I’ve always told people who ask “what does it feel like having adhd” I tell them “it doesn’t feel like anything. It just shows itself in your life. Imagine you wake up and everything you were supposed to do, or wanted to do, just never happened.”
@snicksnick08 YES. I think he meant to only do this for things like exams, but not daily or throughout the day. Also, the recommended regular exercise can help keep blood sugar levels down.
@Island Hopper Ugh. Most people with ADHD are probably going to struggle with the thought of suffering through a cold shower. Forget about actually attempting it. At least, I do.
Painfully true. Watching me procrastinate, time flies by, my days off work vanish, and unless there's an actual threatening deadline, I never do anything. I try to, but man it's so easy to just never do it. Such an agonizing disorder to watch yourself struggle with little to no self control, like you're two different people in your head. You want to do something vs you need to something you don't want to do, so you're always mad at yourself all the time.
Set the timer and tackle it. Like he says. Your inability to do things will eventually drive you crazy. Set a timer for 10 minutes and do it.I'm a late bloomer but technically now I have done more than most in my life. One thing not spoken about with ADD/ADHD is that we are very capable, creative, smart, curious and have constant ideas which overwhelms us. In the end we can't blame anyone for our successes or non successes, just find a ways to just do it, by understanding who you are.
The part about always being mad at tour self. So true . I suspect as well this is one dimension to misdiagnosis’ of anxiety or /depression…. or the building up over time to what’s misdiagnosed as depression or real depression. … it’s so hard to be positive when you see such little “achievement” or progress . And no amount of trying can get you there
damn this is so true. I am mad to myself when I just watch time flies like that and I am wasting it but I dont know how can I do things. help please guys :(
I went undiagnosed for YEARS and I always thought to myself “I am doing everything I can in my own control to try and make my life easier, nothing is working”. When he said that you have to change the environment around you in order for you to physically use the knowledge you have it sent me to tears. I always asked my family if they could do certain things differently because they don’t work for my adhd brain and I was always told “No but you can learn how to adapt to it” so its nice to know that what I was asking for is valid
@Diablo In this, you are amongst friends. I'm now in my 60s, and the guilt is always there. Now to get to work and finish as strong as I can! We can't change the past, but we can give the future a go, and hopefully with a better outcome! 🙂
I was one who was diag with ADHD as an adult. Looking back at my childhood I feel I was misdiagnosed as having chronic depression and anxiety. From ages 9-21 I think I have tried just about every depression med that was available with no significant changes... I had given up and accepted this is just how I am. Everything he said in this video hit me hard from relationships to motivation, no concept of time to the point when he said it's not that we don't know what or how to do something, it's that the connection to act is being disrupted. That hit hard... I made really good grades in school and loved it until I hit high school. That's when it was up to me to make sure all my work was done and be at school on time. So I got my GED at 17 and started college for nursing and that was even worse for me. It wasn't until I was in my 30s when my marriage was falling apart (my ex is a neurotypical) we fought about money and me always being late or he called me lazy. The marriage counselor we saw just happened to ask the right questions and had me go and be evaluated for ADHD. It was a game changer at the beginning, but I really wish I would've also started psychotherapy in time. The meds and therapy really help, but sometimes I fall back because I have to work at it daily. This was such a great video! Thank you! Good luck out there all my non-neurotypical peeps!
You got distracted and are reading the comments during the video aren’t you? This video gives some really good tips! Wait to read the comments until after the video!
i have 12 tab open for video topic i already prepared and decide to study, with several idel game in background, cleaning appartment while stuff is cooking, timing the cooking with video time and cleaning.. while forgeting whats playing reading your nice funny comment about exactly losing focus on video to read comnt xD
Sat crying at this. I’m dyslexic & clinically depressed & diagnosed with anxiety but since actually looking at myself, I’ve come to realise that I exhibit all symptoms of ADHD. It’s so hard to get a diagnosis here but this video made me break down in tears man. This resonated with me like nothing before. I’ve written all of this down. I’m determined to get my fucking life back.
Initially watching this video, I honestly thought that he was angry and frustrated at people with ADHD. But it slowly became more clear that, no, he isnt angry at people with ADHD. He’s angry at people who refuse to help! I love this man’s commitment to helping people with adhd. Its clearly shown in this video that he’s been trying to get this through peoples skulls for a while now.
1. This man validated my entire existence 2. He spoke so fast I was able to actually sit and listen to the whole (okay most, but like 90%) of the talk.
@Lindy T I found having my own distraction that doesn't take much focus helps me stay focused on the main thing that I want to. For me it's doodling I just do little doodles while my ears listen and pick up the information.
