, Space Balls had more respect for Star Wars than Disney has. And JJ makes Michael Bay look like Steven Spielberg.
Radars Jammed Sir! ….. Strawberry
Spice balls
May the Schwartz be with you
May the Schwartz be with you
Oof
Luke had to go to a dark swamp planet to master his jedi training. Rey just basically closed her eyes, went all "I know kung fu" on the force and suddenly knows every jedi trick in the book. Yeah...this was bad.
The force became the magic housecleaning tricks of harry potter.
Rey trained offscreen by going thru Squidward Community College
I literally said this on another video about RoS. It's like she suddenly got an anime power up and went super saiyan or some shit. XD
Jj Abrams, the guy that made a star wars movie titled “The Rise of Skywalker” then proceeded to kill off the only remaining Skywalker (by blood) and make a palpatine steal the name.
Also I like how the title implies the Skywalkers aren't a household name already and need to be risen to title. By a Palpatine.
@Ethan Broussard No, they aren't, they are cannons made against the fandom, Lucas, and the whole franchise.
@Blaine Tate I think the sequels are Canon though
Luke was searching for the second Wayfinder, but gave up. Rey finds it in literally a couple of hours.
In a giant sandpit that’s a different color than all the other sand around it.
*How convenient*
As a 22 year old with ADHD, I can confirm I could have wrote a better script at 13 than Disney’s absolute monstrosity
Star Wars Cannon Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld
Star Wars Legends Lore: Korriban is the Sith Homeworld
The Rise Of Skywalker: The Sith Homeworld is a planet you've never hear of before and that doesn't even appear in any previous media about Star Wars.
In canon they name changed it to moraband for some reason
I think it's called testicle in the movie.
Can they be anymore obvious that they don't read their own lore.
@Jeff Engert he's been doing the same show over and over, not gonna say he's not good at what he makes but his "star wars" is far from being amazing, is just that compared with the mountains of shit that is current Disney star wars his work looks fantastic.
@Saberian Dream that 'parasite' has done more to keep the Star Wars franchise from dying horribly at Kathleen Kennedy's hand than anyone.
So what if the planet once known as Korriban is now called Moriband.
This is not canon Star Wars, this is fan fiction. The saga ended succesfully at The Return of the Jedi.
this is the 1619 project version...fiction and fantasy
Amen sir
Amen
@John Porteous many people hate the fucking ewok storyline. By my choice of words you might infer that I am one of them.
Some of the EU is on the same quality or even higher though.
@Koko Roko it is much faster to read because I immediately decided to skip it..
C-3PO's programing won't allow him to read the Sith dagger.
Critical Drinker: What is this thing, the Ring of Sauron or something
Me: No, the Ring of Sauron was useful.
even if C-3PO couldn’t read it for some reason they could’ve just tried to find a droid who could instead of baiting the audience
The old republic had no laws against being a sith. So I don’t see why there language would be illegal
Also makes no sense that reading sith code is illegal or whatever. The law has to date back to the age of the old jedi, since the new republic wouldnt have any laws like that. And neither would the empire, which would undo that law probably. And 3po was made on tatooine, a planet where republic law doesnt apply
_"This movie is a walking shadow. A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"_
That William Shatner was one smart dude.
Nah man, u got him mixed up with Bill Shakespeare from Star Trek!
Slow yo roll 😂
In Legends, the Unknown Regions are unknown because of the difficulties of exploration. Scout ships have to find reliable hyperspace routes, and then they have to update the starcharts. And that's if they get back to known space in one piece.
Simply put, Legends has a good reason to call them the Unknown Regions. Disney just thought the name sounded nice and dramatically imposing. *tosses back a shot* Fuck off, Disney!
@Oturan20 It's fanfictions. Don't be afraid.
@Timoteo Seage de Toffol I never understood that. Isn't it supposed to be a galaxy far far way?
And from memory there were even attempts to establish outposts and colonies in the unknown regions, but simply the difficulty getting there and the hostility of the surroundings meant that they weren’t viable.
And in fanfictions: Earth is part of Unknown Regions !
J.J. Abrahams forgot about the actual sith home world:
It’s name is Korriban
Yes and there is an actual rich history already created about it which includes a facinating tid bit about a species actually named the sith that eventually had their name co-opted. But I digress. It's just sad to see all that incredible writing done over decades and decades.
He just kinda forgot...
Yep
@Panthera Pardus Korriban is where the Sith originated, but once the Dark Side turned it into a wasteland, most of them moved to Ziost, leaving Korriban as a tomb world.
As for Dromund Kaas, that became the Sith homeworld after Emperor Vitiate rebuilt the Sith Empire after the Great Hyperspace War.
