@Eudis Actually, you might be on to something there. He doesn't get the same subjective enjoyment from caring for others, so it's probably a major drag for him to actually put on such an act. Therefore, he's doing it as an almost completely selfless choice - with the one exception that he might actually want to be remembered and loved by others, despite low empathy.
I remember gushing to a surgeon once for saving my life, he looked at me like I was something he had just scraped off his shoe, I still love that guy though 🥰
I had brain surgery. My interaction with my surgeon at my first follow-up will haunt me forever. I was sitting, slouched in my chair in the patient room, not really conscious of my body posture. The surgeon came in, and plopped into a chair near me, matching my posture, which seeing him sit that way jarred me, and I sit up straight. That man cut a hole in my skull, and chopped at my brain, my life was so literally in his hands, and I felt like I was disrespecting him. At the same time, like what can I do/say? Thanks for saving my life, dude! I'll sit up straight in my chair and say "thanks" ... cause that's enough ... but it's nothing ... Like, those are just words people say, like, "thanks for visiting," ... I don't really know what I'm trying to say ...
@Hansel Mansell I had to abandon my parents hope of me becoming a doctor because of squeamishness. I got into Uni and finished a year of medicine tho. Took me a while to realize I couldn't do it. I don't think I could ever get desensitized.
I was at a Mental Health conference back in July where a renown researcher told the story of Mr Fallon. He further estimated that it may not only take the abnormal brain structure of a psychopath to make a destructive person, it also may require bad nurture in childhood. He estimated that Mr Fallon did not become a destructive person because of relatively good nurture in childhood. Amazing to hear his own take.
@Derrick Talbot Fascinating! Thank you for taking the time to write that all out. Rules.. I haven't thought about it a ton, but a weak, unfinished theory comes to mind: Perhaps ALL 'good' behavior comes from rules. When a child is two, they learn "If you run into the road, I will smack your butt" - that is the rule. When they are seven they learn more subtle rules "You must act as if all men are created equal" (despite knowing that your own desires are more important), so wait your turn in line. And that is the new rule. At later ages, we learn to model the minds of other people and act so as to promote a good image of our self in their mind - and that becomes the new rule. I think that kids in chaotic homes never learn the rules because there are no rules. Whether you are hugged or hit depends randomly on the mood of the parent. And it's impossible to learn how to model someone else's mind when others are so chaotic. So figuring out functional rules for yourself - good work. I don't think that you're as different as you'd guess. You just consciously know the rules that drive you. We think it is because we are 'good' people. But all it takes is getting stuck on an airplane at the gate for four hours to show what a thin veneer that goodness actually is. :) I'm sure the theory needs plenty of work, but if it's valid at all, it would hint that your 'openly evil' just means "rules to be good that I wrote myself rather than other people teaching me how to build a 'conscience' " .
I remember listening to him lecture about this before, and mentioning a specific instance where he was investigating a deadly virus that he believed was contracted in a bat cave. He didn't tell his brother that they were at risk because he thought it would be fun to spelunk, but didn't tell his brother that the reason no one was visiting the cave and/or there were dead animals nearby was because it carried deadly contagion. He never told his brother that if he touched the floors, that he would contract Marburg virus and die bleeding from all his orifices. They enjoyed the caves. After his brother found out, their relationship changed. He may think he's a good guy based on his religious framework, but there are probably a lot of situations like this one that outline how dangerous he is as a companion. I would love to study this man.
I saw a video where people who knew him called him out on stage for some of his “fun” stories and told the truth behind what happened. They also reminded him of other dangerous and thoughtless things he did with, say, his kids. He had trouble seeing what the problem was. He’s not a good guy. Don’t believe psychopaths’ self-assessments. That’s basic. We all know it, but when we’re faced with a cuddly TED talk, too many people decide to forget.
I just try to _appreciate_ the fact that if Dr. Fallon didn't rip my head off it's because he wouldn't regard it as a particularly interesting endeavor.
There are more psychopaths out there then generally believed, you probly know one or two. That guy who's totally oblivious to your reactions to something or your opinion in general without even being conscious of it for instance
Courageous of this man to step out as he did. Reminds me of the movie “interview with the vampire”, as most narcissists/sociopaths will tend to remain forever unaccountable for their tendencies and lowball actions. As it goes, there is a spectrum within anti social disorders, with many persons able to carry on somewhat “normal” lives. Cudos to this fellow for embracing his situation with humility and sharing his story.
People saying he doesn’t have courage are ignoring the spirit of this guy’s research i.e. maybe our preconceptions of psychopaths are incomplete. How does one describe the feeling, emotion, or motive behind “courage”? A selfless act in service of some greater cause or person? Why couldn’t a psychopath act with courage? They have a sense of self, the willpower to act, & the intellect to understand a greater cause or person other than themself. They just don’t have the emotional depth to fully embody what we’d consider to be “courage” or any other trait. But they could certainly act with courage. 99% of courageous acts for “normal” people also include some measure of positive feedback - other than giving up your life. Do we discount everyone’s courage because they got something about it? We praise soldiers, cops, and doctors for getting paid to do their jobs all the time lol.
That spectrum concept is outdated as far as I know. U can be a super psycho, but if u manage to use ur character within the norms of society you probably end up as a high regarded CEO or something. So not the degree of that trait is the criteria but rather the way it is implememted in ur life.
@Leonardo Figueiredo I understand where everyone is coming from but he is also working to better himself for his family and friends. How is that not caring? It's something.
I had brain surgery. My interaction with my surgeon at my first follow-up will haunt me forever. I was sitting, slouched in my chair in the patient room, not really conscious of my body posture. The surgeon came in, and plopped into a chair near me, matching my posture, which seeing him sit that way jarred me, and I sit up straight. That man cut a hole in my skull, and chopped at my brain, my life was so literally in his hands, and I felt like I was disrespecting him. At the same time, like what can I do/say? Thanks for saving my life, dude! I'll sit up straight in my chair and say "thanks" ... cause that's enough ... but it's nothing ... Like, those are just words people say, like, "thanks for visiting," ... I don't really know what I'm trying to say ...
I think to be okay with cutting someone open you have to have low empathy. I have a unique experience with this because I was on SSRIs. I stopped feeling all empathy. Music, art, pain, nothing moved me. I would've made a pretty good surgeon. I don't really want to share too much, but I offered to do something that would've haunted me now that I'm awake again. Now I'm off of them for about 2 years and I can feel again, if I had to do surgery I would faint. I now fully understand that there are people who act somewhat normal but feel nothing.
Almost exactly what I said about the Surgical Oncologist who layed open my neck in a "Radical Left Neck Dissection". When I first met her, she seemed brusque and "all business". (maybe a bit cold) What I actually said to her was, "I looked that up; you have balls of steel!" The best part was when she finished, went to talk to my sisters and was really pumped up about how well the surgery went. That went far in my appreciation of her total skill set.
Honestly, Mr. Fallon intended for them to laugh. Didn't you notice the way he led up to saying it was him and then said, "It was me!"? It was quite funny.
@Lori Emerns he's friend did not say he was great a parties for nothing. there is an art to telling a story and he is versed in this and the people respond as any of us would.
I found it very jarring - rude even - that they were laughing when he revealed the scan belonged to him. But at the same time, I understand why they were laughing. Surprise and shock can cause laughter, even in the face of the grimmest of matters, and when people have others laughing around them, they may feel relaxed enough/inclined to laugh, too. If this was a one-on-one conversation, the reaction could be greatly different in that regard, but the shock of it could still easily ellict (nervous) laughter from the recipient learning this information.
Fascinating. There seem to be so many varied dimensions to the human psyche that we gloss over in our panic to find a "simple answer". Psychopathology is probably a spectrum, and most certainly a basket of sub-components. It would take a huge amount of self-awareness and self-control, but it appears that some psychopaths can control it and adapt to what part of the world they can perceive. I saw an interview of a diagnosed psychopath who was crystal-clear on a few points: he spoke because he had nothing to gain or lose, his perception of the human world was peripheral at most but he did comprehend there were entities (other human beings) "out there", he knew pain and did not wish it on another being, and he understood the pain he could cause would probably be because of inattentiveness or negligence on his part. His answer was to focus, very hard, on the human world at the edges of his comprehension, following what clues he could gather through information sometimes gained second-hand. He was clearly very intelligent, but he described his existence almost like a 'brain in a jar' experience. I couldn't comprehend a lot of what he said, but I'm glad I listened.
@SkelterBane An excellent guide is simply the awareness that in many ways others are very much like yourself: Averse to pain, interested in pleasure, seeking constructive family relationships, and more completely seeking friendship, love, meaningful work.... The Golden Rule oversimplifies matters but 'treating others as you would like to be treated' has its root in acknowledging how alike humans are, and that we are kin to each other not just genetically but emotionally and morally.
@friskeysunset I'd be fascinated to listen. Do you have more information, such that allows for a productive search for this interview? Thanks in advance.
One thing that isn’t often noted about psychopaths is how endearing they can be. Charming, yes, but also they come across as more innocent and endearing than anything usually.
