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Prometheus - The Franchise Killer


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  • The Critical Drinker
    The Critical Drinker  3 жыл бұрын +740

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    • W B
      W B Ай бұрын

      @Leighton Summerville I agree with you. I enjoyed the movie. I thought Alien: Covenant was the weakest film in the series. It was such a letdown.

    • W B
      W B 3 ай бұрын

      I love this movie.

  • That guy with the face
    That guy with the face  Жыл бұрын +5209

    My favorite part of the movie is that the cartographer is the first to get lost, the biologist is the one that wants to touch an alien life form with no protective gear, testing or study and the leader refuses to lead.
    Absolutely beautiful.

    • Ben McSwain
      Ben McSwain Ай бұрын

      @ShuRugal Oorus lol yeah, that’s it. As if it were any better before that. This is just another statistically insignificant event in an ocean of shit product from Hollywood.

    • AshenHaze
      AshenHaze Ай бұрын

      If you're a biologist that wouldn't hop on the opportunity to analyze a completely new species, you're a boring biologist.
      If you're a cartographer that doesn't want to explore something new to chart out later, you're an unusual cartographer.
      If you're a leader who hops on any opportunity to command and order, then you're not a leader you're a boss.

    • jamie miller
      jamie miller Ай бұрын

      Mirrors our own perfectly.

    • Calgacus
      Calgacus Ай бұрын

      Superb, had me pissing myself laughing. Love it!

  • Fifi
    Fifi 10 ай бұрын +345

    I saw Prometheus just months after watching Alien for the first time and I was super thrilled, but it didn't last long after the film started. I remember watching the scientists walking in a cave on an unknown planet with no helmets, touching stuff like kids and even playing with alien snakes and thinking "WTF??". At that time I was 15 and pretty dumb, but not SO dumb not to understand how nonsense that was

    • Athanasia S.
      Athanasia S. 6 күн бұрын

      The only reason why I watched the whole thing was because of Michael Fassbender's performance. Say what you will about the movie but his acting was great

    • Dan Nuttle
      Dan Nuttle Ай бұрын

      I first saw Alien when I was 18...in 1979, when it was released. It had, and still has, an enormous impact on me. I was thrilled by Aliens in 1986, even though it was a radically different kind of movie. So I was very motivated to like Prometheus. The trailers were intriguing, and the movie offers some serious eye candy. But I remember exactly when I knew this movie was a stupid waste of time. It was the line, "N-n-n-n-n-no, it's Christmas and I want to open my presents." The growing sense that something was very off about this movie leaped out and became a conviction that this was one of the stupidest movies ever made. Plan 9 from Outer Space makes more sense.

    • hotdog
      hotdog Ай бұрын +1

      @Mike to sum it up the people responsible for the expedition could have made a better job picking some of the crew. this doesn`t mean the crew members behaviour is unrealistic

    • hotdog
      hotdog Ай бұрын

      its human nature also to make a less then ideal decision in order to impress a friend or colleague

    • hotdog
      hotdog Ай бұрын

      @Mike biologists and dedicated zoo employees behave like that often. we only tend to hear about it when it goes sideways

  • Brian Brock
    Brian Brock 8 ай бұрын +272

    Yeah, the biologist immediately wanting to "pet" the completely undiscovered alien creature is...the defining point of no return in this movie.


      Was gonna say the helmets coming off was hard enough but then when He stroked the snake ffs

    • Dan Nuttle
      Dan Nuttle Ай бұрын +2

      I think it happened before that. The head "scientist" deciding he's going to remove his helmet, over the stident warnings of others. Then they shrug and do the same thing.

    • work horse
      work horse 2 ай бұрын +1

      Don't ever go full ret....

    • hotdog
      hotdog 3 ай бұрын +1

      almost like stupidity is not a common human trait

  • CatDadThings
    CatDadThings 7 ай бұрын +244

    “But it all goes wrong and they both lay down for a while”
    That one had me rolling 😂

  • Zara Bari
    Zara Bari 10 ай бұрын +51

    This movie goes from normal horror film "idiots in space" to "what the hell is even going on" in nothing flat. From that perspective, it is, in fact, a stunning piece of cinema. I don't think I've ever gone from "I hope one of these idiots finds an egg to stick his face in" to "wait wut" so fast in a movie.

    • Altaira55
      Altaira55 6 ай бұрын +8

      'Idiots in Space' is a perfect and succinct summing up of the movie plot, well done...

  • Simon Frost
    Simon Frost 6 ай бұрын +77

    Michael Fassbenders' creepy performance as David is the best thing - perhaps the only redeeming feature - about this whole film.
    After seeing Idris Elba sleep walk through Pacific Rim recently as well, I'm beginning to think he just can't act for toffee. In every role I've seen him in, he just seems to be the same?

    • PaulDavidArtistClub
      PaulDavidArtistClub Ай бұрын

      @Martin Major indeed.

    • Martin Major
      Martin Major Ай бұрын +1

      @PaulDavidArtistClub You mean when actors care about the movie goers? Yes it would be a good thing

    • PaulDavidArtistClub
      PaulDavidArtistClub Ай бұрын +3

      @geroutathat possibly. Personally, and I know I’m in the minority in threads like this, but I wish most good actors would stop appearing in action/superhero/fantasy projects. I mean Gene Hackman had a crisis of confidence and almost quit the business just for doing Superman (which turned out to be a much better film than 95% of modern superhero projects)…can we get back to that old attitude again Hollywood?

    • geroutathat
      geroutathat Ай бұрын +5

      Apparently idris hates green screens. They had plans for a marvel film with him spin off from thor, but pretty quick on they figured it could never work. He moans non stop, he refuses to do stuff, he hates it. Im guessing if you look for his bad performances its in cgi stuff, and if you find his best scenes they are in real world real human experience scenes. There is a chance he has no imagination (in a visual way) and simply struggles imagining when they say "Ok there is an alien behind you".

  • Nick Swanson
    Nick Swanson 2 жыл бұрын +5706

    Legit feels like I'm being explained the plot by a guy at the end of the bar. Well done.

    • Red Pill Freedom
      Red Pill Freedom 3 күн бұрын

      Which isn't a far cry from what it feels like watching this movie.

    • Shay Graham
      Shay Graham 2 ай бұрын


    • Al Kohallick
      Al Kohallick 5 ай бұрын +1

      Does it "legit"??