"They fly now?"
Says C3P0 who saw Clone troopers, Storm troopers and Storm troopers series X fly.
Says Poe who saw Storm troopers series X fly.
Says Finn who was a Storm trooper series X.
@Jack Of Hearts don´t forget: jango and boba fett had also jetpacks
Hell. Even R2-D2 could fly in the prequels. So why wouldn't people could also?
@Robert Fitzgerald hey! Alias is awesome! 😂
Calm down, it was just a joke.
Like when somebody pees on you and tells you it's raining, except less funny.
so you telling me..
That anakin became Vader to save padme by learning how to bring people back to life, and Rey has mastered this skill without even knowing it exists? was it that easy?
Damn Disney
@Manz And? Anakin was literally CONCEIVED by the Force. He's Force Jesus.
If Force Healing actually existed, he'd have learnt it quite quick.
I mean he also became Vader bc he hated how self-destructive the republic and Jedi had become, at least, to him
But yea, ain’t that just the definition of “we gave up”
@I loathe people who're still talking after I say hi it was a power in legends. It could be used in the knights of the old republic game
Oof noises
The best way I could describe this plot: "pinball machine". Bouncing around from one thing to the other, not really accomplishing anything, but making a shit-ton of noise and flashiness along the way
Well said.
My girl and I tried watching this for the first time on Disney+. We never finished it. We got to the scene with the dagger map and gave up and, admittedly, we couldn't even stand to watch it in longer than 15 minute intervals up to that point either. We were both Star Wars fans from childhood but these movies have made us lose all interest in the franchise.
"But then Rey goes for a walk! And Chewie goes after her, but then he gets captured because hes and idiot now I guess." Had me dying. 🤣
I watched a review where they actually praised this movie. Among other praises one stuck in my mind, they seemed to be very impressed that the scene with the party was depicted as only being held every 42 years or something as if it was some brilliant piece of writing to shoehorn in a random party that only happens every 42 years and that its also been 42 years since A New Hope 😂😂😂
Could have also been a nod to the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy with 42 being the answer to all things.
To be fair to the Holiday Special, at least it set up a truly horrifying moment in the novel "Death Troopers", where Chewbaca hallucinates eating his child with his family.
Think about this -
Anakin's entire fall to the dark side was because of his inability to stop his loved ones from dying. As he said, he could do nothing to save his mother in episode 2. Then he had visions of Padme's death in Episode 3, thus his obsession to save her grew so much that he turned to the dark side to try to learn how to save her.
THE ENTIRE PREQUELS AND ANAKIN'S TRAGIC STORY WAS BECAUSE HE COULDN'T SAVE THE ONES HE LOVED FROM DYING!
In Rise of Skywalker, Rey saves Ben from dying by touching him and then Ben just resurrects Rey from death by lightly touching her stomach for 5 seconds...
FU*K DISNEY STAR WARS.
Force Dyad, duh…
At least Korra gets poisoned and paralysed in later volumes... Rey never gets brought low at all.
Don't forget, she accidentally kills Chewy in, oh I don't care enough to know which one it was, but it's fine because he was on a different spaceship because Rey can do no wrong.
@Striker Frost obviously, CURE3 is not available for black wizard.
The half explained reason for Palpatine being back is cloning : "Dark secrets only the Sith knew about". i guess the entire prequels aren't canon anymore
also the kaminosians weren´t even the only ones to know how to clone... they boasted the BEST clones, meaning there are others out there that know how to
They did not only clone Palpatine, they also managed to build 30 Star Destroyers with complete crew compliments without anyone noticing.
@Jeff Engert the timothy trilogy did it as well, and it was the best books ive read tho
The cloning bit was done in Legends as well. And it was shit then too.
@F.-X. Cardin guess it was easier for them to take Capcom's "who gives a shit!" approach to the story than it was for them to can the sequel trilogy entirely after Last Jedi torpedoed Farce Awaken's flimsy narrative and start from scratch with people who actually knew what the hell they're doing.
Would've taken longer but it'd have been preferable to the lowest common denominator storyline we got as closure to the forty years of storytelling and world building the Skywalker saga has under its belt
The movie is a visual masterpiece. However it is so forgettable and shallow as a story, it isn't worth watching a second time.
I created a drinking game for the times that the camera zooms in on Rey with no dialogue. I was plastered in 20 minutes
What other lies can you come up with?
"Writing is hard, isn't it, JJ?" 😅
@Jeremy Allen gotcha. At least we both can agree that this sequel trilogy was an absolute waste of potential
@Kaizer Sozay I'm not emotional, I'm annoyed. There's a difference, y'know.