@theSullied actually you should look into real stories about tragic situations, statistical facts and meta-analysis about how humans survive crises. We are far more likely to band together and cooperate when our life is on the line. Deprogram yourself 🤙
Being a psychopath and being a serial killer are two different things. It depends not only of your genes, but also the enviroment. Maybe he was raised in a good structured family. Besides the story he told, he maybe didn't commited anything worse (like murder itself as he did a lot of harmful things) because of that. He grew up and ended up doing a good job to the society. He locked himself in this job, maybe that brought good emotions to himself, and that kind of pleasure he can still feel. And now i learned one more thing about this kind of brain: They might not always be aware they have this issue. I really didn't know that. That's amazing. I know he doesn't care and he maybe this time wasn't trying to manipulate, but telling his story to the public made him feel awesome. He doesn't have emotional empathy, but i found very interesting that he has the acknowledgment that his relatives thinks he is not a good person to be around.
The same logical point does apply with pdophiles as well, being a pdophile is a different thing from being a sexual prdator. The environment I most definitely feel is a factor between both pdophiles and non-pdophiles that have committed acts of child molstation from those who had not. Exactly like how being a psychopath isn't mutually exclusive with being a murderer, the same fact applies he between pdophiles and child prdators.
I would love to watch an in-depth conversation between this guy and renowned narcissist and psychologist Sam Vaknin. The nature vs. nurture debate is never-ending, and endlessly fascinating.
There is no nature vs nurture debate, at least not among those who are intimately aware of the topic. If you want a short answer, we have an inherent nature that can take on different forms through nurture. What that inherent nature is, and how nurturing that nature will affect it is the real question.
Absolutely we need detached people but we dont need violent or cruel people! This man is funny funny funny! Charming and mesmerizing great speaker easy to losten to probably an excellent author!
@Etta Listen to the talk again, he gives you some examples of jobs that are easier to do efficiently if one has a lack of empathy; surgeon, special forces soldier etc.
@Gym Monkey in the information age, most managers are redundant. Those who argue as you do tend to overplay such issues to justify their own existence.
@Thomas Prislac Jr. it's not about leadership but management. People lack discipline and expect managers to deal with their lack of it, then label managers as "unethical and unprincipled". You might as well change career to child care, at least you'd be certain you are dealing with children on a daily basis.
As far as psychopaths go, Fallon is a success story. I’ve no doubt he’s fallen short in his interpersonal relationships, and that he doesn’t feel regret, but that’s the very definition of a psychopath. He’s also been governed by the moral code he was taught growing up, and has become a socially normal, responsible, and successful member of society. Demonizing Psychopaths as a group is blaming a person for something they have no control over, AND treating them as irredeemable mutants who aren’t worth the effort and expense to treat, despite evidence that they can function normally when given the proper environment to develop.
@Andrew Haywood damn people, Just because he doesnt feel empathy it doesnt mean he is stupid, or incompassionate. For example, If someone Tell him their parents died, he wouldnt feel much, but that doesnt mean he is incapable of giving a hug and showing sympathy. Everyone is capable of doing that. And Who cares If there isnt that much feeling behind it, actions are important. Its called cognitive empathy, its pretty much putting yourself in another persons shoes. Psychopaths are probably better than this than normal people Just because they have to compensate since they lack normal empathy
Humanity is way more complex and nuanced than most or any of us realize. Dating and loving someone who was hyper functional who shared that they had been diagnosed with numerous mental health issues really made me put the brakes on being judgmental towards anyone, even myself.
@Nicanor Benitez Let me rephrase, definitive statements are usually not helpful. Whereas labels can be helpful at times, even though they run the risk of oversimplifying matters.
@Paul Duffyactually they’re helpful in some ways. For example, I couldn’t begin getting my life back until I could label what I wanted to understand and overcome.
I’ve heard him tell this story before and it was totally different detail about how he found out. It seems lying without compunction is also a feature of psychopathy.
I worry time to time that I might be one as well as being autistic, I learned that antisocial personality disorder/psychopathy can be comorbid with autism spectrum disorder. Autism and psychopathy isn't mutually exclusive.
I remember this story from about a decade ago. Researchers also said that the brain chemistry plus a head injury and bad parenting all contributed to negative psychopathic behaviour (in several studies).
Fascinating. I've heard about this guy but never seen him before. He also has that really charming, charismatic thing that all the "best" psychopaths have. I am recovering from childhood trauma and I've sometimes wondered whether I am a sociopath. Maybe I should get the brain scan...
between you and me, these guys have something figured out. sure, murder is ignoble and often pointless, but defense of and absolute control over the self is all that matters in life.
Started this video and shared with my friends group.. Kept watching and realized I'm exposing myself a little too much and deleted it from the chat. Damn this hit close to home.. Including diagnosing myself and asking my smartest friends what they thought. This was spot on.. Thank you 😘
I'd be deeply curious how you'd behave while high on MDMA. Everything you described as a pro-social psychopath sounds like me, but when I'm high on MDMA, it unlocks a genuinely loving and empathic side of me that I quite like.
This was so interesting! The thing about many mental illnesses or conditions is that genetics "load the gun" by giving you the genetics that could allow you to develop them, but the genes will not manifest unless there are triggers in your environment for it to happen. For example, not everyone with the genes that make them high-risk for schizophrenia will develop schizophrenia. It often happens after a stressful and painful childhood+adolescence or drug abuse that signal to the body to activate those genes for whatever reason.
This guy is doing a lot of humanity. He's going where no one went before. We are privileged to listen to him, a "psychopath" by scan and his friends opinions, but also a brave pioneer for humanity in my opinion and I hope others.
Nothing brave or courageous, he's dead on the inside, as far as caring about others, is concerned. Everything he's doing is self serving. Everyone around him knows what he is, and he doesn't care. He shouldn't be applauded, he's living the ultimate narcissist fantasy, flaunting his condition in front of complete strangers, who are gullible enough to praise him for being "honest". This whole talk, was disturbing. He's a timebomb, that could go off at any moment.
Something I recently realized is that personality disorders are also on a spectrum. I had trouble understanding if a relative was a narcissist until I realized they are probably on a spectrum and just not as bad as some narcs.
Yes, that's exactly how characteristics like narcissism work, EVERYONE is narcissistic and supposedly men are moreso on average than women, but only people who REALLY have it bad get called "malignant narcissists"
I teared up a little with that closing bit. Not compelled or even encouraged by his emotions and yet James Fallon chooses to care. Academics argue endlessly about the reality of free will and whether we are all just a product of nature and nurture, but IMHO this is a practical example.
Fascinating. I often get the question about narcissists, why and what can we do. Unless someone wants to change, we can't do much. It can be helpful to consider it's genetic, it can be easier to move on. That helped me close the door on a relationship with a narcissist, when I viewed her as a "psychopath lite" - which was really quite accurate (yes, obsessed with "saving the world" while treating everyone like dirt).
My problem was that I got caught up on the narcissist word, therefore I forgot that they were actually PSYCHOPATHS in many cases. As much feeling as I got from the inside impd community it kept me stock in terms of not moving on due to my own minimizing of psychopathology here! In many cases narcissism has become a polite word for consistently sporadic psycho-NUTJOB. Now I better STFU and watch this video now
So fascinating. I too knew someone who wanted to do great things in the world for humanity, but treated all the people around them (who really wanted to help) like garbage. They were never officially diagnosed but everyone pretty much describes them as a narcissist and they really fit the bill. They also were certain they were an empath so it made for really bizarre interactions. I watched them on multiple occasions manufacture compelling emotions and language to manipulate the situation to their favor and afterwords being so pleased with themselves. I think the whole “saving / changing the world” thing can indeed come from a place of pure ego and self-centeredness. Like they alone are the only person who has the right ideas of how things should be and how people should behave.
Yikes! In the late 1970's there was a Linus quote that I heard and struck me, "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." And so, there sat Linus on the floor holding his comfort blanket . . .
That bit about realising that you are a psychopath and not caring, kinda proved it, really struck a chord with me. I was on a course about autism and realised I’m autistic, so I went home and read everything I could find about autism, which kinda proved it!
WOW! This just made me realize that my mother is a Social Psychopath. She's always exhibited the signs he says he has. It makes so much sense. Thanks James.
I knew three boys who may have been psychopaths, when I was growing up. One thing I noticed about them was that they had no real emotions. They never showed anger, impatience, disappointment, disgust, or irritation. They also had a disdain for anyone else being angry, sad, impatient, etc. It seemed that when other people showed emotion it brought out their worst ways.
Give me a funny scientist to listen to ALL DAY. Loved the talk, we lost my husbands Dad to Alzheimer’s disease. He told me the following morning after an “episode”, he said that he felt like he was having a horrible nightmare and was watching himself act out, but was not able to control himself. I found that very interesting because we had never read or heard anything like that. I think that inflammation is definitely a factor in why he may have developed it.
@Kent Jensen you may be a milquetoast human being, but that does not mean no one else can be interesting, funny, talented, or otherwise better than you sounds like a skill issue tbh
Bravery requires overcoming something that scares or embarrasses you. Considering that psychopaths don’t feel these emotions they literally can’t be brave. Because they’re never afraid or embarrassed to begin with.