    • Echo Sierra
      Echo Sierra 6 ай бұрын

      That’s the idea. To make feel like we’re in a comfortable and familiar place

    • Kent Hefele
      Kent Hefele 6 ай бұрын

      That’s his style. And it works perfectly.

  • Ab5olut3 ZERO
    Ab5olut3 ZERO 10 ай бұрын +20

    My biggest complaint with the Alien films in general, is that they cannot nail down the timeline from infection to full-grown Xeno. In Alien, from infection to burster is implied to be no less than 12 hours, but as long as 48. They spend a lot of time doing lots of other things, specifically the timeline of repairs- at least 24 hours IIRC Parker’s line correctly. From burster to full Xeno is implied to be at least hours, as they wrap Kane’s body, have a funeral, secure equipment, develop and fabricate the motion tracker, and begin their hunt. Aliens doesn’t really deal with this. Alien 3 shows it taking days- at least 3- for Ripley to even begin to feel the burster move. In Resurrection, Purvis or whatever the nutjob’s name is, walks around the ship with them for several hours after his release from stasis and the release of the Xenos, only to conveniently birth his burster at the most opportune moment. AVP seems to imply the infected burst at most an hour or two after infection, with the Xenos reaching full maturity in minutes. The less said about Prometheus, the better. Covenant shows a character who is merely TOUCHED by a facehugger to be impregnated in seconds- check it. Look at the timestamp in the film. Hugger grabs him, he writhes, and it is cut off- it never even gets a solid grip, and he is screaming the whole time- impossible to scream with something down your throat. He goes from infected to burster in a couple hours, while the replacement captain goes from hugged to burst in minutes, with a fully-developed Xeno-nymph. Why is this so hard to keep consistent on screen? Yeah, I understand cuts and not showing passage of real-time, but that’s not an explanantion.

    ADAM WAITE 5 ай бұрын +6

    If you really want to be heartbroken, read the original Prometheus (concept) script. It actually read more like what we want to see, a scary science fiction alien horror movie that combines the best elements of Alien and Aliens. Before Hollywood got a hold of it and injected their sociological and political agenda.

  • Sgt. Bilko
    Sgt. Bilko 3 ай бұрын +112

    It's mind-boggling to think that this whole franchise began with two chicken feet attached to a beach ball in "Dark Star"

    • Sgt. Bilko
      Sgt. Bilko 2 ай бұрын +15

      @SeriousnessTV Yep. It was a subplot added to Carpenter's student film "Dark Star" (1974) to farce it out feature length so it could get a theatrical release.
      That subplot was deliberate absurdist humor. So maybe that's why when you don't have Giger's sets and creatures (Alien) or nonstop action (Aliens) to distract you, the absurdity of the franchise comes to the fore.

    • SeriousnessTV
      SeriousnessTV 2 ай бұрын +1

      Are you for real?

  • Me Doing Stuff
    Me Doing Stuff 8 ай бұрын +19

    The movie could have worked if it wasn’t trying to be a prequel to in the Alien franchise. Then the engineers and their world could be fully developed into a complete idea without asking how they would get to the alien world. Wayland could still be used. They could show that the company was exploring various space outlets.

  • pforce9
    pforce9 6 ай бұрын +5

    Dumbest part was when that infected guy showed up unannounced at the space ship and folded backwards and they were arguing whether to let him on the ship or not. to me it seemed like a no brainer.

  • kupaN9
    kupaN9 2 жыл бұрын +4532

    Prometheus was a master class in meta horror. Watching a character you have emotional investment in die leaves an impact, but watching a beloved childhood franchise die is a whole other level.

    • Al B Dough
      Al B Dough 27 күн бұрын

      I’ll never forgive Ridley Scott for this disaster for the same reasons I’ll never forgive George Lucas for the Phantom Menace.

    • Akix
      Akix Ай бұрын


    • DAY
      DAY 2 ай бұрын

      @bunies infernal Let me guess you didn't get, why the Cave and why wasn't there more aliens, go watch scream, lots of mindless killing in that movie and it starts right at the beginjng

    • Aldia, Scholar of the first sin
      Aldia, Scholar of the first sin 6 ай бұрын

      @Strange Man

  • vernon knapp
    vernon knapp Ай бұрын +6

    Did anyone else notice that the Prometheus just happened to approach the planet exactly, precisely where the engineers were? What are the chances of that?

  • wickedgravity101
    wickedgravity101 7 ай бұрын +204

    "Trying to pick apart this plot logically is like trying to find a gender studies graduate that weighs less than a metric ton"
    One of your best lines... EVER !!!

  • Deer Lord
    Deer Lord 2 ай бұрын +7

    The Engineer is hostile towards the humans because in the deleted scenes he tells them that they created humans, that they gave us Eden (Earth) and were proud of their creation, but eventually humans became violent and started killing each other for no reason, so they came back to Earth to save us, then they took one human child (Jesus) and taught him the meaning of life and creation so he could teach the rest of mankind, but the humans killed the kid instead.
    At that point the Engineers realized that that humans were inherently evil and violent and should be destroyed, so when David, Weyland and Shaw wake him up, he and the rest of the Engineers were already on their way to destroy Earth, but got infected before they could leave that planet and complete their mission. The others died and he put himself in cryogenic sleep because he was already infected with the xenomorph, so mankind was able to live for over 2000 more years.
    Back to when they wake him up and Weyland demands that the Engineer should give him eternal life, because he considers himself as a God, since he created David at his own image and perfection, the Engineer tells them that humans aren't worthy of eternal life and after seeing Weyland being violent towards David and Shaw, the Engineer gets furious and kills Weyland.
    Also, the incompetence of the crew is explained by Weyland's daughter, she tells the captain that she brought along a bunch of stupid people because she hated her dad and wanted to sabotage the mission.

  • MrChronicpayne
    MrChronicpayne 10 ай бұрын +20

    Really loved the Cinematography and atmosphere they had set for a lot of the movie. It just FELT right.
    But the bad dialogue and shaky plot do nothing to help lift this into hidden gem status, so its entertainment value remains a 'sparkle' in the eye of the beholder.

    • Attila Juhasz
      Attila Juhasz 5 ай бұрын +2

      Indeed, the cinematographer did an outstanding job scouting various planets but, in the end, the filmmakers settled on Scottish landscapes due to budget considerations.