@Jeremy Allen no need to get all emotional about it 😒
@Kaizer Sozay "pointless"? You're the one that's pissing into the wind
@Jeremy Allen pointless comparison
I couldn't stand this film, and having seen it only once, even my honed mind couldn't quite wrap around all of the things that were so wrong with it. Thank you for giving all of my confused and angry thoughts a more lucid and thought out presentation!
Honestly. I watched it one, fell asleep halfway through, woke up in time to see the ending, and never had any interest in watching it again. My brain was numb to this trilogy before the Rise of Skywalker had come out..
Stood in line as a kid, waiting in the rain to get a ticket to the first Star Wars movie. The next batch of movie chapters built upon it very well. I even enjoyed the Rogue One & Solo branches. Nothing is perfect (yes Jar Jar was dam irritating, however he made me laugh. He was 'that guy' somebody always brings to the party to love or hate) but they still added to a great story with expected continuity.
Then came the final 2 shows that not only shit every bed that Hilton has to offer, but did it despite the fact they actually had to go out of their way to sewer the once traditional storyline and spit on every character that had earned their time tested golden right to stand tall and not be simply displaced by a new wave of magically entitled upstarts. Those new actors should really be embarrassed. Can't wait to see them pushed out of their own much dimmer spotlight and enjoy feeling ripped off by the babies of their future.
A couple of 'Spaceballs' sequels would have fit better. But JJ wouldn't know much about 'balls' ...
I can relate to that. I was 8 years old when it came out. People who waiting in line with me, were People who actually just got out of the theater and wanted to see it for the second or third time. Not all but alot of them. People went crazy with that movie. When ESB came out, it was even worse and the cinema were I was living at the time had a special run when you could see ANH and ESB for the same price, shortly after the second came out, maybe 3 or 4 weeks after. There was People who waited for that special projection. RoJ was the same thing. It was an amazing time for movies, then terminator and robocop came out, the goonies.. and they did little publicity except for the posters, so imagine something as creative and original come out today, with all the social media and people who would talk about them movies. People would need to wait for DAYS on the opening night and few weeks later. I wish the younger People could experience something like this, not with only one movie but exactly what we had, 6 or 7years straight of amazing movies like we had the chance to see when they came out.
Wait, so Palpatine had Snoke create a planet-sized super weapon... to hide the fact that he was building a big fleet of ships?
HOW COULD HE AFFORD ANY OF THIS?
I feel like Palpatine's true power was just that he had... all the money, literally ALL the money in the galaxy.
He did have control over the banks in the Clone Wars....
Are you suggesting that Palapatine is really Jeff Bazos? I'm not even shocked!
Where did they get all the manpower to even pilot all them?? How can all those ppl keep their mouth shut
I’m a year late and a dollar short but here’s my two cents.
What if the signal that was being sent out in the beginning of the movie was not a radio broadcast but a message intercepted by rebel spies. The message was calling for all first order personnel to return to the Sith home world. So the rebels need to chase first order ships and follow them to the Sith home world. Boom it rhymes with the second movie. You could even have one of the first order ships sacrifice itself to destroy half the rebel fleet just like in TLJ.
My biggest issue with this is the countless fan theories that the empire was right/good and that the rebels (OGT) were basically political terrorists. The imperial fleet, under this assumption, basically served as cops/coast guard for interplanetary trade, protecting against smugglers and pirates and enforcing laws (like outlawing the rampant slavery in the outer rim). JJ and the sequal trilogy retcon all of this for cartoonishly evil villians with no real motivation.
Worse, they suddenly have bigger and better stuff than the empire, despite the power struggle and fracturing that would naturally occur after a regime collapses. It's terrible, just terrible. It's not historically influenced, it doesn't say anything socially or politically, the story isn't captivating or memorable. They had so much to work with, but this is what we got.
Before Disney got there hands on it they actually “flew now” roughly 3500 years ago because the the mandalorians during the old republic even had jet pack technology
Honestly, the very moment I've learned that it will be a sequel trilogy instead of a completely new one, I pretty much knew it would be shit.
The thing is, the original six films were done; they had a beginning, middle, and and VERY satisfying end, and making any direct sequel on them is butchering by definition.
If Disney actually cared about art, they'd start a new saga AND KEEP PALPATINE DEAD!
@Samuel Allard Can you imagine the Zahn trilogy brought to the big screen by people who know and care about the franchise and its incredible EU stories and characters?! That would have been the most incredible thing - instead we get the entire EU, decades of work by dozens of people, jossed for no good reason and all this crap instead. It's a travesty!