Anyone saying he's brave seems to forget that he's talking about being a sociopath which means he just doesn't care about your opinion. It's a cool talk, he's funny, but he's got no need to be brave because those feelings of fear just don't arise from a judgement based position. It's just YOU people who have a need to project something like that because, surprise, you're not a sociopath and you're putting yourself in his shoes. He doesn't care.
@Tom A. Hawk It reminds me of Louis CK, superficially. Where Louis' delivery feels very rough, off-the-cuff, and "my world is crumbling", yet it's all choreographed.
@Tom A. Hawk we could go round and round with your argument. I.e why can't I critique your critique etc ad nauseum. But at the end of the day your a modern day hater and troll under the guise of a genuine critique Get up there and show them how it's done pal.
@Nathan Bellamy That's a false equivalent. Just because someone critiques doesn't make them a professional. Since when are we not allowed to critique???? Oh wait.
Really, I found it a tad frustrating at times. Like listening to someone stutter. I do like his comedic misdirection. Caught me off guard even tho I knew it was coming.
@Gava It has in recent years though, with progressively more jobs becoming automated and the wealth divide growing wider as many of those jobs are no longer available and the majority of the money saved goes to the rich and not into the communities.
Empathy on it's own doesn't make money. CEO's can be empathetic, but only if it generates money, and i don't see problem in that, since economy is not a zero sum game. CEO's becoming rich doesn't make poor people more poor.
@Valerie Daryl Definitely to the self but I could imagine if too many empathetic people were driven out of key jobs, those jobs may suffer and possibly the society as a result. I'd have no idea on the numbers but it'd be interesting to read a study on psychopaths in potentially trauma-inducing careers like paramedics or soldiers etc.
Until very recently I was not even aware psychopaths may _themselves_ look for help of mental health professionals, yet some of them do, as while it feels fantastic to do whatever you want without sense of guilt, never getting depression due to lack of conscience, being able to play people, having no fear etc, however what pisses them off is how the nice life they seem to finally built for them crumbles again and again, because they fail at building lasting relationships. And failure is not what they wish for themselves. Besides then they discover, that they are insanely shallow emotionally, they do feel joy, anger, and... and... well, that sort of it, besides sensations like hunger, freezing or sweating.
Great talk! Check out the book " The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success" by Kevim Dutton. Super interesting and spot on what he is talking about.
I think what I enjoy most about this is all his bundle of nerves before opening with that confession and you know cause of that title but he definitely has anxiety about it and that’s more emotion than most. I hope he teaches that genetics might not actually be so sound to lead on and so reliable. It’s also the fact that psychology is still a very subjective field and a lucrative business. What once was a science that evolved everyday is now kinda hard to wade through what’s solely for profit or agenda vs for the sake of science and someone’s wellbeing..
I've made a mistake of buying his book, thinking it would give me some scientific insights into mind of a psychopath, turns out its few hundred pages of him bragging about some nonsense
Well, glad they weren't promoting the book in this video. Good insight. Authors should be able to rename their books. Here's a candidate for honest book titles. If an author wrote a book titled, "Big Mistake" Don't buy this book unless you like to read a few hundred pages of bragging about nonsense. Some days it would be curious to check out. But that's kind of what we expect from almost all books these days, in the "look at me" generation. Just a thought.
So right about the surgeons, etc. I freak out completely if anyone gets hurt, not because I am scared of blood, but just I can't deal with the pain/horror element. My daughter is so calm and collected and is much better in an emergency, even as a teenager.
I've read books that have made a similar case for the utility of psychopaths. I can see the point. If your child is in need of brain surgery, for an extreme example, you want someone with absolutely cold, clinical detachment, a rock steady hand that will never once waver because of on whom they are working. If you've been falsely accused of a crime, you want a defense lawyer who will pursue any line of defence, no matter how distasteful you might find it. And I can see why and how many psychopaths have risen to lead corporations around the world. But, as we move towards more conscious capitalism, where the overriding duty of a CEO is no longer simply to make money for shareholders, I wonder if their time in particular might be over.
@Wendelin Wißgott Anyone suggesting something suicidal like that (psychopaths/narcissists being beneficial in any way) are speaking from naivity, inexperience and against their own best interest. These diagnosis are just labels, the people behind the labels can't even be called human.
@Erasmus Music Centre Or they make a mistake and instead of trying to own up to it and fix it best as they can, they cover it up so it doesn't hurt their career. Maybe he really is better in many scenarios, but having unempatetic people in a position of power is dangerous in my opinion.
@WindowCat No, they care about cutting the wrong veins - they are excellent at their jobs. What they don't do is tremble because making a mistake might kill you or get upset because the patient reminds them of someone they love.
This is honestly the unfruitful conversational type that I have with my friends. Super important conversation to have or Ted talk (with no one you know ?)
Search for the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. If memory serves, it's a 22-item survey which scores you out of 40. Anything above 30 is a sign of psychopathy, apparently. In its self-test guise, it should be used only as a guide though, of course. The test can be found on several websites, including psychology-tools.
This was fascinating. He must have found a source of adventure and stimulation that did not include antisocial acts. Given the poor responses that psychopaths have to current change technologies, he is a study in sculpting a certain temperament type into prosocial endeavors. His retrospective analysis was amazing.
I was instantly given a social cultural insight listening to Dr. Fallon on the youtube program from the interview in Australia, when he talked about being from a warrior genetic class tracing back to northern Italy (maybe also Sicily) but that he noticed his mother sitting on a three-legged stool and thinking of immigrants, and remembered how loving his family had been to him and how socializing of him they had been. That caused me to see immediately the Italian or Sicilian cliche of the loving and highly social families was a pattern developed to mitigate the warrior genes that may be in the same genetic base. Do Scorsese and the "Godfather" lovers comprehend that the behavior they admire and wish to emulate is really an effort, perhaps unconscious or a little conscious, to disincline psycopathic behavior in the young? Maybe?
Ha, how he describes his character is how people have described me behind my back, and to my face. It's also how I *know* I am, but I've never thought I was a sociopath, just slightly self-centred! I also don't care that that is how I am or how people judge me. The acting out how you *think* you should act strikes home to me. I can give and take people easily, even those people I've known for years, but make new friends easily. I'm generally not very empathic. Conversely, I'm super close to my daughter and act very empathically with her. Again, I think I'm just a bit self-centred rather than a sociopath or psychopath. It'd be interesting to have a PET scan and analysis as described.
Good video, inspiring a lot of thinking about the subject and the example as well. Also it is nice to notice some being doubtful, while some open minded about Pro-Social/Non-Vicious Psychopath. It is......hard not to be open minded to acceptance, considering the fact that there are some more and could be among the people we work with or for (as Dr James mentioned), our doctors and dentists etc.....
I have often felt similar to this in life-just not as overly compassionate, or as easily upset as others around me. I'm great socially with strangers, but not always easy to be with one on one. I'm not out to harm anyone, and I do deeply care for many people in my circle, but I'm wired differently for sure. I wonder if it's got more to do with my upbringing or how my brain works?
It comes from childhood trauma as well, a lack of ability to acknowledge to himself he felt vulnerable, he says he didn't "care", but that moment was a dissociation from his feelings, a trauma response. He actually does. That's why he's trying to change, even if just to try to fit in or be nicer to the people around. But there's research that the mind continues to change and if he wants to get therapy from somekne who understands narcissism, he likely would improve in being able to process his emotions abd therefore be able to hold greater capacity for others' emotions.
I resemble this, but I cry a lot when feeling empathy for both human and animal suffering. This feeling was new to me when I lost the love of my life, Sheila Grace. We we're together for 32 years, married for nearly 27 and had 6 beautiful children together. I was willingly possessed by her spirit to be better from that day forward. It was for our children, but she is the Mother who gave me the unconditional love and nurturing that I was lacking. So I tell our children that she raised me too in many ways.
I feel like this is similar to me. I have the usual lack of empathy and remorse/guilt but I feel like the self-control circuitry is still intact enough to not do bad things all that often
@Exo ViT I dated someone who had that. I would say that I was actually crazier (although now I hide it better/have found ways to stabilize. But I'm always a moment away from inviting someone to brawl or put an employer down to size verbally). And we both had enough intelligence to drive us nuts. On the nice side side we both loved animals. Crazy fucks unite! Enjoy!
super expensive. id like to know everything about my body I can too, but its not worth the quarter of a million dollars id need to do all of it or even the 20,000 id need to do just one
I think it could be the same with many other physchological variants. A team is no good when everyone's the same, we need those ADHD guys and gals, the Aspbergers, the Psychos, the Creatives and the Dummies, all in order to specialize and be more efficient as a group.
I think that he saw real value in other people early on, even when he was young and started to make his first friends and he really found great value in them as friends not as people to exploit or use, even though he could do that he didnt see any real benefit in doing so. Lets say he made two friends and treated them sort of differently, one he was pro-social with the other not so much, and he noticed a difference in how he himself was treated by them. The pro-social friend was willing to go out on a limb for him, while the other did no such thing at all, and in our own quest for life its better to have people around you that are willing to be there for you if needed.