I can relate. The only way I can finish listening to and understanding and remember lectures and videos is by playing them at 1.5x or 2x speeds. When my college classes went back to in person after the pandemic, I started doing badly in school again. During the pandemic most of my lectures were prerecorded online videos so I could change the speed of lectures and actually absorb the material and finish listening to lectures since my attention span could handle 30 min of lecturing (at 2x speed) but not 1 hour of lectures at regular speeds . Idk what to do
Nailed it. I'm 72. As I age, my ADHD is getting worse. I've so much to do. It's in my face, but I freeze, becoming overwhelmed. Things are piling up, commitments loom. I know I'm highly intelligent. I constantly study, learn things, but when it comes to being motovated in the physical world, nothing, little at best, gets done. I am seeking help, medication, but even getting this done gets put off... damnit. Aerobic activity is becoming more difficult in that it takes me away from what I need to do, adding to my overwhelmedness. It is maddening. I hate having to rermind people to remind me, and I hate constantly being reminded, it goes around and around, destroying any semblance of self-esteem.
I appreciate you for just acknowledging your situation,self awareness regarding ADHD is a rarity in your generation. Please keep setting that good example. Thank you 😊
@Anne Pilgrim you should be able to copy the text directly from KZclip in your phone or on your computer. I hope that if you use the content directly in any way that what you will attribute it. However, the concepts are not unique, and are a culmination of what I have learned from reading and listening to psychologists and life coaches.
ADHD for me has always felt like two things. One is like, rush hour traffic playing nonstop all the time. Every conversation is accompanied by honking horns and bright lights from oncoming traffic. My brain is overstimulated by intrusive thoughts and external forces, and focus is hard to maintain and easy to lose. The other version I've encountered. Is like a deer in headlights. I think about all of these things, and plan plenty of activities. But once I have to make a decision on what of these thoughts I want to act on. I lock up. Sometimes, I look through the sea of options and they don't seem interesting enough. I end up spending all of the time I could have been doing something, mindlessly doing nothing. Watching KZclip shorts on an endless loop while I argue with my brain on what to do. From the outside, I just seem lazy and unmotivated. But in reality I'm running every scenario in my head with no real push towards a resolve. It only ends when I either fall asleep, or something finally grabs my attention. I can't help but feel like the attention issues are accompanied by depression. But considering nothing is diagnosed because of money, I could just be talking out of my ass.
Hey, I used to do the same thing then one day I got sick of myself and sprung into one of my tasks without letting myself think about it - don't think, just DO.
@gauntful @A Minner THIS! And then I create scenarios in my head for what really important letters or emails I probably have missed and how can I explain that at 45 of age, I cannot open my mail and - it becomes a vicious circle of anxiety, guilt and feeling all the more blocked. I talked about this with a therapist in my 20s (for anxiety) and she could not understand why the fact that I would feel better after having dealt with it, did not motivate me. Neither did I. Now that I learn about ADHD, I finally do and I know that my feeling of "I'm just wired differently" is exactly right.
I love how fast he talks and how concise he is. Perfect for us ADHD'ers . . . I'm usually scrolling my phone, tidying a drawer and trying to find something I lost by now 😂
I feel both personally attacked and supported at the same time. He'd bring up an issue I have and explain to the T and Id feel like utter shit, but then give some nice ass advice on how to deal with it so I go from feeling horrible to feeling hopeful. What a roller-coaster ride this was, imma need to take that 3 minute break lmao
Woa! The opening sentence. "You can know stuff, but you won't do stuff." That's the absolute definition of what it feels like. So many aspirations, ideas and dreams, and yet, when it comes to execution.... Just no.
I don't know I think it's more about motivation I can do plenty of stuff just not stuff that doesn't engage me, I'm actually very productive when I'm interested in what I'm doing.
@Just Me during covid and dealing with a toxic friendship and business failure I was taking as high as 100mg and finally drop to 7.5mg since Dec 2021 to now.
I'm at a point where my ADHD is finally overcoming the little natural ability I have when it comes to finding success. Struggling so hard with knowing what needs to be done but never really being able to do it has seriously demolished my faith in myself. This video articulates the external motivations very well, which perfectly explains why I am so obsessed with video games (aside from the aspect of escaping my life that is crumbling by my own hand). I've been driven to a very dark place having struggled with seeing the crappy fate I am damning myself to while not having what I thought was raw willpower to change it, but this video has shined a ray of hope. I realize now that I have become nigh obsessive with cleaning just for a taste of order and executive function. No clue how this came into my recommended, but it gives me hope :)
You are most certainly amongst friends here! I can't get off of the stimulation of the computer solitaire games (never did learn how to use all those darn buttons on modern game controllers!), because it seems to be one of the only things I can concentrate on and see through to completion. Never mind that I have TONS of work to do around here... 😕
I feel the same way. Currently seeing an ADHD specialty/life coach and it’s really nice to have someone hold me accountable and to help guide me and organize my life. It’s still a struggle but I’m hoping I can gain control of my life for once. I wish I didn’t have this curse and it’s held me back my entire life.
i'm in the same place right now and i wanted to kill myself a couple of months ago but i went to an intensive therapy program and it helped a lot. don't be afraid to reach out and get help because depression only makes the adhd worse
"We are under-treating the most treatable disorder in psychiatry" !! I am 58 and I was diagnosed just last year - 2 weeks ago I started my medication - let's see how it goes 🙂
Let us know if Neurogenetic Therapies work, please. As undiagnosed adult, who lost executive function after 2 head injuries, I'm trying to find Dr who will prescribe....