Should've gone with thrawn!!! The books are there!!!
You can literally put SNOKE as the main villain, yet he dies in 1 movie, and we don't even get to see alot of him
Lucas had plans for a sequel trilogy that actually sounded really interesting.
the timothy zahn sequel is perfect tbh but ofc they dont want to make something george approved yk
If Disney had any sense, they should have scrapped the live-action sequel trilogy after discount A New Hope and instead used the excellent staff of The Clone Wars to create an extensive animated TV and film series out of the Extended Universe.
I was crying throughout this review - snot was bubbling out of my nose (especially when Rey was on screen), tears was falling like a river out of my eye sockets and a mixture of vomit and saliva mixed in an appetizing puddle in my mouth. When it was finished, I had one thought in my head: "I'm sure happy that I didn't spend a dime & time on that trilogy"! Then swallowed the aforementioned puddle and got ready for part two.
Due to the drinking challenge you proposed at the beginning of the video, I had to split my viewing of this video into three sessions spread across three weekends. My friends weren’t impressed with me getting shitfaced three weeks in a row and drunk dialing all of them countless times, but it was worth it for the review!
Well, the parts of it that I remember, at least.
This movie felt like a fever dream. The story telling and pacing reminded me of when a kid tells you a story and keeps saying "And then, And then, And then"
Dude... even Axe Cop had a better plot. That actually was written by a 5 year old.
My nephew does that all the time it's it's adorable... not so much so when I have to deal with it inside of a movie franchise I expect so much more from but really shouldn't have after it was sold to a company that canceled one of the only promising looking games it had basically the second it bought it and hired someone I still think had no business having anything to do with it
Cocaine is a helluva drug...
Aaron Doutt you NAILED it! Exactly what I thought right after watching this movie.
Just can’t believe this whole trilogy occurred over the course of like a year since the first 2 movies were literally back to back occurring over the course of a weekend basically
Original Trilogy - Beautiful, masterful, unique story telling based on past movie tropes
Prequel Trilogy - A decent, dark, origin story to how the originals came to be
Sequel Trilogy - kid friendly garbage with absolutely no substance and no care for past characters
I really hope Disney learns from this mistake and avoids it in case they decide to do another trilogy, which I know they will because $$$.
@Dot I've always had love for the Phantom Menace; almost a closeted lover of it back when it was cool to hate on the prequels.
AOTC I understand the criticisms but still find it enjoyable overall.
@The Film Watcher The first two movies have a ton of flaws but I wouldn’t consider them terrible, if anything they are just ok.
Except what you describe the prequels to be is basically only what Revenge of the Sith was, because The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked and are basically just kids’ movies now.
"... my plot analysis..." You have my respect for being able to find anything worth the title "plot".
Ray: *pulls a Imperial Transport ship back to the ground*
Me: "Starkiller did it better!"
That's because Starkiller...UNLEASHED...the Force. Twice!
@amish rambo yep... Starkiller sold that move so much better.
@Jeff Engert "reach out with the force and clip that destroyer!" at the very least that scene looked like a massive strain on Starkiller
Pulling an entire Star Destroyer to the ground was so epic.
He really did
I remember being the odd man out saying Force Awakens was really mediocre but every one was so head over heels with it and now people are calling out trilogy completely.
Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.
Clever Girl.
I can't comment on TFA, because I still haven't watched it. Nearly all of my interest in Star Wars evaporated the second I heard that they were dumping the EU, but I still didn't know that the sequels would be THIS BAD.
The same.
FYI, force healing has been around for a long time too but its supposed to be incredibly rare AND extremely difficult...so of course Rey can just do it now.
@meme meme very cool
Completely different.
Legends Force Healing could only heal very minor, superficial injuries. If someone cuts your arm off, that arm isn't coming back. And you couldn't save someone from certain death.
The power that Anakin seeks during the Prequels and Rey/Kylo use, Midichlorian manipulation, was an extremely complex Dark Side power only mastered by Plagueis & Sidious. That power allows Midichlorians, cells that essentially act as Force transmitters, to be birthed from thin air and used to prolong life, revive the dead, and kill from far away.
@Legion lol but the Disney trilogy is?