You know, this is kind of insane and I probably just sound like an edgy internetee, but I kind of feel I have had a similar experience in life myself, as far as the detachment and lack of empathy. I cried a lot as a kid, but I haven't shed a tear in years. I feel like I'm just fine and socially aware of others, but I also have observed through life that my relationship with others is always vastly different than that of other persons with each other. I would like to find connections to see how I could possibly be tested myself.
The vast majority of psychopaths are not criminals - they understand that breaking the law is a huge hassle and they probably won't get away with it. I've known a few people like this. They are very successful in the corporate world. This man was raised well and trained well, he has a very high IQ and is able to make his life work. It is when these people go down the criminal route that you see horrors.
That's amazing to find that out about yourself at age 63. // and it's funny that he gets a resounding round of applause at the end and due to his nature... couldn't care less.
Fabulous presentation! Scratches open the surface of a new cavern to explore! Wish my dear friend Bertram S. Brown was still with us! He loved brain spelunking over rum-runners at the officer's club on Sigsbee Island, Key West! Seems like yesterday! See ya on tha beach!
It sums up what I was thinking for a long time, especially last segment. We need 'green' psychopats (I made up this term lul) in military, police, firefighters, mines, etc. Basically imagine any tough and risky job - people with psychopatic traits are best for it. Also my personal theory is, that all mma/fighters, and extreme sports people have those traits. Some of them have almost no fear, or their fear level is a lot higher, than any 'normal' person. (Imagine F1, WRC or MotoGP riders, going 350+ etc.) What is interesting also, super atractive females flock to such guys naturally (I guess becasue from bilogical standpoint, they have highest chance of survival).
He could care less what you think...he could care less if you live or die...and he sees your tears as weakness. Those are the cold, harsh facts about how psychopaths truly think.
wow, this is so humorous! and he doesn't care🙈😹 but when he said if I had heard it at 21 it would mean I had time to change... that sounded like caring. Better we know less about ourselves and more about how to get along with others...
It's interesting that his close relations are cold, because he's just very utility or logical minded, and it makes me wonder what motivates him to do public talks like he's been doing. He starter doing them before he found out he had these traits... So we can't assume it's solely because he wants to create more empathy towards these traits and that they are wrongly associated exclusively with murderers. It may be that now, or something else, or something else plus that. I wonder if he's ever asked himself, maybe it's in an interview out there.
I for one think that empathy is a lost gift these days in many people who are absorbed in a me, me, me world that’s dictated to them by social media. Without empathy, our society will continue to decline. I’d love to hear what his family members have experienced! We as a society have to put our focus back on G0d and not worry about what other humans opinions of us are. We all are flawed and fall short, and realizing this and asking for G0d to help us is the first step. Kudos to him for sharing his story.
I remember him from a television documentary a long time ago, telling the same story. Here he is, being dead serious, and the audience is perceiving it as standup comedy.
"When people tell you who they are, listen." Some of these sociopathic/narcissistic types like attention so much, or are so shallow that they'll reveal themselves with glee. When they do, take them at their word! Don't think 'well, they're harmless & self-aware." Also, learn to read people and note their actions. Because some of these creeps are too clever to just tell you who they are.
My housemate is such a person, and uses his act of "narcissistic-sociopathic-self absorbed" self-awareness to take people unawares, when it really comes down to it. Laughing and smiling with you, he will admit to being this way, and you may be inclined to believe (most are) that since he is just stating it so freely and openly, that he's understanding himself and taking measures to counter-balance these traits. But when you have been hurt by him, it is just "Well, I told you so...", and a smug grin.
Good point. On a tangent, the way I heard it was, "When someone tells you who they are, take it wisely. When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
i guess it is true that if a surgeons only concern is perfection (to prove to themselves, once again, how incredible they are) that probably gives the patient the best possible odds.
You described me to a t. I have always felt I was different. I laughat serious things so I'm not good at funerals. I finally accepted that I'm not that interested in the daily lives of family or others. I'm happy 😊
I’m married to a sociopath. It’s horrible. It’s nice to see people out there, sociopaths and psychopaths, who are self aware and want to treat their conditions like mental illnesses-properly. Healthily. Morally.
"I bond with strangers" I kinda get that. I can have a fun time with a group of people then not recognize them the next week. At parties, I tend to hang out with my peers' kids because they don't care about me (which is what I want). When I hang out with adults, it always seems like they want some sort of connection that I am not interested in.
Sociopath here. I laughed my ass off during this video. I was diagnosed after a childhood incident and do my damnedest to be pro-social, but man, do the urges strike at times. I know there are things I might never feel, but I'm going to keep working to understand them.
@TheBlackLodge I was 7, so some of this has been told to me instead of me remembering it. I beat another, older kid's head in with a tree branch because he was being rough with a cat. Allegedly, I was laughing at how the boy flopped about on the ground and asking if I could have the cat. They couldn't make me feel bad about what I did, but I was bummed that they didn't give me the cat. I still hold animals in higher regard than people.
I love how he ends it with telling everyone he's just pretending to care.
I don't get why he even does this speech if he is a psychopath? Like, why go along with it?
It's just how it is, no point in coating it. It's peaceful and liberating.
@Eudis Actually, you might be on to something there. He doesn't get the same subjective enjoyment from caring for others, so it's probably a major drag for him to actually put on such an act. Therefore, he's doing it as an almost completely selfless choice - with the one exception that he might actually want to be remembered and loved by others, despite low empathy.
I remember gushing to a surgeon once for saving my life, he looked at me like I was something he had just scraped off his shoe, I still love that guy though 🥰
@Chris Thats funny asl 😂
I had brain surgery. My interaction with my surgeon at my first follow-up will haunt me forever. I was sitting, slouched in my chair in the patient room, not really conscious of my body posture. The surgeon came in, and plopped into a chair near me, matching my posture, which seeing him sit that way jarred me, and I sit up straight. That man cut a hole in my skull, and chopped at my brain, my life was so literally in his hands, and I felt like I was disrespecting him. At the same time, like what can I do/say? Thanks for saving my life, dude! I'll sit up straight in my chair and say "thanks" ... cause that's enough ... but it's nothing ... Like, those are just words people say, like, "thanks for visiting," ... I don't really know what I'm trying to say ...
@Hansel Mansell its a coping mechanism due to witnessing gore
@Hansel Mansell I had to abandon my parents hope of me becoming a doctor because of squeamishness. I got into Uni and finished a year of medicine tho. Took me a while to realize I couldn't do it. I don't think I could ever get desensitized.
Yes, definitely met a surgeon like that
I was at a Mental Health conference back in July where a renown researcher told the story of Mr Fallon. He further estimated that it may not only take the abnormal brain structure of a psychopath to make a destructive person, it also may require bad nurture in childhood. He estimated that Mr Fallon did not become a destructive person because of relatively good nurture in childhood. Amazing to hear his own take.
@Nathan Bellamy doubt. And not sure why you would want that
It's said the biggest babies make the most excuses for impulse
@Nathan Bellamy hence the reason he said nurture is a big part.
@Derrick Talbot
Fascinating! Thank you for taking the time to write that all out.
Rules.. I haven't thought about it a ton, but a weak, unfinished theory comes to mind: Perhaps ALL 'good' behavior comes from rules.
When a child is two, they learn "If you run into the road, I will smack your butt" - that is the rule.
When they are seven they learn more subtle rules "You must act as if all men are created equal" (despite knowing that your own desires are more important), so wait your turn in line. And that is the new rule.
At later ages, we learn to model the minds of other people and act so as to promote a good image of our self in their mind - and that becomes the new rule.
I think that kids in chaotic homes never learn the rules because there are no rules. Whether you are hugged or hit depends randomly on the mood of the parent.
And it's impossible to learn how to model someone else's mind when others are so chaotic.
So figuring out functional rules for yourself - good work. I don't think that you're as different as you'd guess. You just consciously know the rules that drive you. We think it is because we are 'good' people.
But all it takes is getting stuck on an airplane at the gate for four hours to show what a thin veneer that goodness actually is. :)
I'm sure the theory needs plenty of work, but if it's valid at all, it would hint that your 'openly evil' just means "rules to be good that I wrote myself rather than other people teaching me how to build a 'conscience' " .
I remember listening to him lecture about this before, and mentioning a specific instance where he was investigating a deadly virus that he believed was contracted in a bat cave. He didn't tell his brother that they were at risk because he thought it would be fun to spelunk, but didn't tell his brother that the reason no one was visiting the cave and/or there were dead animals nearby was because it carried deadly contagion. He never told his brother that if he touched the floors, that he would contract Marburg virus and die bleeding from all his orifices. They enjoyed the caves. After his brother found out, their relationship changed. He may think he's a good guy based on his religious framework, but there are probably a lot of situations like this one that outline how dangerous he is as a companion. I would love to study this man.
I saw a video where people who knew him called him out on stage for some of his “fun” stories and told the truth behind what happened. They also reminded him of other dangerous and thoughtless things he did with, say, his kids. He had trouble seeing what the problem was.
He’s not a good guy.
Don’t believe psychopaths’ self-assessments. That’s basic. We all know it, but when we’re faced with a cuddly TED talk, too many people decide to forget.
maybe there's something there with that natural attraction towards religion as well
I just try to _appreciate_ the fact that if Dr. Fallon didn't rip my head off it's because he wouldn't regard it as a particularly interesting endeavor.