  • Holden McGroin
    Holden McGroin 8 ай бұрын +8

    I came across some info a while back that makes the plot make more sense. In the original script, the giant that they woke up explained that they had sent a messenger back to Earth to try to correct humans on their lost ways. When this messenger was not only taken seriously, but murdered, the giants decided it was time to destroy the human race on Earth, but their weapon (the black goo) got out and killed the crew of the ship before they could go. That happened 2000 years earlier.

    • Sabir
      Sabir 15 күн бұрын

      Ah yes, the Jesus allegory

  • Michael Buick
    Michael Buick  Жыл бұрын +1861

    The part where the biologist tries to pet the snake is where I mentally checked out of this movie. I don't care how dumb or learning disabled you are, if you come face to face with a beefy hissing space cobra, your first instinct is not going to be to pet it.
    I can overlook plot contrivances or character decisions made for the sake of keeping things moving, but when they're not even acting like functional human beings that's just too big of an ask from the writers for me to buy into.

    • mufc
      mufc Ай бұрын

      It’s weird because they could easily have written it so that the snake attacked them without them aggravating it. They are trapped in the room, the snake appears first wriggling before the surface, they freak out when they see it and try and get out but the door is locked and it gets them. Much more scary and what would actually happen. Despite the flaws of the film I actually really enjoyed it for the visuals, tone, tension, score and the overall idea of the engineers, who they were, did they create us etc. it is weird that there is so much stuff that is either silly, makes no sense, creates more questions that don’t get answered. Even WEIRDER that covenant abandoned following up on most of the plot and just did a slasher film so we’ll never get answers to things that were set up. Very interesting to look back at retrospectively.

    • mike derasmo
      mike derasmo Ай бұрын

      Space COBRA ! lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • podunkest
      podunkest Ай бұрын +1

      @robicenco1 Agree. It's easier to rationalize in Aliens too as they were Marines and most likely weren't informed right from the beginning. Once the decision was made they were probably alerted and moved quickly and just do as they're told, no need to give them all the info before they went cuz I don't think they had a say in it either way lol. Also it's their job so they probably didn't care or need to know as it was probably just going to be another ho-hum job. Another day at the office, if you will.
      But you can also almost always rationalize it by saying they weren't told bc they were afraid people would back out too, but if that was the case a little explanation would go a long way.

    • robicenco1
      robicenco1 Ай бұрын +2

      @podunkest Ha ha, you're right. I guess it's an easy way for screenwriters to get a big chunk of exposition in at the start of the film. It doesn't have to be as extreme as in Prometheus though - at least in Aliens you could see they were a band of brothers (and sister) who knew each other well and had a rapport. In this movie it's like they all won a competition and weren't told anything until they got to the other side of the universe. Presumably at least some of them had families back home that they wouldn't just abandon forever...

    • Political Alien
      Political Alien Ай бұрын

      If you saw a space cobra, what would you do?

  • rob
    rob 3 ай бұрын +4

    I remember when I was 11 years old, trying to hold my tears in movie theater, while watching the first Aliens with my dad. Now I'm crying for the death of the franchise.

  • Darren Beattie
    Darren Beattie 9 ай бұрын +26

    In defence of David Fincher, the director’s cut he intended to release was 2 and a half hours long, and is genuinely on par with the first 2 films. Unfortunately the studio wanted it to be no longer than 2 hours so they could have more showings in a day and make more 💲💲💲, so they hacked it down to the 2 hour cut most people have seen. Basically I’m saying watch the Alien 3 director’s cut its sick

    • Michiel
      Michiel 3 ай бұрын +5

      not on par with the first 2 films tho. But def better than the theatrical cut

    • uNnHkP8mza
      uNnHkP8mza 4 ай бұрын +7

      Its okay, not great, but okay

  • Cyril
    Cyril 20 күн бұрын +2

    The funniest moments in that thing is when the captain, facing a post prod added 3D hologram detailed map with shining dots corresponding to his crew positions, is first asking in his communication : "where are you ?"

  • Ab Normaal
    Ab Normaal 4 ай бұрын +11

    What nobody ever talks about is the letter 'G' from Giger's name, in witch he designed the Alien ship. He was a true artist in that sense.

  • samter
    samter 8 күн бұрын +1

    Damn, this movie and Covenant made me think of how smart the leader in Sphere was when he told the crew he wasn't sure about the atmosphere so the masks needed to stay on. And ironically I think the air in the ship they were exploring was actually safe.

  • William Pitt
    William Pitt 2 жыл бұрын +1911

    "Where a giant squid makes violent one-side love to the bodybuilder"
    The best line.

    • wigglywrigglydoo
      wigglywrigglydoo 5 ай бұрын

      Sh...... you don't want to attract all the bodybuilders to the cinemas!

    • lola
      lola 8 ай бұрын +2

      I think Engineers made humans as a host for aliens from their own DNA so they don't have to sacrifice themselves to make an army of aliens to destroy other civilizations but the writer and director didn't know how to make that into a movie
      I really think Prometheus and covenant could've been a lot better if they hired better writers

    • StantheMan
      StantheMan  Жыл бұрын +1

      @Bob3D2000 Yeah, no doubt. Never spelled it that way in my life.

    • Bob3D2000
      Bob3D2000  Жыл бұрын +4

      @StantheMan Sorry, but I couldn't leave this. A ton is by definition imperial. If it's metric it's a tonne.

    • Piece of Schmidt Gamer
      Piece of Schmidt Gamer  Жыл бұрын +10

      @Comic Wingding It basically _is_ a hentai.

  • Paul Caple
    Paul Caple Ай бұрын +3

    That was so funny, I remember being bewildered by the ridiculous plot holes when I saw it at the cinema.

  • Average K
    Average K 3 ай бұрын +3

    The twist where it was revealed that the blond lady was Weyland’s daughter confused the hell out of me. The music swells when she says “father” and everything but I honestly had just assumed she was his daughter from the get go.

  • Jargo Bordine
    Jargo Bordine Ай бұрын +3

    I know bro. Worst part is that it coulda been super cool. The opening sequence was what I've wanted from a space sci-fi my entire adult life.

  • Theo Vaughn
    Theo Vaughn 6 ай бұрын +15

    Omg thank you for this breakdown. I thought I was too stupid to follow the plot, but turns out I understood it perfectly, but none of it makes any goddamned sense.