@Orange123 The problem with Rey being Palpatine's granddaughter was tossed in at the last minute, there was no actual plan or indication that from the force awakens and the last Jedi that show Rey being a descendant of Palpatine. the problem with Rey using force healing is that she has the same amount of training as Luke in ROTJ and much less training than Anakin in Revenge of the Sith. But Luke wasn't able to heal Anakin as he was dying and Anakin wasn't able to heal and save Padme. Obi wan wasn't able to heal qui gon jinn either. Luke and Anakin also had flat out losses unlike Rey. You mentioned Rey's struggles with the dark side, so we'll go that route. Anakin made mistakes that were permanent, for example when his mother was killed by the Tusken raiders, he proceeded to slaughter an entire village. Anakin also murdered a group of younglings at the Jedi temple and his evil actions led to Padme's death since she lost the will to live. Rey "killing" Chewbacca and nearly killing Kylo are not the same since she manages to heal Kylo and Chewbacca was alive right after the force lightning scene in Rise of Skywalker taking away any changes for Rey to overcome any internal struggle.
Thank you so much for clearly articulating what I felt so strongly. You are brilliant!
Palpatine waited 14 hours so he could have some quality alone time with his snoke dolls
I found the “ thirteen year old with ADHD” thing hilarious, cause I have ADHD and when I was thirteen I wrote a book, and it was better than this movie.
The most fun I had with this movie was seeing it in theaters with my brother and his dudes and cracking jokes at how bad it was. We were basically the only ones there in Januaryish and I'm pretty sure the few other people there were cracking up too.
When I first saw this I actually didn't have any suspicions on who the spy was.
I figured it was either a new character they were going to introduce, or it would be someone I had seen before but couldn't care less.
When Disney's Hercules has better character development than 90% of Hollywood's big budget films 23 yrs later.
Jerkules...
That movie was fucking phenomenal anyways I loved it and continue to love it too this day.
I wonder how, with all the budget they have, they just can't hire a competent writer and instead rely on visuals and action scenes. Is their public that dumb ?! Why do Hollywood studios insist on making this instead of the fine art that made them become the film staple a few decades ago ?
@yar yar that's a great animation with wonderful and unique characters that still relatively stuck to an accurate and well made Greek Mythology, it was fun and entertaining and you learnt stuff.
It's Infinitely better compared to the sequel Trilogy.
I only saw this movie 1 time in theater the week it came out. It's even more convoluted and contrived than I remembered.
That scream from Event Horizon never gets old haha. As for the criticism, I think you covered it so well that all I can say is nice job, man! One thing I will say, however, is that I get all kinds of writing inspiration and little technical reminders watching your vids, so I must express my gratitude as well. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep standing up for testosterone in literature!
I remember watching 'Super 8' and being shocked that the dialogue/behavior of the adults was as child-like as that of the young children. I thought then that J.J wasn't very good at film-making and that he was probably a very bright geek who had not done a lot of adult things in his life. Immense enthusiasm isn't a skill and one gets the impression that is all J.J really has.
You created yourself a lovely stage persona with this. Really good and refreshing. The issues you’re discussing I have been pointing out for decades already, as countless others did too👍.
About time someone with a bit of a wider reach took out the virtual megaphone :)👍
What I hate about the new trilogy, especially "The Rise of.." amongst many other things is that it completely makes the bravery of Luke and the sacrifice of Vader at the end of "The Return of the Jedi" null and void. Basically Luke didn't bring back the Jedi, because his nephew turned evil anyway, destroyed his temple, killed his students. Vader died in vain and his sacrifice didn't mean anything because the galaxy ended up evil anyway and look, even Palpatine survived...somehow. I think even the Holiday Special wasn't this insane. There, I said it! "The Force Awakens" had potential and it was fun but Disney proved very quickly that they are only capable of making remakes, but anything original is beyond them. Oh, wait, the Mulan remake happened. I take back what I said. Even good remakes are beyond Disney.
You do realise all the EU/legends media set after ROTJ had already done that though, right?
"Disney is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since the Holiday Special", that was gold LOL.
Funny how he didn't mention prequels because prequels were somewhat enjoyable and more memorable
Yeah! No kidding. It was my generation's Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring moment.
Actually Rebels, Rogue One, Solo (it was fun and entertaining if nothing else and how Han met Chewie and young Lando were fun), The Force Awakens (despite being hopelessly derivative) and Jedi: Fallen Order as well as The Mandalorian were all fantastic. Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker kinda suck balls tho.
@Zets' Tube It's not that bad yes they are inconsistent especially last Jedi to rise of Skywalker. I would say the prequels are better but count Dooku suffered from lack of scene time, maul died after 5 seconds and general grievous was a coward. Palpatine was done well in fact I think he was a great manipulative person and father figure to anakin. Rey's conflict makes no sense sense it turns out her parents weren't bad parents they just sacrificed themselves for her even though kylo Ren explained in the last movie they were filthy drunk traders who sold her for drinking money. I don't like last Jedi but Rey being a nobody was actually a really good idea that means no one's has to be related to someone else
My friends called me crazy when I assumed that Star Wars would be fucked by Disney, those same friends are now crying about what happened to Star Wars.