This is crazy, it has taken me about 26 years to understand half of this stuff and it's all summed up here, all the struggle I've had in my life summed up in 13 minutes and possible solutions I haven't implemented, this has been really informative, thanks a lot
As someone who went into the naval nuclear field with adhd, without medication the entire time, the constant "point of performance" testing really got me to overcome some of the struggles I had with focus and my work ethic. Fantastic lecture
It’s like watching your life in third person. I’m constantly yelling at the guy holding the wheel not to do things or TO do things and it rarely connects. Then I have a day or week of epiphany where I decide how I’m going to get my life together, start writing things down and what not. I get so into it that I forget other things like eating, drinking water, self care and get so exhausted from all of the effort it takes to be “normal” that I abandon it all together and do it all again a month or two later. I’m tired.
@Christopher Boydthat’s why all of my To Do lists start with this task: ✅ 1. make a to do list” … that way I always get at least one thing accomplished ! 🎉🤓
2:45 As someone with ADHD, imposing more consequences as a child by authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) just eroded my ability to handle stressful situations as an adult and, over a long enough period of time, gave me crippling lifelong anxiety to go with my ADHD, since I was so conditioned to expect emotional pain from those around me. In other words, it did nothing but burn me out, and it's made me a less functional adult.
This has been on my watch later queue for MONTHS. I took weeks to finish the last 2 pages of a 25-page ADHD chapter in a behavioral neuropsych text. This video is so concise, insightful, and therapeutic.
This is the struggle for me. I found out I had ADHD at the age of 37. I spent most of my 20s doing just enough at the last second to survive. But I was able to survive. When I got into my 30s, and started to get more responsibilities and more people depending on me, I floundered. A lot. Once I was diagnosed, I started medication and making lists and breaking things up into smaller tasks. But now at 40, all of the things I do to keep my ADHD in check feel like a prison, and I want to go back to my 20s when nobody counted on me but myself.
@nuynobi Oh, I didn't mean to imply that your wife didn't pull your weight! Just thought a reshuffle of "jobs" might be an option. Obviously, you already had that idea and so I just hope somehow easier times will come again soon!
@Jule N Thanks. I too set up automatic payments whenever possible. My wife's not so great with numbers. That's why the taxes are my job. She pulls her weight. She runs a tight ship.
@semantechx I would like to try meds. I'd need to get a diagnosis first and I've been procrastinating pretty hard on that. I'm a little worried I won't get it, and then the only explanation for my predicament is that I'm a lazy fuckup.
@nuynobi Brute force is the perfect expression for it. Brute force of will. And while I don't have a family, I completely understand unravelling under responsibilities of adult life. I work around bills by making it standing ordersor direct debit mandates. And yes, I will be too slow to adjust these but at least something is getting paid. As for the taxes (just did the ones for 2021...three weeks ago) - can't maybe your wife take over? No matter how, I do hope and I'm rooting for you that you find your way back to some ind of balance!!
As someone who has ADHD it took me about 3 hours to get through this video without being distracted. I've found that my phone is my biggest distraction, limiting phone time is vital to outgrowing ADHD.
@Alejandro Villegas with that said, i can make small changes. I can control myself to some extent. The point is that we are talking about developing behaviors consistently enough to achieve real functionality. But also you might have some work to do in how you perceive this dysfunction, because "outgrow" implies that its a remnant of childhood. Youre just going to beat yourself up if you keep thinking of it as a personal failure.
@Alejandro Villegas literally the first 10 seconds of the video explain why one with ADHD can NOT "just do it" simply because they know what needs to be done. I know what needs to be done. So what is my problem? Lack of self discipline and willpower right? So now that i know that, i should put that knowledge to use. That would be fantastic if my frontal lobe would actually cooperate with the rest of my brain. Maybe then I could effectively just discipline myself into a functional life.
i'm someone who's been viewed as intellectually brilliant (34 ACT score, top college, etc) but can never bring myself to do anything but the minimum. everything is rushed, last minute, i have no motivation. i always blamed myself, or thought i was just depressed or thought i was just lazy. this guy literally made me cry. i have been a prisoner to my adhd for years but blamed myself the whole time. i see a psychiatrist for medication this week.
I feel this. I just did an intake teat for a local community college and scored highest possible in all three exams. The administrator was like, hushed tones excited. I told her, my intelligence has never been the problem.
Same. I have an insane level of priori understanding due to the sheer amount and accuracy of my internal simulations Whatever I try, I can succeed at and do excellently The problem is trying I never do, I'm afraid at failing and that is also something I don't do I realize that sounds arrogant, but I'm really not trying to be I am locked inside a prison of my own mind, a waste
I would love to see further information on how adults with ADHD can combat executive dysfunction without other people to build an environment for them. As an adult living with ADHD, I need help to learn to function as an independent person.