  • Unlisted
    Unlisted Ай бұрын +4

    That is the 20 best minutes I've spent on KZclip. Great job, my friend! Freaking hilarious!

  • Joseph Alcindor
    Joseph Alcindor  Жыл бұрын +1247

    “Idris Elba, who’s spends most of the movie looking like he doesn’t care or know why he’s here”
    THANK YOU, I genuinely was having a hard time wondering if his character was written like that or if he was lowkey pissed off at having to be apart of this movie

    • jimbobeire
      jimbobeire 5 ай бұрын

      Vandole There was nothing secret about the mission for Dallas. They were transporting a refinery between solar systems. The mission in Prometheus, as Weyland saw it, was possibly finding something that could grant him longer or eternal life... he didn't want anyone getting there before him, so the crew was hired by Vickers with no information given about the mission. Logically, that reduces the number of applicants because anybody competent will not sign up for a 'mystery mission', when they have other options where they can assess the risk versus the reward. That's why they got the bottom of the barrel crew, because the best of the best have _options_ .

    • Just a guy on YouTube
      Just a guy on YouTube  7 ай бұрын

      @Eric Potts
      Like many other actors like The Rock for example or Ryan Reynolds.
      But Eh, IMO he’s not a bad actor so as far as his track record goes, he’s been in a few good ones that say otherwise. So my guess is that he just wanted to do his own thing with the character much like how many actors or actresses do with how they want to see the character or how they see the character in their perspective, and because of how bad he knew the movie would already be, that would probably be all reason behind why he didn’t care unlike most movies he’s been in.
      But then again not the main blame since there’s also the producers, writers and director to blame for such and not just the actors and/or actresses involved, much like the director of Justice League for example or The Predator and Suicide Squad for more examples, directors who were aware of the very things we’d meme on and yet made the green light anyways.

    • Just a guy on YouTube
      Just a guy on YouTube  7 ай бұрын +1

      So he’s a bad character on purpose, gotcha.
      Doesn’t excuse how bad the rest of the movie is in terms of characters, story, lore and so on. Lmao

    • Jalen Ikezeue
      Jalen Ikezeue 7 ай бұрын

      Why did the Piece Of Junk Cyborg Do that To the Scientist Did he want to bring a alive lifeform Back to Earth for Studying Just like Burke Did

  • loz mac
    loz mac 2 ай бұрын +3

    I’d never watched alien before watching this like 10 years ago or whenever it came out and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then went back and watched alien and aliens which were even better. Then alien covenant came out and I basically feel how you felt when you posted this video :P

  • jay55also
    jay55also 9 ай бұрын +4

    A beautiful dissection with a dose of humor about this flick.

  • Occatus
    Occatus 9 ай бұрын +4

    This video pretty much sums up my frustrations with the Alien franchise. I didn’t want to have a director try to answer the mysteries of the first movie, and I sure as hell didn’t want him to make mystical, bald, albino space men be the creators of humanity. The unknown is what made the original compelling. The fact that I couldn’t understand what the hell I was looking at, and had no idea how the derelict ship worked or what its technology did is what made me think about it well after the movie ended. Those things are for fans to think about, not for the creators to answer.

  • Rick Moeller
    Rick Moeller 11 ай бұрын +9

    This one hurt... I loved theorizing where the aliens came from. Please for the love of God, don't ruin The Thing. 😭

  • Marshall Ross
    Marshall Ross 8 ай бұрын +2

    Great critique. Original movie left plenty to the imagination, which was part of its brilliance.

  • Escalating Barbarism
    Escalating Barbarism 3 жыл бұрын +9101

    When the cave scientist with cave-mapping robots got lost in that very uncomplicated cave, I lost faith in cinema as a medium.

    • Sloopy Doopy
      Sloopy Doopy 4 ай бұрын

      @DarkWing I know you typed this 3 years ago but its still a really stupid question that was already resolved

    • Anthony Planzo
      Anthony Planzo 7 ай бұрын

      @DarkWing because they showed the map of it

    • lola
      lola 8 ай бұрын

      I think Engineers made humans as a host for aliens from their own DNA so they don't have to sacrifice themselves to make an army of aliens to destroy other civilizations but the writer and director didn't know how to make that into a movie
      I really think Prometheus and covenant could've been a lot better if they hired better writers

  • Comrade Dyatlov
    Comrade Dyatlov Ай бұрын +1

    "Trying to pick apart this plot is like trying to find a gender-study graduate who weighs less than a metric ton" - This has to be the most savage thing I've ever heard. I still can't stop laughing as I'm typing this.

  • David Eastman
    David Eastman 2 ай бұрын

    Honestly the trailer at the cinema was the best part. Also I enjoyed the end when she blasts of into space, because it gave the audience a moment to make up their own conclusions and story for what will happen next.

  • Konstantine
    Konstantine 9 ай бұрын

    Watched the movie at the theater. Had to go back home and watch Alien to remind myself what a good movie it is. Your last point spoke to my heart. Subscribed.

  • Meddik
    Meddik 5 ай бұрын +2

    I can rewatch this video and the covenant one 10 times a day and still does not get old.

  • Homalocephale Jr.
    Homalocephale Jr. 2 ай бұрын +5

    The amount of times I watched this review is more than the actual movie (which is weird since I am a huge Alien fan)

    • ᵣₒₛcₒₑ🍻
      ᵣₒₛcₒₑ🍻 Ай бұрын

      @Jermaine Ford are you the guy from the recent super chat catch-up that's been binge watching CD'S for the past 2 weeks

    • Jermaine Ford
      Jermaine Ford Ай бұрын +2

      I’ve come back to this video every single day for the past two weeks. 😂

    • ᵣₒₛcₒₑ🍻
      ᵣₒₛcₒₑ🍻 Ай бұрын +2

      CD is pretty addictive

  • Boris Dorofeev
    Boris Dorofeev 2 жыл бұрын +4279

    Oh and don't forget about her having a c section with the abdominal muscles cut through and then stapled together. Then 5 seconds later she's jumping around like nothing happened.

    • bob dole
      bob dole Ай бұрын

      @Christian Terrill pain killers.