I always found it funny how Palpatine told Kylo to “kill the girl” constantly in the beginning and middle and at the end he was like “I needed you alive and to come here all along”. Ughhh!!!
"As film-makers, as writers, we had no interest whatsoever in putting our jack, our baggage into these movies. We just thought we should take what Tolken cared about, clearly, and put those into the film." - Peter Jackson: Film Writer, Screenwriter and Producer of 'The Lord of the Rings' Trilogy
Legions upon legions are glaring at you, D&D and Disney fucks.
But Jackson failed at that noble goal. He had all sorts of baggage in the movies. But at least I guess he sorta had that goal.....
I paid an overpriced ticket after a 7 hour shift at work to see this film with my best mate - who is a massive Star Wars fan.
He is the only reason I didn't walk out within the first hour.
The emperor using a sith fleet to attack the republic as a diversion while building a secret massive fleet in unknown space?
THEY JUST USED THE PLOT OF THE OLD REPUBLIC!!
Dark Empire comic from Legends, even more so.
Wow! That’s so original
The movie is the embodiment of 1 upping your sibling as you two are playing a pretend game where nothing makes chronological sense and everything just gets bigger because bigger = cool + climactic of course.
@Martin Major YES! Exactly! The "and then's"
Yeah I can totally see 2 kids going on "and then, and then, and then " non stop
I cheered....... when Rey died
I laughed.......when Kylo brought her back to life
I cried...........when my PC rebooted half way through the film
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
most people didnt get the joke: you pirated the film.
@Phil Ingrouille I don’t like to brag usually, but after Force Awakens I had a really bad feeling about what was to come and didn’t bother with Last Jedi or Rise of Shit and I’m so glad I saved an accumulated 5 hours of depression at seeing my favorite universe go down the drain
Dont cry Little one... The Pc was using the force to shut itself down so you wouldent have to suffer the rest of the movie...
Be grateful for the computer's sacrifice!
Insert Palpatine laugh. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My favorite thing about this youtuber is that you can understand him even when the video is at 2x speed, and he sounds hilarious at x0.25.
I can't remember what star wars had kylo first, but we have now tried to watch it with my son at least 3 times and every time we have either fallen asleep or just stopped and started doing something else.. Those who did it should feel very proud of their achievement, as it now belongs to a very narrow category of "movies too crappy to watch even to the end".
Chewie's death could have been quite impactful. Rey could have had some significant character development, facing the fact that her undisciplined emotions brought her to the dark side and led to her killing him. A humbling failure that sets the hero back, yet also plants the seeds for growth. But Chewbacca figures are one of the few Star Wars toys that actually sell, so Disney couldn't have that.
I've watched this nearly 10 times and I love it every time.
"writing is hard isn't it JJ"🤣🤣🤣😂 "oh yes, I can definitely smell shite"
I'm gonna tell my kids that these were sequels to Spaceballs
Literally the best KZclip comment I've ever seen!
No you do not get to ruin spaceballs. Spaceballs had a way better story then the sequels.
I'm going to say they were amateur films. I can't call them fan films.
Tell em they’re horror movies (or comedies lol)
Lololololol. .... thanks for that laugh
Maz sort of reminds me of the doctor in Andor, the one that was tasked to heal their teammate that got crushed by the crates lol.
That surgeon looked JUST like her in the face.
“Nahhh, it’ll be fine” is the equivalent of “super easy, barely an inconvenience” on Pitch Meeting
Another outstanding review! I remember reading how JJ Abrams was interviewing writers for the upcoming TV show to be …Lost , and Damon Lindelöf walked in with a Star Wars T-shirt and they hit it off from that point on because of their common love for the original Star Wars and proceeded to walk us down the garden path for six years right up into one of the worst endings of any TV show that I’ve ever watched, leaving countless number of plot lines, unexplained and stating for six years “ don’t worry it’s not gonna be ended with they were all really dead all along“.… Until at the end of six seasons, they reveal well they were really dead for the last year! It’s no wonder that together they’ve destroyed. what was beautiful about the original trilogy.
It's just a small thing but while sparring with Leia in the flashback scene, Luke was probably a Jedi Master at this point, or at least very close to it. This is Luke in his prime and yet he still loses the fight to a female.
Palpatine: You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me.
👆👆👆🎁🎁🎁🎁
Palpatine is now deader than before, but he'll be fine.