There are more psychopaths out there then generally believed, you probly know one or two. That guy who's totally oblivious to your reactions to something or your opinion in general without even being conscious of it for instance
Courageous of this man to step out as he did. Reminds me of the movie “interview with the vampire”, as most narcissists/sociopaths will tend to remain forever unaccountable for their tendencies and lowball actions. As it goes, there is a spectrum within anti social disorders, with many persons able to carry on somewhat “normal” lives. Cudos to this fellow for embracing his situation with humility and sharing his story.
Can't be courageous if you can't feel fear dude lmao
People saying he doesn’t have courage are ignoring the spirit of this guy’s research i.e. maybe our preconceptions of psychopaths are incomplete. How does one describe the feeling, emotion, or motive behind “courage”? A selfless act in service of some greater cause or person? Why couldn’t a psychopath act with courage? They have a sense of self, the willpower to act, & the intellect to understand a greater cause or person other than themself. They just don’t have the emotional depth to fully embody what we’d consider to be “courage” or any other trait. But they could certainly act with courage. 99% of courageous acts for “normal” people also include some measure of positive feedback - other than giving up your life. Do we discount everyone’s courage because they got something about it? We praise soldiers, cops, and doctors for getting paid to do their jobs all the time lol.
Courage? they don't have virtue. It's just a fuck it moment.
That spectrum concept is outdated as far as I know. U can be a super psycho, but if u manage to use ur character within the norms of society you probably end up as a high regarded CEO or something.
So not the degree of that trait is the criteria but rather the way it is implememted in ur life.
He's brave to be able to admit and take ownership of what he discovered about himself.
@Leonardo Figueiredo I understand where everyone is coming from but he is also working to better himself for his family and friends. How is that not caring? It's something.
No, he is not brave, he even said that he does not care, so it's not hard for him to tell about, so he is not brave
Nah, he just doesn't care
He's not brave, he's incapable of feeling fear or shame from admitting it
No, he just doesn't care.
The neurosurgeon who did my surgery was probably incapable of feeling empathy. But wow, what an incredible surgeon.
I had brain surgery. My interaction with my surgeon at my first follow-up will haunt me forever. I was sitting, slouched in my chair in the patient room, not really conscious of my body posture. The surgeon came in, and plopped into a chair near me, matching my posture, which seeing him sit that way jarred me, and I sit up straight. That man cut a hole in my skull, and chopped at my brain, my life was so literally in his hands, and I felt like I was disrespecting him. At the same time, like what can I do/say? Thanks for saving my life, dude! I'll sit up straight in my chair and say "thanks" ... cause that's enough ... but it's nothing ... Like, those are just words people say, like, "thanks for visiting," ... I don't really know what I'm trying to say ...
I think to be okay with cutting someone open you have to have low empathy. I have a unique experience with this because I was on SSRIs. I stopped feeling all empathy. Music, art, pain, nothing moved me. I would've made a pretty good surgeon. I don't really want to share too much, but I offered to do something that would've haunted me now that I'm awake again. Now I'm off of them for about 2 years and I can feel again, if I had to do surgery I would faint. I now fully understand that there are people who act somewhat normal but feel nothing.
I don't care how empathetic my surgeon might be. I want her to be really really good at surgery.
Almost exactly what I said about the Surgical Oncologist who layed open my neck in a "Radical Left Neck Dissection".
When I first met her, she seemed brusque and "all business". (maybe a bit cold)
What I actually said to her was, "I looked that up; you have balls of steel!"
The best part was when she finished, went to talk to my sisters and was really pumped up about how well the surgery went. That went far in my appreciation of her total skill set.
A lot of psychopaths choose medicine as a career according to statistics. For the power, ego and public respect.
This man's facial expressions at the reactions of the crowd is priceless.
He's telling you he's a psychopath and they're clapping...
Honestly, Mr. Fallon intended for them to laugh. Didn't you notice the way he led up to saying it was him and then said, "It was me!"? It was quite funny.
@Lori Emerns he's friend did not say he was great a parties for nothing. there is an art to telling a story and he is versed in this and the people respond as any of us would.
I found it very jarring - rude even - that they were laughing when he revealed the scan belonged to him. But at the same time, I understand why they were laughing. Surprise and shock can cause laughter, even in the face of the grimmest of matters, and when people have others laughing around them, they may feel relaxed enough/inclined to laugh, too. If this was a one-on-one conversation, the reaction could be greatly different in that regard, but the shock of it could still easily ellict (nervous) laughter from the recipient learning this information.
I'm listening to people laugh and I'm sitting over here horrified. Just shows you how some people react differently to psychopaths...
You're laughing. He's telling you he's a psychopath and you're laughing.
Fascinating. There seem to be so many varied dimensions to the human psyche that we gloss over in our panic to find a "simple answer". Psychopathology is probably a spectrum, and most certainly a basket of sub-components. It would take a huge amount of self-awareness and self-control, but it appears that some psychopaths can control it and adapt to what part of the world they can perceive. I saw an interview of a diagnosed psychopath who was crystal-clear on a few points: he spoke because he had nothing to gain or lose, his perception of the human world was peripheral at most but he did comprehend there were entities (other human beings) "out there", he knew pain and did not wish it on another being, and he understood the pain he could cause would probably be because of inattentiveness or negligence on his part. His answer was to focus, very hard, on the human world at the edges of his comprehension, following what clues he could gather through information sometimes gained second-hand. He was clearly very intelligent, but he described his existence almost like a 'brain in a jar' experience. I couldn't comprehend a lot of what he said, but I'm glad I listened.
@friskeysunset I'm really interested in who it is. Do you remember now?
Yeah, sorry, I can't remember where I saw it. Definitely wasn't Charles Manson, though.
Are you speaking of Charles Manson?
@SkelterBane An excellent guide is simply the awareness that in many ways others are very much like yourself: Averse to pain, interested in pleasure, seeking constructive family relationships, and more completely seeking friendship, love, meaningful work.... The Golden Rule oversimplifies matters but 'treating others as you would like to be treated' has its root in acknowledging how alike humans are, and that we are kin to each other not just genetically but emotionally and morally.
@friskeysunset I'd be fascinated to listen. Do you have more information, such that allows for a productive search for this interview? Thanks in advance.
One thing that isn’t often noted about psychopaths is how endearing they can be. Charming, yes, but also they come across as more innocent and endearing than anything usually.
@theSullied actually you should look into real stories about tragic situations, statistical facts and meta-analysis about how humans survive crises. We are far more likely to band together and cooperate when our life is on the line.
Deprogram yourself 🤙
@David Esfandiary you know I'm right lmfao you people think you're civilized but when you get hungry enough you'll do anything.
If this guy was born a generation or two earlier in New York with a slightly worse family, he probably would’ve ended up being a mob boss.
He isn't Italian.
@Jonathan Reyes Nice one 😂. Sure that flew over many heads
Jimmy the Nice.
That’s what I thought when he mentioned the teamsters
The Mothia
Being a psychopath and being a serial killer are two different things. It depends not only of your genes, but also the enviroment. Maybe he was raised in a good structured family. Besides the story he told, he maybe didn't commited anything worse (like murder itself as he did a lot of harmful things) because of that. He grew up and ended up doing a good job to the society. He locked himself in this job, maybe that brought good emotions to himself, and that kind of pleasure he can still feel.
And now i learned one more thing about this kind of brain: They might not always be aware they have this issue. I really didn't know that. That's amazing. I know he doesn't care and he maybe this time wasn't trying to manipulate, but telling his story to the public made him feel awesome. He doesn't have emotional empathy, but i found very interesting that he has the acknowledgment that his relatives thinks he is not a good person to be around.
The same logical point does apply with pdophiles as well, being a pdophile is a different thing from being a sexual prdator. The environment I most definitely feel is a factor between both pdophiles and non-pdophiles that have committed acts of child molstation from those who had not.
Exactly like how being a psychopath isn't mutually exclusive with being a murderer, the same fact applies he between pdophiles and child prdators.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents were good, both interviewed, good environment, people who knew them agreed 🤔…
@Golden Lamb 🐏 Золотой Ягнёнок people can kill and do all sorts of nonsense out of pure emotions. Emotionally unstable individuals are the most scary.
I would love to watch an in-depth conversation between this guy and renowned narcissist and psychologist Sam Vaknin. The nature vs. nurture debate is never-ending, and endlessly fascinating.
@JesusIsGODofALLThat is the debate. Nobody takes it literally except for you apparently
There is no nature vs nurture debate, at least not among those who are intimately aware of the topic. If you want a short answer, we have an inherent nature that can take on different forms through nurture. What that inherent nature is, and how nurturing that nature will affect it is the real question.
The answer has always been pretty obviously both, nature and nurture are interconnected.
@Anaximander I'll take your nonexistent credentials to heart 👍
Absolutely we need detached people but we dont need violent or cruel people! This man is funny funny funny! Charming and mesmerizing great speaker easy to losten to probably an excellent author!
@Etta Listen to the talk again, he gives you some examples of jobs that are easier to do efficiently if one has a lack of empathy; surgeon, special forces soldier etc.