    • Christian Terrill
      Christian Terrill Ай бұрын +2

      Yeah my wife has a c section it's a major fucking surgery, the surgeon let me watch how they did the c section and its not gental at all. It's a huge cut in bottom of their belly, and 3 nurses pushing the top my wife's belly with all their force, pushing a baby out the cut in my wife's belly. It looked pretty fucking major. Not to mention her recovery took months, and her body never was the same.

    • bob dole
      bob dole Ай бұрын

      If she was on painkillers your point is bad

    • Gary McDerp
      Gary McDerp Ай бұрын

      To be fair she did get super high before and especially after the procedure. Must’ve been some good shit in those injectors.

    • derik jensen
      derik jensen Ай бұрын

      Those are human staples they infuse with the human and act as muscles duh

  • Eddy Least
    Eddy Least 11 ай бұрын +2

    Hey Drinker, I would love to hear your take on the Draft #17, Guy Pearce was going to appear as a young version on several dreams as well as the whole Engineers dialog perhaps all of these plot holes would make more sense

  • Sunny Johnson
    Sunny Johnson 8 ай бұрын +1

    The deleted scenes explained a lot more. Fifield, (or Ginger Science Guy) was turning into a Xenomorph instead of a zombie. His limbs were longer, his face no longer looked human and his skull was elongated.

  • Om Dahake
    Om Dahake 5 ай бұрын +4

    I watched this movie late at night when I was 11 OR 12 and thought maybe I was sleepy or too young to understand it but naw man 5-6 years later I still can't

  • Tomas Mood
    Tomas Mood 3 ай бұрын +3

    This is the best review of this movie I have ever seen. And it accurately points out all the shit about this movie. Thank you!

  • czr7j9
    czr7j9 2 ай бұрын +3

    i love her reason for going on the mission. 'Because i choose to believe they invited us.' Like choosing to believe god will save your ass if you fall off a cliff.

  • khazzen_
    khazzen_ 3 жыл бұрын +1112

    Ohh yes! The best kind of scientists in movies: the stupid ones.

    • Spencer Hansen
      Spencer Hansen 3 ай бұрын

      Type casting

    • Brave Diomedes
      Brave Diomedes 3 жыл бұрын +13

      That’s a problem with a lot of movies. Characters who are supposed to be geniuses written by people who clearly are not.

    • Genome Soldat
      Genome Soldat 3 жыл бұрын +15

      They get even dumber in Alien Covenant.
      The Half Life 1 scientists weren't this dumb.

    • Nathaniel Perry
      Nathaniel Perry 3 жыл бұрын +23

      "I like rocks"
      Genuine dialogue from a scientist in a high budget major studio release...

  • Sam Gow
    Sam Gow  Жыл бұрын +2

    It took me years to learn that Prometheus was even supposed to be a prequel to Alien.

  • Skytyme
    Skytyme 10 ай бұрын +1

    It’s really a shame this had so much potential could’ve been a masterpiece

  • David Paylor
    David Paylor 3 ай бұрын +51

    I tried to come up with a drinking game to go with this movie. Take a shot whenever you spot a plot-hole. You will never have to see the final third of the movie because you will be a lying in a puddle of your own waste, a blind vomiting wreck before you get half way. I still quite like it though, it's silly. And it's a masterwork compared to Covenant.

  • Billy Goatguy
    Billy Goatguy 6 ай бұрын +2

    i never really could bring myself to hate Prometheus for some reason, i found it entertaining and memorable despite having very aimless writing.
    All the questions raised seemed to be intended for a second act movie, which really didnt deliver and became a very forgettable experience in comparison.

    • Rell Hearts 2
      Rell Hearts 2  Ай бұрын

      Literally feel the same exact way. Even though it may not be a great movie, I still enjoyed it to some extent.

  • Jermaine Ford
    Jermaine Ford Ай бұрын +1

    I can’t regret Prometheus existing because it gave birth to the funniest review video of all time. 😂😂😂😂

  • Matt Junewski
    Matt Junewski 2 жыл бұрын +536

    To add a fun fact for ya, there's also character inconsistency:
    -two or three guys who appear in the dining scene and briefing and are never seen again (those two guys in uniforms and caps sitting next to David during the briefing)
    -those two mechanics who havent appeared on the briefing or anywhere before and were just added there for the kill count
    - and the one mercenary killed by axe in the back from Geologist mutant, who later appears standing next to old weyland on the ship, even tho he was killed before, and then dissapears, never to be seen again.

    • Matt Junewski
      Matt Junewski  Жыл бұрын

      @Al Kohallick oh yeah, thank you for the correction :)

    • Al Kohallick
      Al Kohallick  Жыл бұрын +2


    • Proto-Geek
      Proto-Geek  Жыл бұрын +5

      That fact wasn't fun at all.

    • 3 Eyed Motherfucker
      3 Eyed Motherfucker  Жыл бұрын +15

      They were ghosts!!!1!

    • Tommy H
      Tommy H 2 жыл бұрын +65

      All very logical and well-considered by the brilliant script writers and senile director.

  • Name
    Name 7 ай бұрын +1

    I somehow made it most of the way through this without realizing it was a prequel. It was a fairly mediocre, but not terrible, generic body/space horror.

  • Joseph Fix
    Joseph Fix 6 ай бұрын +4

    Spot-on analysis... I've always thought this movie was written by drunk screenwriters.

  • Jonno Lee
    Jonno Lee Ай бұрын

    "as alive as old people can be, I suppose" simply superb line

    • John Techwriter
      John Techwriter Ай бұрын

      Unless one is, in fact, old. In which case one considers himself to be as alive as his inferiors.

    DUCATIPETE Ай бұрын

    Hahaa.. my favorite film critique for sure 😆.
    I agree on EVERY HORRIBLE POINT you made about this movie. I actually saw it in theater and cursed in my popcorn .
    I do have to say one positive thing about this movie - It DOES LOOK beautiful .
    Extremely well shot and I actually really did like the dreary landscape.
    I thought the effects, like you pointed out , made no F**kin sense most of the time, but actually did LOOK Good 🤷🏻‍♂️ .
    I really like Ridley Scott’s visual feeling he brings to his movies.
    Everything looked so cool and sci-fy , if that makes any sense 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️❔❔
    Great review though, you had me laughing out loud on this one. Spot On ✅

  • abcdeghijklmnopqrstfuvwxyz
    abcdeghijklmnopqrstfuvwxyz 2 ай бұрын

    They recreated a lot of HR Giger's paintings in this movie. That's what I really liked about it.