Thank you so much. Ive struggled my whole entire life and am now starting to work on my mental health and having adhd. I feel extremely heard and seen by this video. The first time i took medication for adhd i cried tears of joy at the sense of calm and peace i felt for the first time in my whole life. I means so much that their are people like you out there educating the public about adhd. Thank you
A very good summary and explanation of the executive dysfunction/frontal lobe problem in ADHD. Most people, including many doctors, have no real comprehension of what ADHD is really like and how severely it impacts your life. Also, it manifests in lots of different ways, as well as differently in individuals and people of different ages and genders. Even with medication it's still a constant struggle.
"I know but I can't" Is such a perfect way to describe me and i never knew that until now. I actually did extremely well until towards the end of middle school then into high school since homework became something that took longer to do and was worth more overall. I was in advanced classes and literally held my own until homework and projects were worth more then whatever I did in school. When covid hit and we had to do online school it practically destroyed my grades. I only passed thanks to my family supporting me to reach the minimal grades as well as going to school in person even if all the work was still online and even then it was hard for me to stay commited when games and books were a few clicks away. I think I will try to use some of these methods to get my life together or maybe seek medication since I did take adderall when I was a child. These past few months have been constant stress over not doing anything without listening to that stress since I just don't have deadlines or punishments to enforce my choices.
I like to come back to this when I am struggeling with something (or just life lol). I have very few people Who actually understands my issues, and the usual advice is to "just push through It" or "well most other people have to deal with the same". It makes me judge myself and I feel even worse. This validates my struggle and confirms that: yes I do have a Harder time doing things others manage just fine, and that is okay. This helps me forgive myself and it makes me feel less lonely and understood. Thank you so much for your efforts on this very important matter, you are helping alot of people Who struggle with ADHD. ❤️
@DF I was excatly the same. Understanding the mechanisms of ADHD makes it easier to cope with my struggles. Especially with everyday things that others don't seem to have issues with. Cleaning, dishes, making it on time. Glad to hear you found a way to handle your issues friend
Omg I thought I was the only one. Yes the judging of yourself makes you feel worse - to this day. I was undiagnosed as a child the school just gave me special needs and made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So glad I'm an adult who understands this now.
1 minute and 34 seconds in and this man already seems to understand me on a deeper level than all of the people I've ever spoken to (including psychiatrists) combined. Wow
My whole life I've struggled with ADHD. And I've always wondered why when it comes to work or school I feel like I function so much better when I have certain environments that I associate with certain things that involve executive function. I feel like my most productive job I've ever had was being a barista at Starbucks and I realize now it helps me focus on what I'm doing because I can always see the customers in the lobby, and everything I needed to make drinks was right there where I could interact with it. I always wondered why I had so much trouble waiting tables, it's like I had so much less to do but the second I'm not looking at my customers and walk into the kitchen everything I write down just goes out the window. I've had to learn a lot of mental imagery, trying to think of different areas within a workspace as all being in the same place so I don't compartmentalize my tasks in a way that makes me less productive. Clipboards and writing things down have helped me immensely, however I really think that having like four timers stuck to my somewhere is probably what I need to do now that I'm a nursing assistant and half way through nursing school. I've heard ICU nurses only have like two patients so I think that just dumping all of my attention into two people instead of working on a med surge unit with like 5 or 6 will really help me stay on task.
Hey Jeremy- another Starbucks employee here and experiencing your same symptoms. You just blew my mind and I’m so grateful for you. It makes so much sense. I hope you are doing well and wishing you the best of luck navigating this 💚
So refreshing to hear him say they’re under treating. I finally received a diagnosis at the age of 32 but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Every time I brought this up, i felt like I was being criminalized and the doctor would avert the topic. I intentionally found a WOC, assuming she wouldn’t treat me as such, and I started treatment last week. My brain finally feels a tad bit more manageable.
Awww I really appreciated this man’s talk. Makes so much sense… I went undiagnosed most of my life until my son ended up being diagnosed and I found out it was genetic and it all began to make sense. Very grateful 🙏🏻
I had a test pilot, Air Force Colonel, describe me as a multi engine, aircraft with far too much power, and undersized control surfaces, which don’t work consistently.
@Shyam NG Krsh I have been trying to work on the problem. I didn't know till last year that I have ADHD. I've also been working on the word vomiting, impulsiveness, organizing, and procrastination. Good on you for keeping that part in check; it's not easy.
I was born with ADHD and sometimes people take me as someone who doesnt spend time with working or have hobbies, but i've also learned how to make mods for the games i kinda get bored playing, i'm basically learning how each game works and basically dissasembling and reassembling the framework with those few modifications.