@Gym Monkey in the information age, most managers are redundant. Those who argue as you do tend to overplay such issues to justify their own existence.
@Thomas Prislac Jr. it's not about leadership but management. People lack discipline and expect managers to deal with their lack of it, then label managers as "unethical and unprincipled". You might as well change career to child care, at least you'd be certain you are dealing with children on a daily basis.
As far as psychopaths go, Fallon is a success story. I’ve no doubt he’s fallen short in his interpersonal relationships, and that he doesn’t feel regret, but that’s the very definition of a psychopath. He’s also been governed by the moral code he was taught growing up, and has become a socially normal, responsible, and successful member of society.
Demonizing Psychopaths as a group is blaming a person for something they have no control over, AND treating them as irredeemable mutants who aren’t worth the effort and expense to treat, despite evidence that they can function normally when given the proper environment to develop.
@Andrew Haywood damn people, Just because he doesnt feel empathy it doesnt mean he is stupid, or incompassionate. For example, If someone Tell him their parents died, he wouldnt feel much, but that doesnt mean he is incapable of giving a hug and showing sympathy. Everyone is capable of doing that. And Who cares If there isnt that much feeling behind it, actions are important. Its called cognitive empathy, its pretty much putting yourself in another persons shoes. Psychopaths are probably better than this than normal people Just because they have to compensate since they lack normal empathy
What evidence ? Utter tripe.
@Andrew Haywood Hah! A therapist.
and i have no doubt hes fallon
I like how the piano player plays an ominous bundle of notes when he says “I scored a little too high on the psychopath test” 😂
Humanity is way more complex and nuanced than most or any of us realize. Dating and loving someone who was hyper functional who shared that they had been diagnosed with numerous mental health issues really made me put the brakes on being judgmental towards anyone, even myself.
@Nicanor Benitez Let me rephrase, definitive statements are usually not helpful. Whereas labels can be helpful at times, even though they run the risk of oversimplifying matters.
@TheFreeThinkingRyan fr, even know it exists in a book (DSM IV I'm looking at you!) and it happens to more people its kinda conforting.
@Paul Duffyactually they’re helpful in some ways. For example, I couldn’t begin getting my life back until I could label what I wanted to understand and overcome.
So true. Labels are not helpful.
I’ve heard him tell this story before and it was totally different detail about how he found out. It seems lying without compunction is also a feature of psychopathy.
@Michael Roman sussy
@R G Suspicious as fuck*
@Un Utilisateur sus af?? what are you saying? ENGLISH!
@lordvore There was no difference, handcrafted is sus af. It's psychopaths all the way down
What was the difference?
this was an hilarious talk. showing that there's more to the psychopathic mindset than [insert popular serial killer] type tendencies. bravo.
I worry time to time that I might be one as well as being autistic, I learned that antisocial personality disorder/psychopathy can be comorbid with autism spectrum disorder.
Autism and psychopathy isn't mutually exclusive.
@Autistic Autumn how can you know? there is a test?
@Stef B That is what I was thinking its such a great example of how nuture can intervene when nature has gone wrong .
@Dorian Glover hahahah think mine was 33. 🤣
You meet the criteria for being a psychopath at 20??
@Ferguson Lol mine was a 37
I remember this story from about a decade ago.
Researchers also said that the brain chemistry plus a head injury and bad parenting all contributed to negative psychopathic behaviour (in several studies).
Fascinating. I've heard about this guy but never seen him before. He also has that really charming, charismatic thing that all the "best" psychopaths have. I am recovering from childhood trauma and I've sometimes wondered whether I am a sociopath. Maybe I should get the brain scan...
between you and me, these guys have something figured out. sure, murder is ignoble and often pointless, but defense of and absolute control over the self is all that matters in life.
Started this video and shared with my friends group.. Kept watching and realized I'm exposing myself a little too much and deleted it from the chat. Damn this hit close to home.. Including diagnosing myself and asking my smartest friends what they thought. This was spot on.. Thank you 😘
I'd be deeply curious how you'd behave while high on MDMA. Everything you described as a pro-social psychopath sounds like me, but when I'm high on MDMA, it unlocks a genuinely loving and empathic side of me that I quite like.
It works on octopuses… octopi… octopodes… whatever
They gave an octopus ecstasy and it became more friendly
@Otemple T weed eliminates road rage tendencies or people who tend to make me rage. It's a win win for all!😆
This was so interesting! The thing about many mental illnesses or conditions is that genetics "load the gun" by giving you the genetics that could allow you to develop them, but the genes will not manifest unless there are triggers in your environment for it to happen. For example, not everyone with the genes that make them high-risk for schizophrenia will develop schizophrenia. It often happens after a stressful and painful childhood+adolescence or drug abuse that signal to the body to activate those genes for whatever reason.
This guy is doing a lot of humanity. He's going where no one went before. We are privileged to listen to him, a "psychopath" by scan and his friends opinions, but also a brave pioneer for humanity in my opinion and I hope others.
@Shadysif you're acting like hes going to go on a rampage at any minute lmfao.
Nothing brave or courageous, he's dead on the inside, as far as caring about others, is concerned. Everything he's doing is self serving.
Everyone around him knows what he is, and he doesn't care. He shouldn't be applauded, he's living the ultimate narcissist fantasy, flaunting his condition in front of complete strangers, who are gullible enough to praise him for being "honest".
This whole talk, was disturbing. He's a timebomb, that could go off at any moment.
@Michael Harris So strong! So couragous!
@Tin Whistle & Music I believe you.
Something I recently realized is that personality disorders are also on a spectrum. I had trouble understanding if a relative was a narcissist until I realized they are probably on a spectrum and just not as bad as some narcs.
Yes, that's exactly how characteristics like narcissism work, EVERYONE is narcissistic and supposedly men are moreso on average than women, but only people who REALLY have it bad get called "malignant narcissists"
I teared up a little with that closing bit. Not compelled or even encouraged by his emotions and yet James Fallon chooses to care. Academics argue endlessly about the reality of free will and whether we are all just a product of nature and nurture, but IMHO this is a practical example.
Fascinating. I often get the question about narcissists, why and what can we do. Unless someone wants to change, we can't do much. It can be helpful to consider it's genetic, it can be easier to move on. That helped me close the door on a relationship with a narcissist, when I viewed her as a "psychopath lite" - which was really quite accurate (yes, obsessed with "saving the world" while treating everyone like dirt).
My problem was that I got caught up on the narcissist word, therefore I forgot that they were actually PSYCHOPATHS in many cases. As much feeling as I got from the inside impd community it kept me stock in terms of not moving on due to my own minimizing of psychopathology here! In many cases narcissism has become a polite word for consistently sporadic psycho-NUTJOB. Now I better STFU and watch this video now
"Obsessed with "saving the world" while treating everyone like dirt"
This is an interesting description
So fascinating. I too knew someone who wanted to do great things in the world for humanity, but treated all the people around them (who really wanted to help) like garbage.
They were never officially diagnosed but everyone pretty much describes them as a narcissist and they really fit the bill. They also were certain they were an empath so it made for really bizarre interactions.
I watched them on multiple occasions manufacture compelling emotions and language to manipulate the situation to their favor and afterwords being so pleased with themselves.
I think the whole “saving / changing the world” thing can indeed come from a place of pure ego and self-centeredness. Like they alone are the only person who has the right ideas of how things should be and how people should behave.
Yikes! In the late 1970's there was a Linus quote that I heard and struck me, "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." And so, there sat Linus on the floor holding his comfort blanket . . .
That bit about realising that you are a psychopath and not caring, kinda proved it, really struck a chord with me. I was on a course about autism and realised I’m autistic, so I went home and read everything I could find about autism, which kinda proved it!
WOW! This just made me realize that my mother is a Social Psychopath. She's always exhibited the signs he says he has. It makes so much sense. Thanks James.
I knew three boys who may have been psychopaths, when I was growing up. One thing I noticed about them was that they had no real emotions. They never showed anger, impatience, disappointment, disgust, or irritation. They also had a disdain for anyone else being angry, sad, impatient, etc. It seemed that when other people showed emotion it brought out their worst ways.
Alot of psychos react that way, they see emotions as ppl trying to manipulate them, because they don't grasp what they actually are.
His last phrase made me so emotional!!! Great talk!
i'm crying this is so freaking funny. I wouldn't be surprised if this happened to me, both sides of my family has screws all the way loose
this was very interesting, funny, enlightening, ... best 15 minutes i;ve spent in awhile. Thank you, Mr. Fallon.
Give me a funny scientist to listen to ALL DAY. Loved the talk, we lost my husbands Dad to Alzheimer’s disease. He told me the following morning after an “episode”, he said that he felt like he was having a horrible nightmare and was watching himself act out, but was not able to control himself. I found that very interesting because we had never read or heard anything like that. I think that inflammation is definitely a factor in why he may have developed it.
This man is not being "brave" for telling his story being a psychopaths, he just thought it is an interesting story to tell. Interesting dude.