🤣🤣🤣
"Tis but a flesh wound"
May Allahu have mercy on his soul
Of course he's fine. He crawled under the dumpster in the last second.
I hAvE dIeD mAnY tImEs
Excellent scripting m8! Love your work. Haven't watched Star Wars, only your analyses.
I have come here to declare that this film is one of the best comedies i've seen in recent history.
Then on top of that, the moment when chewie lewie blew up i was in complete hysterics for the rest of the day.
Somewhere around an hour and a half in my wife leaned over and asked me to clarify what was going on and I whispered "they're looking for a guy who can reset C3PO so that he can decipher the writing on the knife so that they can find the location to the planet where they can find the way finder so they can find the way to get to the planet where they can find Palpatine".. She just kind of looked at me for a moment and I said " yeah, its fucking stupid" and swear to god the guy who was sitting next to us that I didn't know from Adam said "real fucking stupid".. and we just laughed cause we didn't think it could get any worse.
And then we got to the part where all the First/Final Order or Whatever ships all needed to be linked to a central beacon tower so they could get out of the atmosphere, which is just going fucking up, and we just lost it. Another couple in front of us turned around and we all sat through the last 10 minutes of the big battle laughing our asses off about how fucking stupid thks was that the ships couldn't go up without a beacon, that they at one point transferred to one of the ships so the other ships could follow that one up, but how that one knew which way was up, I don't fucking know.. Unless they just looked out of the window, saw the ground, and then just went the other way.. But apparently JJ didn't think of that one. 🖕🖕🖕 Fuck Off Film!!
(And those thousand hours of EFAP are fucking gold by the by)
Anakin made C3PO and his main thing that he always says he can do.... fluently speak over 6,000,000 forms of communication yet every time he encounters a new language in the film he is unable to translate it. Even happens in the novels as well.
I love Rey's acting... its like a confused stage play where any emotion is portrayed by a face gurning sweaty pause followed by a softly spoken fu*k you
How is it possible that 30 minutes of "The Mandalorian" are more interesting and fun than almost 8 hours of the sequel trilogy???
I don't know what Kathleen Kennedy thinks but under normal circumstances she must hate the success of "The Mandalorian"! But i think she would never admit that in public! George Lucas was a couple of times on the set of The Mandalorian! So he seems to care and like the show! Jon Favreau admitted that he took a lot of George Lucas' ideas and used them in "The Mandalorian"! I bet KK was pissed about that...!
@Talia Mason rebels isnt bad. Resistance is pretty shit
@Curadhan Powell TV Showd can become grand scale. Just look at Game of Thrones for example.
If Mandalorian continues to deliver and gets more seasons, people will eventually take a liking to it.
And good stories that LAST A LONG TIME (if they’re good)...
@Curadhan Powell
What ?
_One Piece_ ?
_Dragon Ball Z_ ?
_Hunter Hunter_ ?
_Code Geass_ ?
_Game Of Thrones_ ?
_Death Note_ ?
_Naruto_ ?
_Avatar : The Last Airbender_ ?
The accepted excuse of “it consists of dozens of hours of vidual and audio content, and you can watch them in batches over the course of days/weeks in total” makes room for a LOT of characterization; for you to grow with the characters and become a person of soe kind DUE TO these people; long stories that are interesting if they’re not stale (for you at least); etc...
the clip of peter dinklage puking out of no where caught me so off guard that I started laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and kept laughing while I was on the ground.
So the unknown regions were first talked about in kotor, way back in the day, these regions were areas that were not properly scouted for hyperspace lanes, trying to navigate and setup these routes is incredibly difficult and costs tons of resources as you are basically throwing darts into s void and hoping to hit a bullseye
To be fair to the sequel trilogy, the Unknown Regions was a large part of the galaxy even in the legenda canon. One of the reasons its unknown is because safe hyperspace routes are few and far in between, and its populated by hostile or unfriendly races like the Chiss. The Old Republic was also disinclined to explore the region as well.
saw Return of the Jedi when it came out in theaters --that experience is I think extremely difficult replicate --really like your videos
I've always interpreted Yoda's statements from #1 as Sith coming in pairs. "Always two there are, a master and his apprentice." It seems a lot of fans and ex-canon works interpreted that to mean there are only ever two, which is dumb. Either the Sith are exponentially more powerful than Jedi (balance to the force, being that there were literally dozens of Jedi in #1), or Anakin is so insanely powerful that he was basically prophesied to fall to the darkness from the beginning. Regardless, this is a dumb interpretation. Why wouldn't there be more Sith? Maybe there were, and previous generations of battle left their numbers decimated? Again, the Jedi would have had the upper hand in terms of numbers and influence. What did they think the "balance" that Anakin brought could mean? Jedi are dumb.