As a 45 yo ADHD that has had major issues dealing with life in general, i know this all to be very accurate. My personal life is (eventually ) set around exactly the same intentions as described here in the slides ( and explained splendidly i might add). I was able to even finetune some parts of my routine and feel a lot less guilty about my need for sugar LOL 😆 Thank you for posting this ! May it help others dealing with this disorder. 🙏
I think Dr. Barkley has saved my life. This and ADHD tiktok videos helping me realize that I'm not alone or broken, as well as my last therapist reccomending that I get tested for ADHD years ago. My parents are deeply frustrated with my executive dysfunction, as am I. It felt like my quality of life was awful, and I would never be able to make anything of myself. All because I couldn't do what I needed to. My mother will say things like "you just have to" and "you need to push yourself harder" and "sometimes you will have to do things you don't want to." Revealing a deep misunderstanding of my situation, to the point where I just stop talking to her about my executive functioning. I've felt worthless and awful and suicidal because I couldn't get myself to do things. And when I did, I'd become quickly exhausted, have an empty tank, and no idea on how to refill it. Knowing that what's likely wrong with me is treatable gives me so much hope.
@hamster I deleted it a few months ago, but thank you! I definitely noticed how addicting and easily accessible it was. Plus there was so much misinformation, and ads, and I'm much better off learning what interests me from mentors and professionals and reliable sources.
Yo i can totally relate to what you're going through with your parents. Just wanted to comment and say that you should definitely be trying to get off tiktok and other scrolling apps as much as possible even if they seem helpful. They really exacerbate adhd symptoms due to the amount of new stimulus you get every time you scroll. I completely deleted my tiktok account last month and my adhd is starting to actually become manageable now for once in my life. A good analogy to think of is to think of your adhd brain as naturally "obese". Every time you scroll tiktok or instagram view it as "junk food" which is bad for everyone but also exceptionally horrible for someone who's already obese. And whenever you meditate think of it as "exercise" which is good for everyone but also exceptionally beneficial for someone who's obese.
Stunned. Shocked in silence. The first time ever that I completely accept that I have ADHD. Always felt that everyone who claimed they had it sounded like they were out to find an excuse tu their attention deficit or lack of goal issues. But this.. Time and the management of it is the key thing I hit up against over and over in my life. I'm a story artist at a major animation studio, God knows the amount of hard work I had to go through to get here.. but yet, this one thing still kills me every single time. Time. I can only work with timers running constantly. Multiple 10 min, 30 min and 1h 20min timers running at the same time so that I am aware of both short term and longer term time frames. The job itself complex as it might be, I can get done fast.. But to convince myself it is time to do it now.. that's the hardest. Painful almost at times.
Jeez that first paragraph. Hits me like a truck. I dismissed it for years wondering why people couldn't just do, and if they're even trying.. and I never had the self awareness to see it was actually a huge issue for me heh.
I was in special Ed my whole education and I never truly knew why I was in there I just remember I couldnt retain information and that's all I knew. and in my adulthood now I've know noticed that Ive always had ADHD and it blows my mind how right this guy is. he explains my life everyday. I want a job and do the things I need but I loose track of time and I've always said I never believed In time and little did I know it was time blindness the whole time... I know what to do to make my life better but I don't do it and everyone around me gets so angry and are done with me and call me lazy and I think something is wrong with me and I never knew. I realized alot today.
OMFG, THIS MAN JUST MADE A TUTORIAL ON SPEED-RUNNING ADHD TREATMENT, my adhd brain likes it, thank you so much for putting your research online and on youtube on a ADHD-friendly format
"I'm not going to go through all that right now" translates to "I'm sure if you're watching this video, it's very likely you have ADHD and I'm probably starting to lose you since I'm 12 minutes into a 16 minute video." Thank you, doctor. You are correct.
I basically had to piece this together myself over the past decade... especially with the last year of me being unemployed. It was hell. Still worth the watch tho
It's exactly everything I needed to hear for 30 years. I should have figured this out years ago, but when you live with a disorder that puts your mind in the backseat of the vehicle that is your body, it's hard to notice the disconnect between yourself and your actions. It helps the pieces of the puzzle fit together nicely to help you see the bigger picture. This is the first step into helping us figure out how to handle the day to day, the signs we should look out for, and ways for us to self-treat that have very impactful and effective results.
As an adult, who was diagnosed as a child but parent refused to treat and manage, I am so surprised of hearing this in words what I have felt for years but never had words for.
This really resonated for me. At age 53, I feel like, despite having a lot of good education, good work ethic, etc., I just never been able to make the pieces of my life "fit" together properly to achieve even modest success. This gives me new hope. I'm going to get tested.
@Alan Berkeley who is Conners? How do you explain all the people who are relating to the video? The testimonies of people? This video is liberating to me. Knowing the truth sets you free. Gives hope.
@Alan Berkeley Did he actually say that it’s a chemical imbalance in this video? I will have to rewatch it I guess. I think a lot of ADHD is from childhood traumas. Trauma has been scientifically proven to alter a person’s brain. It’s more neurotransmitter issues than chemical imbalances IMO. Your brain can be re-wired, still looking into that.