@Kent Jensen you may be a milquetoast human being, but that does not mean no one else can be interesting, funny, talented, or otherwise better than you
sounds like a skill issue tbh
Bravery requires overcoming something that scares or embarrasses you. Considering that psychopaths don’t feel these emotions they literally can’t be brave. Because they’re never afraid or embarrassed to begin with.
Anyone saying he's brave seems to forget that he's talking about being a sociopath which means he just doesn't care about your opinion. It's a cool talk, he's funny, but he's got no need to be brave because those feelings of fear just don't arise from a judgement based position.
It's just YOU people who have a need to project something like that because, surprise, you're not a sociopath and you're putting yourself in his shoes. He doesn't care.
Public speaking is a very common fear
What a brave statement
Great speaker, great speech. Very thought provoking. Thanks for uploading.
@Tom A. Hawk It reminds me of Louis CK, superficially. Where Louis' delivery feels very rough, off-the-cuff, and "my world is crumbling", yet it's all choreographed.
@Tom A. Hawk we could go round and round with your argument. I.e why can't I critique your critique etc ad nauseum.
But at the end of the day your a modern day hater and troll under the guise of a genuine critique
Get up there and show them how it's done pal.
@Nathan Bellamy That's a false equivalent. Just because someone critiques doesn't make them a professional. Since when are we not allowed to critique????
Oh wait.
@Tom A. Hawk get up there and share something then sideline critic lol.
Really, I found it a tad frustrating at times. Like listening to someone stutter. I do like his comedic misdirection. Caught me off guard even tho I knew it was coming.
Great ideas at the end. Demonstrates that each one of us are on a continuum of emotional 'normalcy.' Thanks for sharing!!
Good watch! I must say I wouldn't mind some more empathetic CEOs, but there definitely are fields where psychopathy would be an advantage.
@Gava CEOs without empathy = a lot of people being oppressed, taken advantage of, etc. It does create a wealth gap.
@Gava It has in recent years though, with progressively more jobs becoming automated and the wealth divide growing wider as many of those jobs are no longer available and the majority of the money saved goes to the rich and not into the communities.
Empathy on it's own doesn't make money. CEO's can be empathetic, but only if it generates money, and i don't see problem in that, since economy is not a zero sum game.
CEO's becoming rich doesn't make poor people more poor.
@Valerie Daryl Definitely to the self but I could imagine if too many empathetic people were driven out of key jobs, those jobs may suffer and possibly the society as a result. I'd have no idea on the numbers but it'd be interesting to read a study on psychopaths in potentially trauma-inducing careers like paramedics or soldiers etc.
Advantage to society or the self?
Until very recently I was not even aware psychopaths may _themselves_ look for help of mental health professionals, yet some of them do, as while it feels fantastic to do whatever you want without sense of guilt, never getting depression due to lack of conscience, being able to play people, having no fear etc, however what pisses them off is how the nice life they seem to finally built for them crumbles again and again, because they fail at building lasting relationships. And failure is not what they wish for themselves. Besides then they discover, that they are insanely shallow emotionally, they do feel joy, anger, and... and... well, that sort of it, besides sensations like hunger, freezing or sweating.
They can get depressed and he only scored 20 out of 40 on the test since falls under boarder line psychopath
Great talk! Check out the book " The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success" by Kevim Dutton. Super interesting and spot on what he is talking about.
I think what I enjoy most about this is all his bundle of nerves before opening with that confession and you know cause of that title but he definitely has anxiety about it and that’s more emotion than most.
I hope he teaches that genetics might not actually be so sound to lead on and so reliable. It’s also the fact that psychology is still a very subjective field and a lucrative business. What once was a science that evolved everyday is now kinda hard to wade through what’s solely for profit or agenda vs for the sake of science and someone’s wellbeing..
I really enjoyed watching this video. Very amusing and entertaining. You did a wonderful job Mr. James Fallon.
Yes he did❣️
I've made a mistake of buying his book, thinking it would give me some scientific insights into mind of a psychopath, turns out its few hundred pages of him bragging about some nonsense
@Kari Ann slavery IS economic and powers lol
Well, glad they weren't promoting the book in this video. Good insight. Authors should be able to rename their books. Here's a candidate for honest book titles. If an author wrote a book titled, "Big Mistake" Don't buy this book unless you like to read a few hundred pages of bragging about nonsense. Some days it would be curious to check out. But that's kind of what we expect from almost all books these days, in the "look at me" generation. Just a thought.
@R. Taylor *Insight. "Incite" is to encourage or stir up, as in violence or illegality.
But agreed.
@Kari Ann The whole thread is about him...if you don't wanted to hear about him and his experiences why are you hear?
i love the look he gives at the end when everybody cheers and hes like: " yea, i dont care"
"This confession has meant nothing."
At 6:15 he does like an irritated side glance when the laughing starts and then seems to scratch his head like he doesn't get it.
@CrabbyOof course he cares deeply about sone things .. I honestly think Fallon is full
Of shit about 25% of the time.
He's like, "I played those suckers good."
So right about the surgeons, etc. I freak out completely if anyone gets hurt, not because I am scared of blood, but just I can't deal with the pain/horror element. My daughter is so calm and collected and is much better in an emergency, even as a teenager.
That was awfully interesting. Really. How someone got to know themselves to this level. Still not all the way, but surprising enough.
Fascinating! Funny humble psycho!! Goes to show you can start anything at any age! Kudos to 63!
I've read books that have made a similar case for the utility of psychopaths. I can see the point. If your child is in need of brain surgery, for an extreme example, you want someone with absolutely cold, clinical detachment, a rock steady hand that will never once waver because of on whom they are working. If you've been falsely accused of a crime, you want a defense lawyer who will pursue any line of defence, no matter how distasteful you might find it. And I can see why and how many psychopaths have risen to lead corporations around the world. But, as we move towards more conscious capitalism, where the overriding duty of a CEO is no longer simply to make money for shareholders, I wonder if their time in particular might be over.
ESG isn't looking so hot.
@Wendelin Wißgott Anyone suggesting something suicidal like that (psychopaths/narcissists being beneficial in any way) are speaking from naivity, inexperience and against their own best interest.
These diagnosis are just labels, the people behind the labels can't even be called human.
@Still Gaming™ You don't understand what empathy is then.
@Erasmus Music Centre Or they make a mistake and instead of trying to own up to it and fix it best as they can, they cover it up so it doesn't hurt their career.
Maybe he really is better in many scenarios, but having unempatetic people in a position of power is dangerous in my opinion.
@WindowCat No, they care about cutting the wrong veins - they are excellent at their jobs. What they don't do is tremble because making a mistake might kill you or get upset because the patient reminds them of someone they love.
Needed conversation, and wonderfully hilarious.
This is honestly the unfruitful conversational type that I have with my friends. Super important conversation to have or Ted talk (with no one you know ?)
Thank you for sharing James. You are a good man in my book.
Holy crap! I’ve been having a very similar conversation with myself about myself. Would love to be tested.
Costly affair i imagine... I'd like to get tested, too
Search for the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. If memory serves, it's a 22-item survey which scores you out of 40. Anything above 30 is a sign of psychopathy, apparently. In its self-test guise, it should be used only as a guide though, of course. The test can be found on several websites, including psychology-tools.
This was fascinating. He must have found a source of adventure and stimulation that did not include antisocial acts. Given the poor responses that psychopaths have to current change technologies, he is a study in sculpting a certain temperament type into prosocial endeavors. His retrospective analysis was amazing.
You can see his nature start to shine through around 6:15 when everyone starts laughing while he wants to keep talking lol
I've heard about this guy. It's fascinating to hear directly from the source!
I find this so fascinating, thank you for this great video👌
I was instantly given a social cultural insight listening to Dr. Fallon on the youtube program from the interview in Australia, when he talked about being from a warrior genetic class tracing back to northern Italy (maybe also Sicily) but that he noticed his mother sitting on a three-legged stool and thinking of immigrants, and remembered how loving his family had been to him and how socializing of him they had been. That caused me to see immediately the Italian or Sicilian cliche of the loving and highly social families was a pattern developed to mitigate the warrior genes that may be in the same genetic base. Do Scorsese and the "Godfather" lovers comprehend that the behavior they admire and wish to emulate is really an effort, perhaps unconscious or a little conscious, to disincline psycopathic behavior in the young? Maybe?
@lockandloadlikehell How am I a runt at 6'2 and 190 pounds? 😂😂🤸♂🤸♂
Ha, how he describes his character is how people have described me behind my back, and to my face. It's also how I *know* I am, but I've never thought I was a sociopath, just slightly self-centred! I also don't care that that is how I am or how people judge me. The acting out how you *think* you should act strikes home to me. I can give and take people easily, even those people I've known for years, but make new friends easily. I'm generally not very empathic. Conversely, I'm super close to my daughter and act very empathically with her. Again, I think I'm just a bit self-centred rather than a sociopath or psychopath. It'd be interesting to have a PET scan and analysis as described.
Good video, inspiring a lot of thinking about the subject and the example as well. Also it is nice to notice some being doubtful, while some open minded about Pro-Social/Non-Vicious Psychopath. It is......hard not to be open minded to acceptance, considering the fact that there are some more and could be among the people we work with or for (as Dr James mentioned), our doctors and dentists etc.....