  • Jake Frost
    Jake Frost 3 жыл бұрын +452

    _Number-One Rule of Cosmic Horror: _*_"A good mystery always trumps a lousy answer."_*

    • Lake Skimmer
      Lake Skimmer 9 ай бұрын +1

      @Kevin so what's it called when it causes no amusement or laughter?

    • Puddin
      Puddin  Жыл бұрын +2

      The one stipulation about that is that you can't leave questions vital to the plot unanswered. You can establish a mystery and leave it there for people to speculate about, but it can't have a significant impact on the story if you choose to do so. Otherwise you get J.J. Abrams bullshit. Imagine a crime thriller style whodunnit without ever finding out whofuckingdunnit. That's J.J. Abrams' mystery box brand of "mystery."

    • Kevin
      Kevin 3 жыл бұрын

      @dakka head
      1. A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

    • Kevin
      Kevin 3 жыл бұрын

      Alien isn't cosmic horror by any stretch of the imagination my dude. Another set of words for cosmic horror is.... Lovecraftian Horror lol...

    • Bvgger 0ff pls
      Bvgger 0ff pls 3 жыл бұрын +5

      @dosmastrify Just leave....

  • Oliviu-Dorian Constantinescu
    Oliviu-Dorian Constantinescu 8 ай бұрын +1

    It's been my nagging suspicion that Scott always had better people than him working under his direction.
    The moment he's allowed to make anything on his own, it all falls apart.

  • Rachel Black
    Rachel Black 10 ай бұрын

    Listening to a critique from The Critical Drinker is more entertaining than any movie I've ever watched, per minute of viewing time. ILMFAO! This guy is a treasure!

  • Burritozi11a
    Burritozi11a 6 ай бұрын +1

    My headcanon is that this planet is like the equivalent of the Soviet Aralsk-7 facility for the ancient aliens. This was where they experimented with all sorts of biological weapons. The black goo, the snakes, the squid, the zombie parasite, are all things they tested before finally settling on the xenomorphs. Still doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it's something.

  • Philip Mann
    Philip Mann 3 ай бұрын +5

    This has to be the funniest video I've seen in years. Great job!

  • mufc
    mufc Ай бұрын

    It’s weird because the snake scene could easily have written it so that the snake attacked them without them aggravating it. They are trapped in the room, the snake appears first wriggling before the surface, they freak out when they see it and try and get out but the door is locked and it gets them. Much more scary and what would actually happen. Despite the flaws of the film I actually really enjoyed it for the visuals, tone, tension, score and the overall idea of the engineers, who they were, did they create us etc. it is weird that there is so much stuff that is either silly, makes no sense, creates more questions that don’t get answered. Even WEIRDER that covenant abandoned following up on most of the plot and just did a slasher film so we’ll never get answers to things that were set up. Very interesting to look back at retrospectively.

  • Jeff van Welij
    Jeff van Welij  Жыл бұрын +559

    Aliens is one of those rare movies. Even 25 years later I still get nervous when I watch it, even if I already know what's going to happen. I legitimately feel exhausted once the credits roll, and that's a compliment.

    • Proto-Geek
      Proto-Geek 6 ай бұрын

      @Keldor D'Antrell Yea, just an all around classic full of awesome scenes.

    • Keldor D'Antrell
      Keldor D'Antrell 6 ай бұрын

      @Proto-Geek, for me, better yet is when we anticipate him going in to find the monster to confront it and drive it into an airlock. First he goes and 'chats' with Mother (the computer) and it answers his question, "What are my chances?" with the chillingly unhelpful, "Does not compute." Then we see those vents opening with that eerie motion and sound - to allow him to pass into a dark and claustrophobic space... Add the awesome music and you've got a classic piece of suspense/horror cinema.

    • PtolemyauletesXII
      PtolemyauletesXII 7 ай бұрын

      @Carlo Dave Best comment ever!

    • Rob Robberson
      Rob Robberson 9 ай бұрын +1

      A big part of that is Weaver's stellar acting, imo.

    • My Account
      My Account 10 ай бұрын

      34 years

  • foreigner_within
    foreigner_within 6 ай бұрын

    This channel is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Great insight.

  • Mark Goodman
    Mark Goodman 4 ай бұрын

    Your narration is gold. 1 million x’s better than the ‘movie’ itself. PLEASE keep them coming. 😂😂

  • lord loki
    lord loki 7 ай бұрын

    The movie never explains things you'd know only if you've dealt with the lore like a xenomoph can and will grow as fast as its needed to become either a queen if ones not around or a soldier if queens are present it's a little crazy but it explains some things but not at the same time

  • Psychotoddler
    Psychotoddler 11 ай бұрын +2

    The worst thing about this movie was that it took the Alieness out of Alien. Making the space jockey into some jump seat for a humanoid muscle man is a crime.

  • Stephen Gillie
    Stephen Gillie 3 ай бұрын +41

    Ah yes, the origin of the Prometheus School of Running Away From Things.

    • wtf's alommy?
      wtf's alommy? Ай бұрын +1

      @Ian thats why i come back from time to time,cheers

    • Ian
      Ian Ай бұрын +3

      The movie was trash but the memes are legendary

  • Marchant2
    Marchant2 2 жыл бұрын +260

    To me, one of the most annoying things about Prometheus is how the technology in this prequel looks centuries ahead of the technology that is supposed to come many generations afterwards

    • Fifi
      Fifi 10 ай бұрын +3

      I feel the same way. It even makes it hard for me to realise that Prometheus happens before Alien. I mean, rationally speaking I know it is a prequel, but when watching the movies or talking about them I have to remind myself of the chronological order of the stories

    • JT
      JT 11 ай бұрын +1

      "ThEy wErE SpAcE TruCkerz gaiz"

    • 1Dreamking
      1Dreamking 11 ай бұрын

      @PetersonZF Damn, now I have a reason to rewatch them... =P

    • PetersonZF
      PetersonZF 11 ай бұрын +6

      @1Dreamking Not that I would generally defend the prequels, but while computer displays etc look a bit flashier, the actual technology is often shown to be inferior. Eg. Obi-Wan's fighter needs a large, cumbersome hyperdrive ring to get around the galaxy, compared to X-Wings and other starfighters in the OT that had that capability built in.