@Alan Berkeley if it’s a BS disorder, how do you explain the first 24 seconds of the video to me? Because that’s exactly what happens to me. Just because he’s a shill doesn’t mean everything he says is not true. I won’t be running out to get on an ADHD drug just because of this video. But I will take what I learned to help figure out my self and help me to function better. He stated himself that exercise is very important and useful for people with ADHD. I will be going that route coupled with the other useful suggestions he made before I ever resort to taking a drug. How do you explain people who have what they list as ADHD symptoms? So many people in the comments relating to what he’s saying. What’s really wrong with us?
100%. I am a 43-year-old woman who was diagnosed at the age of 7 and was never medicated. I struggle on a daily basis to function in life. And at my age I am scared to go to my doctor because now I don’t want to be viewed as someone seeking medication for ulterior motive. Frustrating to say the least.
I always told people that about myself growing up. If I don't do it physically, I won't understand it as much. Its like this guy just explained my whole thought process in 7 min.
That first sentence literally sums it up. Unable to follow through has been my Achilles heel since I was a teenager. Took medication from 1st grade through 12th and made straight A's. Started college, stopped medication, and my whole behavior changed. I would literally drive to the college campus, and sometimes just sit in my car or hang outside campus and skip class. SELF SABATOGE is how I've come to describe my adhd behavior over the years. I know what I need to do, but I find a way to mentally psych myself out. Its as if I fail because I'm afraid to fail. A Viscious cycle.
I just got help 6 months ago. I sat starting at my home for a full day bawling. Literally overwhelmed at how fkng hard I had been trying...for 46 years. It's so different.
His fuel tank analogy is 100% right. Once I am wiped out it's over. My ADHD has caused me to not pay speeding tickets on time even when I had the money, then I got my license suspended for non payment. I knew I had a ticket to pay and thought I had more time. Well over 2 months went by and to me of felt like 2 weeks. Time either moves fast for me or if I M bored time will send still.
I swear to God, it feels as though he is speaking specifically at me. He is able to clearly explain what I feel inside that I just can't explain. It's so scary that he's 100% spot on.
This man in under 14 minutes revealed more truths about me than my mom could ever yearn to understand. I was called lazy told I was destined for prison by my father for quite a lot of my life, though I’m sure the 2-5 bottles of cheap whiskey a week didn’t help with that. I will work to take advantage of the opportunities I’ve already been given, maybe even get medicated.
I'm going to see my doctor because of this video, and am already taking steps in my life to improve things based on even the most basic advice I see here. Thank you!
I am an adult with ADHD. It got diagnosed when I was 50. Daily meditation for even 5 minutes, has been helpful to quiet the mind and hear the inner intelligent voice that guides me-aside from all the external distractions. I think the more you learn about adhd and how it affects you, the more you can help yourself. I have also found that I need to get started on projects right away, and consistently do a little bit at a time. Some days are better than others and on bad days it can be a minute-to-minute struggle, which can be frustrating, but if I keep at it, the brain settles down a bit. Exercise is very helpful!
@R MH Theres no such thing as sheer determination, there is only the capacity to do what you can with what you have. everyone has some otherwise you would need to be drip fed because you cant drive yourself to perform basic survival tasks. Everyone also has the capacity to form habit. therefore, be smart about it and there is a way. Smart means to know yourself, which apparently you dont seem to. Just because you suffered for many years doing the same neurotic strategies to lift yourself out of it does not make you somehow qualified to comment on the validity of these methods which you seem to have applied incorrectly. Re-evaluate and try again. Fail many times until you fine tune your self awareness to the point where you can acutely understand what exactly your brain will listen to and what it wont listen to. Its simple but its not easy, making it sound like progress is futile is very harmful 'advice'. Its not about beating yourself up along the way, it is in fact possible to fail without hating yourself, you just need to know what you are capable which is much less than you seem to imagine when you set these lofty goals.
@keshvwn ` Certain foods and probiotics (re gut microflora and their impact on the brain) can impact neurotransmitters, yes. But it's tricky and often imprecise way to treat, and not without its own side-effects if one has food intolerances. Not to mention it can be even more expensive (and hit-or-miss) than meds.
@Rcaddictionmania I tried for years. I literally cannot grow my ability to focus through sheer determination anymore than can a man with one leg walk as if with two without aid. Not for any amount of time. Pretending otherwise is futile and self-shaming, and I don't like to se others spreading such discouraging and unhelpful -- in fact, harmful -- 'advice'.
My mom figured most of this out in the eighties, dealing with me. Only issue was she didn't think medications would help. As I got older I discovered meth. It was amazing how much it helped me, but being illegal caused other problems. So I quit, went to the doctor to ask about Adderall, and was labeled a drug chaser. Ten years later my moms dead, I don't trust doctors, I don't do meth, and my adhd ruins every relationship and job in my life. This video should be played on every network like a presidential address, everyday for a few months, to get some social saturation. While my adhd is my problem, it would sure be helpful if anyone other than the afflicted and specialized physicians had this knowledge, regular people should be able to understand and help.