I have often felt similar to this in life-just not as overly compassionate, or as easily upset as others around me. I'm great socially with strangers, but not always easy to be with one on one. I'm not out to harm anyone, and I do deeply care for many people in my circle, but I'm wired differently for sure.
I wonder if it's got more to do with my upbringing or how my brain works?
It comes from childhood trauma as well, a lack of ability to acknowledge to himself he felt vulnerable, he says he didn't "care", but that moment was a dissociation from his feelings, a trauma response. He actually does. That's why he's trying to change, even if just to try to fit in or be nicer to the people around. But there's research that the mind continues to change and if he wants to get therapy from somekne who understands narcissism, he likely would improve in being able to process his emotions abd therefore be able to hold greater capacity for others' emotions.
I resemble this, but I cry a lot when feeling empathy for both human and animal suffering. This feeling was new to me when I lost the love of my life, Sheila Grace. We we're together for 32 years, married for nearly 27 and had 6 beautiful children together. I was willingly possessed by her spirit to be better from that day forward. It was for our children, but she is the Mother who gave me the unconditional love and nurturing that I was lacking. So I tell our children that she raised me too in many ways.
I feel like this is similar to me. I have the usual lack of empathy and remorse/guilt but I feel like the self-control circuitry is still intact enough to not do bad things all that often
I really want to get this test done tbh. I wanna see my emotional brain scans haha
@Exo ViT I dated someone who had that. I would say that I was actually crazier (although now I hide it better/have found ways to stabilize. But I'm always a moment away from inviting someone to brawl or put an employer down to size verbally). And we both had enough intelligence to drive us nuts. On the nice side side we both loved animals. Crazy fucks unite! Enjoy!
@Jeff Thurber haha I have BPD so maybe lmao.
Narcissist
(just kidding)
super expensive. id like to know everything about my body I can too, but its not worth the quarter of a million dollars id need to do all of it or even the 20,000 id need to do just one
Came for the science, stayed for the stand up comedy 😂
Good for him. He has the heart of a true scientist.
I love that nobody got the final punchline… feel bad for him though especially as it was such a good ending
I think it could be the same with many other physchological variants. A team is no good when everyone's the same, we need those ADHD guys and gals, the Aspbergers, the Psychos, the Creatives and the Dummies, all in order to specialize and be more efficient as a group.
Great talk and hilarious!!
Thank you
Kinda one of the coolest endings in spoken scientific prowess. A+
I think that he saw real value in other people early on, even when he was young and started to make his first friends and he really found great value in them as friends not as people to exploit or use, even though he could do that he didnt see any real benefit in doing so.
Lets say he made two friends and treated them sort of differently, one he was pro-social with the other not so much, and he noticed a difference in how he himself was treated by them. The pro-social friend was willing to go out on a limb for him, while the other did no such thing at all, and in our own quest for life its better to have people around you that are willing to be there for you if needed.
You know, this is kind of insane and I probably just sound like an edgy internetee, but I kind of feel I have had a similar experience in life myself, as far as the detachment and lack of empathy. I cried a lot as a kid, but I haven't shed a tear in years. I feel like I'm just fine and socially aware of others, but I also have observed through life that my relationship with others is always vastly different than that of other persons with each other. I would like to find connections to see how I could possibly be tested myself.
The vast majority of psychopaths are not criminals - they understand that breaking the law is a huge hassle and they probably won't get away with it. I've known a few people like this. They are very successful in the corporate world. This man was raised well and trained well, he has a very high IQ and is able to make his life work. It is when these people go down the criminal route that you see horrors.
I can relate. We can be charming and tell a witty story, but it takes effort to put on our human suit and act like everyone else.
That's amazing to find that out about yourself at age 63. // and it's funny that he gets a resounding round of applause at the end and due to his nature... couldn't care less.
They gave a round of applause to the slap heard round the world too.
Amazing! Cold calculated empathy :)
The doctor makes valid points and gets you to really think about somethings.
" I truly really don't care" I felt that in my soul 😅
Fabulous presentation! Scratches open the surface of a new cavern to explore! Wish my dear friend Bertram S. Brown was still with us! He loved brain spelunking over rum-runners at the officer's club on Sigsbee Island, Key West! Seems like yesterday! See ya on tha beach!
This guy could have a future in stand up.
He looked sooooo serious after that last line 🤣
It sums up what I was thinking for a long time, especially last segment. We need 'green' psychopats (I made up this term lul) in military, police, firefighters, mines, etc. Basically imagine any tough and risky job - people with psychopatic traits are best for it. Also my personal theory is, that all mma/fighters, and extreme sports people have those traits. Some of them have almost no fear, or their fear level is a lot higher, than any 'normal' person. (Imagine F1, WRC or MotoGP riders, going 350+ etc.) What is interesting also, super atractive females flock to such guys naturally (I guess becasue from bilogical standpoint, they have highest chance of survival).
I had a tear in my eye over this man I don't know.
Then he made me laugh.😅
Thanks for bringing me laughter today!
@le th Couldn't care less > could care less
He could care less what you think...he could care less if you live or die...and he sees your tears as weakness. Those are the cold, harsh facts about how psychopaths truly think.
I like him.🤭
@user-yf6pq4hy3i haha! I'm good thanks for caring though.
wow, this is so humorous! and he doesn't care🙈😹 but when he said if I had heard it at 21 it would mean I had time to change... that sounded like caring. Better we know less about ourselves and more about how to get along with others...
It's interesting that his close relations are cold, because he's just very utility or logical minded, and it makes me wonder what motivates him to do public talks like he's been doing. He starter doing them before he found out he had these traits... So we can't assume it's solely because he wants to create more empathy towards these traits and that they are wrongly associated exclusively with murderers. It may be that now, or something else, or something else plus that. I wonder if he's ever asked himself, maybe it's in an interview out there.
I for one think that empathy is a lost gift these days in many people who are absorbed in a me, me, me world that’s dictated to them by social media. Without empathy, our society will continue to decline. I’d love to hear what his family members have experienced! We as a society have to put our focus back on G0d and not worry about what other humans opinions of us are. We all are flawed and fall short, and realizing this and asking for G0d to help us is the first step. Kudos to him for sharing his story.
Damn. This is me. I bond with strangers very well for the most part and I tend to empathize with them more than my close family. Damn.
I remember him from a television documentary a long time ago, telling the same story. Here he is, being dead serious, and the audience is perceiving it as standup comedy.
He knows he is being funny, he's not an idiot. He said he was the class clown. This is a stupid take.
no it's just Naturally funny.
Yeah, I found the laughter weird.
He proved his point that he’s great with strangers
😂😂😂😂
"When people tell you who they are, listen." Some of these sociopathic/narcissistic types like attention so much, or are so shallow that they'll reveal themselves with glee. When they do, take them at their word! Don't think 'well, they're harmless & self-aware." Also, learn to read people and note their actions. Because some of these creeps are too clever to just tell you who they are.
@Kevin Roberts why do you still live with him?
My housemate is such a person, and uses his act of "narcissistic-sociopathic-self absorbed" self-awareness to take people unawares, when it really comes down to it.
Laughing and smiling with you, he will admit to being this way, and you may be inclined to believe (most are) that since he is just stating it so freely and openly, that he's understanding himself and taking measures to counter-balance these traits. But when you have been hurt by him, it is just "Well, I told you so...", and a smug grin.
Good point.
On a tangent, the way I heard it was,
"When someone tells you who they are, take it wisely.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
i guess it is true that if a surgeons only concern is perfection (to prove to themselves, once again, how incredible they are) that probably gives the patient the best possible odds.
You described me to a t.
I have always felt I was different. I laughat serious things so I'm not good at funerals. I finally accepted that I'm not that interested in the daily lives of family or others. I'm happy 😊
He is genius and honest , hope he find the right path
This fella seems like a real stand up guy, really likeable aura about him
I had no idea Jimmy Fallon was a psychopath but things are starting to make sense now
"After I heard all this I didn't care" big respect
lol u didn't get it.
lol you trollin bro?
I’m married to a sociopath. It’s horrible. It’s nice to see people out there, sociopaths and psychopaths, who are self aware and want to treat their conditions like mental illnesses-properly. Healthily. Morally.
"I bond with strangers" I kinda get that. I can have a fun time with a group of people then not recognize them the next week. At parties, I tend to hang out with my peers' kids because they don't care about me (which is what I want). When I hang out with adults, it always seems like they want some sort of connection that I am not interested in.
Sociopath here. I laughed my ass off during this video. I was diagnosed after a childhood incident and do my damnedest to be pro-social, but man, do the urges strike at times. I know there are things I might never feel, but I'm going to keep working to understand them.
@TheBlackLodge I was 7, so some of this has been told to me instead of me remembering it. I beat another, older kid's head in with a tree branch because he was being rough with a cat. Allegedly, I was laughing at how the boy flopped about on the ground and asking if I could have the cat. They couldn't make me feel bad about what I did, but I was bummed that they didn't give me the cat.
I still hold animals in higher regard than people.
What was the incident??
@Jonathan D Do you think in English?
Do you think in God
@shitmandood You know it, sweetheart
This is an incredible story