They have found that dagger within first hour on that planet, while luke and lando have been looking it for decades... that's bullshit.
@EvilMoW It's amazing how much a d3 decent sentences can fix so much. Hell, imagine if someone had said that the Holdo Maneuver only worked *because* of the Hyperspace Tracking Device instead of that "one in a million" garbage.
Suddenly, her plan *actually* makes sense *without* breaking established world mechanics and coming off like an asspull. Also throw in a line to Leia how she's glad it turned out she truly can trust Finn and/or Poe to help carry on what the Resistance/Rebellion started, and suddenly Holdo's a decent character.
Luke's even easier to fix. When he's about to burn down the Jedi tree with the sacred texts, just have Yoda tell him that Rey's already taken them and left, so Luke can stop the act. Then one of them says something about how Rey won't repeat the mistakes they made now.
Suddenly, all that behavior from Luke goes from "worthless bitter old man" to "mentor trying to push a student to find their own way" which would actually fill in that missing "3rd lesson" that never happened. Plus we'd get an actual passing of the torch.
@EvilMoW Even that is flawed though. They went looking for a way finder only to get a knife that led to a wayfinder
@Normad Garmez Luke: maybe I should tell everyone about Exegol, so that someone could find it
So is the rest of the movie
@Velnoa amazing how Vader never told Luke about exegol or the sith fleet
To sum up this review very quickly, these new star wars films were so politically contrived and weighed down with political correctness for the unnecessary and irrelevant empowerment of women and racially diverse people, that the writers, producers and director totally forgot two fundamental elements of a good film; 1 acknowledge the fact that franchise fans will want to see any sequals being consistent with any prequels. 2 give the audience and the fans some respect for a modicum of intelligence and that they will want to be entertained and not annoyed and or board by the new film. Not difficult is it.
This Mila Jovovich laugh is killing me🤣🤣
14:05 - I was stunned in the theater when Kylo just got out of the wreck lmao. I couldn't believe it. The only thing dumber was Leia going full superman
Nah Leia floating through space was passable next to this
The Skywalker saga is like flying first class, then losing an engine midway through the flight and just when there's hope that you're gonna land safely, you violently crash land.
I LOVE Father Jack's commentary!!
SPOILER !!!!!!!!!!!
How did Palpateen survive? He got into a fridge in the Death Star.
The same fridge that saved Indy!!! True story.
Lucas did not wrote or give them any ideas, so the fridge is out of the question.
He died and came back to life.
Daniel Gooden
They kept that clone alive, didn't they? Miniaturization comes AFTER the groundbreaking discovery.
Daniel Gooden
Perhaps, but I'd rather have a villain go from Machiavellian mastermind to simply a badass, than get stuck with a whiny prick serving the Bananas in Pajamas' disfigured granddad.
Plus, Palpatine being behind Snoke does a good job more or less explaining how Palpatine came back. Nice little spin on the Palpatine clones without directly lifting it from the EU.
Part 1?! Woah boy, I better bust out the popcorn and savor this.
This is way better than watching the movie
This movie`s storyline felt like quests from videogames, go there find that, go there find that and go there destroy that. Good job!
I would’ve love for them to give Rey a Scottish accent just to deliver that line “That’s ma wookie!”
To be fair the "unknown regions" has always been a thing in the star wars lore since The Old Republic storylines.. Its where the emperor at the time was hybernating til Revan found him and was turned into a Sith.
When I was a kid, I loved Disney. It's heartbreaking to grow up and see them as a sterile, bland, corrupt company.
@Grzegorz Durda CLARKSOOOOOOOON!
Yep. I only like their Marvel stuff and that’s in-spite of Disney as it’s the Genius Feige
They are one of the most powerful, corrupt, psychopathic, dogmatic corporations in the world. Among Google, KZclip, Amazong, Starbucks, Netflix and a few more.
Every Idol will fail you except one.
I pretty much only care for their animated content from Snow White to most of the stuff up to Tangled. But the company in itself represents the absolute worst of evil super power corporations. Old Walt would be spinning in his damn grave.
I also need to point out that Rey can levidate herself and half a mountain at this point
So it quicksand should not really be a problem for her...
Its kind of an indication that they gave her so many arbitrary powers that they lost track what she can actually do...
Saw this movie the day it came out with my 3 kids, all of whom are big star wars fans. My daughter fell asleep within the first 45 minutes, my youngest son wanted to leave after an hour and only my oldest wanted to stay to finish it since we already paid.... So we stayed, finished it, and was disappointed the whole way through.