    • Rowan Melton
      Rowan Melton  Жыл бұрын +3

      @Dartht33bagger I'd say it's different with games, because they need to introduce new and better combat mechanics, to make the gameplay fresh and exciting. Often times that includes more advanced technology. However, with film, its purely storytelling. A step backwards in those areas will not impact the quality of the product whatsoever

  • Paul Bateman
    Paul Bateman  Жыл бұрын +1

    I didn't understand how the crew woke up on the ship not having met each other before. Didn't they get on it together at the beginning?

  • Kaeben
    Kaeben 10 ай бұрын +41

    The most glaring destruction to the series made by this film was the taking of a horrifying, naturally evolved alien (which is abjectly terrifying) and making it into just another fancy weapon made by people to kill each other (yawn). It destroyed the premise of the entire series. It was an abject failure: an inexcusable loss of a great opportunity.

    • Attila Juhasz
      Attila Juhasz 5 ай бұрын

      Kaeben, I must disagree with your "naturally evolved" assessment of the creatures in both Alien and Aliens. Such sophisticated characteristics and morphology require many generational iterations to develop whereas the creatures depend upon hosts which are completely annihilated by their parasitic infections. This beggars the question of the creatures' genesis, hence the Engineers' role.
      It was always Scott's intention to write the back-story of the Aliens/Engineers; however, for various reasons, as you say, it fell flat.

    • Major Pwner
      Major Pwner 6 ай бұрын

      @Cale Winslow Entertainment... what do you mean? Just because it's a prequel doesn't mean it determines everything about the universe.

    • Cale Winslow
      Cale Winslow 6 ай бұрын

      @Major Pwner then what was the point of it

    • Major Pwner
      Major Pwner 6 ай бұрын

      As I'm trying to explain to others, the movie never strongly implies this is the true origins of Xenomorphs. It could simply be genetic experimentation on them to create bio weapons.

    • Cale Winslow
      Cale Winslow 6 ай бұрын


  • Jay Landstrom
    Jay Landstrom 3 ай бұрын +33

    "...getting dropped off on a primordial Earth by a giant black space dildo." Best line on KZclip in all of 2019. Submissions closed. I still can't stop laughing.

  • GradKat
    GradKat 2 ай бұрын +2

    I always found it strange they only had one android on board. Suppose he malfunctioned? And it was beyond credibility that the crew didn’t meet prior to the expedition, or were told beforehand what the purpose of the expedition was.

  • Do Bap
    Do Bap 8 ай бұрын +1

    I watched this one a long time ago, and even listening to your plot summary, I still don’t remember any of it 😂

  • Gypsy JR
    Gypsy JR 3 жыл бұрын +427

    I remember opening day of Alien. People actually ran out of the theater in horror at two places during the film! Nobody had ever seen anything like that before in a film. It changed everything!

    • Karthis
      Karthis  Жыл бұрын

      Was it really scary back then? I know as a child when I watched it I never found a moment of it scary, but I did grow up watching horror movies I guess /shrug.

    • Alan Webster
      Alan Webster  Жыл бұрын

      I saw it in the theatre when it first came out and saw no reviews. I gripped those seat arms so tight! On the edge of the seat. Loved it.

    • Dermot Kerins
      Dermot Kerins 2 жыл бұрын +2

      Idk if either story is true but it reminds me of hearing about a bunch of people shitting themselves watching a silent movie depiction of a train coming straight towards the camera

    • LOGO PRO
      LOGO PRO 2 жыл бұрын

      Yeah, now they ran out of the theater but for other reasons.

    • jandb nemeth
      jandb nemeth 2 жыл бұрын +7

      I'm sure people ran out of the theater in horror during this film as well.. for different reasons

  • Albert Buhr
    Albert Buhr 9 ай бұрын +1

    The origin of Prometheus, I'd wager, was not an intriguing story idea, but rather the idea: Let's make a movie. The chasm between having something to say, and having to say something, is wide indeed.

  • Joe Veltri
    Joe Veltri Ай бұрын +1

    This might be my favorite review. It saves me from having ro suffer through another viewing.

  • Jonathan B
    Jonathan B Ай бұрын +1

    Alien. Alien Isolation. Aliens...that's the beginning and end of it as far as I am concerned and I'll be forever grateful for the creation of those three masterpieces. Everything else in the franchise has been entirely forgettable. Hopeful Blomkamp may someday/somehow get to make his movie - I'd be far more excited about that prospect than the upcoming 'Romulus' movie.

  • vkdee44
    vkdee44  Жыл бұрын

    🤣🤣 Your review was far more entertaining than the movie. You're so funny!

  • Ab Normaal
    Ab Normaal 4 ай бұрын +3

    For decades i see his initial letter G he used for his derelict alien spaceship design.
    It;s based on an existing type design, he probably adapted, modefied and made it his own Letter Type
    the "Giger lettertype", So it's frustrating reading books seeing doc's etc. about alien and absolutely nobody I could find talks about this Iconic design origin of the alien vessel. Maybe or probably i missed it somewhere. In space nobody hears you scream I guess.
    Greetings from Amsterdam

    • Deer Lord
      Deer Lord 2 ай бұрын +1

      Thanks for pointing that out! Quite interesting 😁👍

  • kebman
    kebman 2 жыл бұрын +1004

    “Trying to pick apart this plot logically is like trying to find a gender studies graduate that weighs less than a metric ton.”
    - The Critical Drinker

    • Better Than Yesterday
      Better Than Yesterday 7 ай бұрын

      @Jason Haines You're overly sensitive. Have a good cry

    • Aye Itz Dj
      Aye Itz Dj 11 ай бұрын +1

      @Bob3D2000 *ton

    • JT
      JT 11 ай бұрын +4

      @Jason Haines oh boo hoo.

    • Karl Marksman
      Karl Marksman 11 ай бұрын +3

      @Jason Haines that's his bread and butter

    • Jason Haines
      Jason Haines 11 ай бұрын

      That was a cheap and mean joke

  • RemoraMarine
    RemoraMarine 10 ай бұрын

    Well said, the original was incredible filmmaking.

  • 6 weeks ago • 35 years ago
    6 weeks ago • 35 years ago 11 ай бұрын +7

    It’s stupid but beautiful, aesthetic but out of touch. It is definitely in my blu ray collection.