Wow. Sorry to hear your story. I tried to get medication a few years ago and the doctor was making excuses not to. I just tried again by seeing a licensed counselor first who does not have prescribing authority. She diagnosed me as having ADHD (it explains so many of my problems since childhood) and said I would have an easier time asking for medication again by explaining this and having the prescribing psychiatrist give her a call to review it. Worth a shot?
I think the problem with ADHD is we're not pointed within the fields of profession that we are built to do such as sales the law arguing the law and even politics. our empathy allows us to read people in an instance to not only know what they need but feel what they do. our ability to have conversations and build extremely strong short-term relationships leaving a lasting impression on people second to none. the fact that when we do set our focus on something it gets accomplished and telling somebody with ADHD that they can't do nothing is exactly how things get done. while there are many personal things in my personal life that I miss out on I would like to be able to give more attention to a loved one but I don't regret the fact that I have the drive to stay focused on task when I'm doing something I meant to do. ADHD will always cause you struggle until you face the fact that it gives you certain innate abilities that you can use to your advantage. we tend to be a little OCD about things as well so adhering yourself to a system following it daily and structuring your goals by the hourly base will help in this
Wow! One of the most useful 14 mins of my life (which actually took 3 days to cover)! And the story of my life, that I never understood before! Thanks!
"We're undertreating the most treatable disorder in Psychiatry" - thank you!!!!! Those of us who have figured it out on our own and seek help are made to feel like drug addicts; we're given medication for things like anxiety and depression, with the side effect of "suicidal thoughts." I've been misdiagnosed so many times, it's a wonder I am even alive.
Look for a ADD support group--they usually know doctors who specialize in ADD evaluation. With med insurance paying for the testing, you can go see a Behavioral Psychologist who will do a bunch of tests and find your ADD if its there. When I went for testing, I was doing really well until they wanted me to learn a list of things. Then they ask if certain things were on the list? List acquisiition has been screwing me up for 68 years! I get confused after two items. IQ is fine, I dress myself and pay my bills, but that little glitch means I get distracted easily, way sooner than other people. I go to work but really have to stress to get work done. No wonder most docs see us as depressed and anxious--we are! But that's not the root problem, that's a symptom of ADD/HD. The frustration leads to depression, treat it with stimulant meds for a real help.
O got the adhd diagnosis then evey one around me treated me like shit said I wouldn't accomplish a single thing I got off their meds entering 9th grade, my grades suffered massively that year figured my self out trained my self to things differently found some new work arounds ( if I couldn't do it I had to get around it some how) I'm 43 now self taught in a lot of things great multitasker and can achieve my maximum self for prolonged periods of time with out the aid of sugars or caffeine
@Emma-kate Elliott its true. I went off my anti-depressants once and the withdrawal symptoms were insane. currently trying to get adhd diagnosed. wish me luck!
@Pine Avis it's terrible how they can have such a terrible affect on exactly what they are prescribed for.. there were about 3 that gave me suicidal thoughts.. and no one ever figured out why.. not until I started questioning what the next pill was going to do to my brain.
It's crazy this was 7+ years ago but people are just now hearing about this, including myself. Been going to therapy for a while and been told what I should be doing like I don't know. This was so so beneficial. Protect this Doctor at all costs!!! (Tiktok brought me here)
Wow I can’t believe I just found this! I don’t mean to brag but I’m going to because I am honestly very proud of myself and it backs this video perfectly. My Junior Year of high school I had a 2.4GPA. I couldn’t study without being distracted, all the material I knew I was unable to act upon, I couldn’t focus, etc. I thought I was stupid. I thought I would never amount to anything. I thought I was a failure. That was until I saw a doctor 1 month after i graduated from high school and I was diagnosed with ADHD. At first I was confused then that confusion turned to frustration because I thought that meant something was wrong with me. I was then put on stimulants to help and after 2 months I was totally different. I could focus. I could study without getting distracted 5 mins in, my life had changed. I then applied to college and got in. I majored in mechanical engineering and my first semester I had a 4.0 GPA. I was in shock and disbelief, how was this possible? Well it was ADHD holding me back. I ended up going on to get a 3.96 GPA in college and I went to law school graduating in the 95th percentile of my class. ADHD is not a joke if you think you might have it go see someone immediately
I am truly grateful for this man. He is god sent 🙏🏼😓 what a mind blowing analysis. Russell has changed my life and I will never forget this man. God bless everyone and I hope we can all make it where we want to go in life one day sooner than later. 💙
This seems really, really spot on. Whenever I'm racing against the clock, it seems like my ADHD brain loves it when there's a strict time limit for something. I seem to delay until the last moment (gotten better at not doing that), but as it's getting closer, it seems more interesting and easier to bother focusing.