    DVX_BELLORVM 7 ай бұрын +1

    When did we shift from starship sets looking like this: 17:14, to looking like this: 17:33? Wouldn't you want a starship to be well-lit so that everyone can see what they're doing? Everything now looks so dim, cold, and uninteresting. It also added to the horror in the original film by drawing a contrast between the well-lit crew spaces and the dark interiors of the ship.

  • R L
    R L 10 ай бұрын +1

    I always called my father “ father.” & I rewatch this film ; not because it’s good ; but , because it’s pretty

  • Jeizi
    Jeizi 2 ай бұрын

    damn, well now i feel stupid but even so I still enjoyed this movie enough that i have it as one of the movies i can keep rewatching.

  • Jeremy Payne
    Jeremy Payne  Жыл бұрын +551

    The space jockey was one of the best unanswered questions in Alien. It was big, weird, and you weren't sure if it was a being separate from the ship, or a part of it. Now we know... sometimes it's better left unexplained...

    • Thatoneguy420
      Thatoneguy420 3 ай бұрын

      @The king in yellow, Messiah of hastur THISS also they had like elephant trunks in the original if I remember correctly this movie isn't cannon for me. HOWEVER the dark horse comics definitely are. I love aliens vs colonial Marines

    • The king in yellow, Messiah of hastur
      The king in yellow, Messiah of hastur 5 ай бұрын +1

      All you needed to know about the space jockey was that even as a huge alien with powerful tech, the aliens killed him.

    • Nils
      Nils 6 ай бұрын +1

      they made his head a helmet ...

    • Major Pwner
      Major Pwner 6 ай бұрын

      @Tamas Horvath To be fair, Prometheus does nothing to deter the thought that Xenomorphs came from some dark corner of the universe. What was taking place on that planet could simply be genetic experimentation with something pre-existing.

  • Shadowcat 79
    Shadowcat 79 11 ай бұрын

    The teaser trailer was so good. I still watch it to remind myself not to get my hopes too high. The fall is too hard.

  • UltimateMixmeister
    UltimateMixmeister 3 ай бұрын +68

    As a published author of the horror genre, THIS is the kind of crap I think about before sitting down and making sure my work actually makes sense for the readers.

    • Just Jennifer
      Just Jennifer 2 ай бұрын

      Prove it. Write a romance novel featuring a city career woman that goes back to her hometown for holidays and falls in love with a blue collar self employed hunk that's known around the small town as the greatest guy.

    • II M4X II
      II M4X II 2 ай бұрын


    • The Size Game
      The Size Game 2 ай бұрын +4

      What books have you written?

  • IsleOfFeldspar
    IsleOfFeldspar 2 ай бұрын +1

    And THEN! We received the coup de grace with Covenant. The film that answered the question, ‘can we make even more of a mess of this?’ YES WE CAN!!

  • Zachary Dom
    Zachary Dom 4 ай бұрын +2

    It’s intriguing to know that in an earlier cut of the scene with the mutated ginger, he had significantly more xenomorphic features, implying that he was actually mutating into one.

    • jimbobeire
      jimbobeire 2 ай бұрын

      @Deer Lord Xenomorph covers all the Aliens in all the movies, it literally means strange shape or 'alien'. I'm not interested in the fan fiction where people are splitting hairs and inventing their own lore. I'm going off what was on the screen, and the clear references made by the writers.

    • Deer Lord
      Deer Lord 2 ай бұрын

      @jimbobeire The sculpture is not a xeno, it's a Deacon, the Engineers deity. And the crew did found God, sort of, the Engineer tells them that they did create humans using the blood of the Deacon and sacrificing one of their own to create human life, their _"only successful attempt at creating life,"_ which is what happens in the opening scene. 🤷‍♂️

    • jimbobeire
      jimbobeire 3 ай бұрын +1

      That's the entire point of the facility. The giant elongated skull on the roof, the scultpure of a Xeno on the wall, and the painting on the ceiling of a humanoid mutating, like HR Giger's take on the Sistine Chapel painting of God creating Adam.
      Shaw assumed the trips to Earth were to 'guide us' and the crude stick drawings in caves, were not made by the cave dwelling humans, but were an invitation from an advanced race.
      Those trips to Earth were about gathering fresh bodies for the lab. This was Frankenstein in Space, but the main characters think they've found God, rather than Frankenstein's lair.

  • Ivin3690
    Ivin3690 8 ай бұрын +1

    5:30 has me dying the way he describes the head scene 😆

  • Deep Blue Azure
    Deep Blue Azure  Жыл бұрын +429

    "They stick a power plug in its ear and bring it back to life, because I guess that's a thing you can do with a decapitated head"
    This is gold

    • Chris Adams
      Chris Adams 6 ай бұрын

      It’s ok.. they put it in a cupboard and it blew up! 😆😆😆

    • Gamer Milk
      Gamer Milk 8 ай бұрын

      I forget about the dumb head part.

    • lola
      lola 8 ай бұрын +1

      I think Engineers made humans as a host for aliens from their own DNA so they don't have to sacrifice themselves to make an army of aliens to destroy other civilizations but the writer and director didn't know how to make that into a movie
      I really think Prometheus and covenant could've been a lot better if they hired better writers

    • Puddin
      Puddin 11 ай бұрын +3

      @jimbobeire We can cut the story written in 1818 when the effects of electricity on human body weren't widely understood and kind of freaky some slack. Prometheus takes place in the future. There's no excuse for this inanity.

  • Daniel Konecny
    Daniel Konecny  Жыл бұрын +15

    Time taught me to appretiate Alien 3.
    Especially compared to what came after it.

    • Sabir
      Sabir 15 күн бұрын

      Alien 4 is a guilty pleasure of mine, for humor purposes

    • Random Centurion
      Random Centurion 6 ай бұрын +3

      Aye. It's flawed but there's a good story at it's heart, though I'll never consider it canon since I like the ending to Aliens.

  • Richard Jelinek
    Richard Jelinek 3 ай бұрын +2

    I have never ever written a movie script, but Prometheus convinced me that if I had 6 months of time writing an Alien prequel, I'd have done a better job. Which includes the time learning how to write a movie script at all. From scratch. So how come that some Damon Lindelof (yeah, I looked it up) gets such a job at all?