My entire life I built systems around me that kept me accountable- when I was in 6th grade I voluntarily went to afterschool detention because they forced you to do homework. When the teachers realized I wasn't supposed to be there they were baffled. I LIKED it, and otherwise I would never start my homework until two *hours* before the deadline. I purposely applied to a college that was known for being a "boot camp". Then COVID came and crumbled those systems I carefully chose. Until then I didn't realize I had ADHD because I was doing well (still struggling but doing well). I failed a class for the first time in my life on the first semester of online class. I felt like I derailed my life because I was lazy and unmotivated. My self esteem tanked, I went through depression, and I'm still slowly picking my way back up with the help of videos like these. Thank you!!
I failed introductory chem in high school and had to go to summer school- best thing ever , I wasn’t allowed to do anything but the assignment while sitting in the class (just me and the science book ) and if i finished my assignment for the day I was allowed to read whatever I wanted as long as I stayed quiet ( a huge carrot to dangle , I love reading for fun ) . We had structured break times . It taught me a lot about how I learn best and how I can manage to be productive .
@Christopher Boyd I had a 4th grade teacher tell me he didn't care if I did my homework or not. He took away my accountability for homework for the rest of my school career. In addition to the accountability from my teacher, that teacher made my dad mad accusing me of something my dad did, sparky comment on a note home to my parents, so from then on the problem was tge teacher not my undiagnosed ADHD, not to mention i was raised by boomers so they barely knew I existed a majority of the time so no consequences at home either. But from then on to my adolescent brain heard teachers do not care about my homework so no consequences they will just give me a F not hurting them any, my parents hardly notice so nope no consequences, sweet I hate homework anyway. Now I was eventually held accountable and that's when I learned the "do just enough to get by" to fly right under the radar. Mist of my detentions were being late to class. Haha go figure 😆
I got the detention because I was so bored in class and would be distracted by something outside, or just talk to others. I always passed my exams though. On the flip side.. I was the first (11yr old) in Secondary school (UK) to get six strokes of the cane for all the above.... on my first day!!! How things have changed.
Thank you for sharing, I really relate to your experience. I started presenting a lot more symptoms of ADHD after Covid; I was working on starting a video production business and I realize now that the friends I was with kept me accountable to do everything i was doing. Then after quarantine, isolation and losing some of those relationships I feel like I've completely changed. I realize now I need to be able to support myself to continue to pursue my goals. Thank you for sharing your experience :)
This is the most concise window of explanation and preventive measures regarding ADHD there is on the internet. Funnily enough, I was practicing these steps before learning them that those are what one with ADHD should do. But it took years for me to perfect. And they are scribbled in self help articles not directly related to ADHD. They are listed under HOW TO BE PRODUCTIVE, HOW TO HAVE AN IDEAL WORKPLACE, HOW TO MAXIMIZE PRODUCTIVITY, etc etc but never under ADHD.
Very grateful for this video, something that I can actually show to the people close to me and build actual solutions. My biggest bugbear is that yet again I have to extrapolate this info into an adult context - it's yet another talk focusing on kids and homework and marbles in the classroom. He glossed over the slide for adults in 30 seconds. If you've reached adulthood before being diagnosed, chances are that your stakes are very high and you face very serious consequences if you don't get a grip over these facets of the disorder. I was diagnosed last year at age 42, combined-type. I'd nearly lost everything leading up to this. I'm now in a senior corporate job with a lot of responsibility and forced to use workplace processes and software designed for neurotypical adults (Microsoft Office, instant messaging, Chrome) to do my job that hijacks all these brain weaknesses he's describing. Medication has been lifechanging, but my partner, family, friends, bosses and team-mates have no idea of the minute-by-minute battleground I'm exhausting myself in just to get myself to baseline functioning in the real world. Adults in my position DESPERATELY need solutions for adult contexts. It's really, really frustrating that 90% of the tools and information available about ADHD still focuses on children.
I was diagnosed as an adult. The perception of time eludes me. This person seems to understand that better than anyone I’ve ever encountered. Recent Drs opinions aide on treating me as more on the autistic spectrum. Being decisive and regulating servitude/submissiveness is one of my biggest challenges. I’ve decreased in my career continually and am unable to apply my intelligence and skills in highly monitored and strictly categorical environments which have distinct chains of command; I become passive and intimidated and depend on external cues of when and what to do. I’m single and living alone and it feels like a curse, I can’t achieve goals as easily alone as with people who share such high standards and values. I risk sounding egotistical but I have to be candid so that I understand why I’m considered disabled or why medication is so taboo when it distinctively helps me. So what the hoo let me give my testimony. I fill my life with Knowledge and I conceptually understand things but it’s like reality is a movie and I’m a passive observer since time has no bearing on me. “Boredom” has always had no meaning to me; “purpose” is my main source of self value and I see the world as dominantly riddled with meaningless and manipulated actions of “purpose” based on hierarchical power structures. I’m highly compliant and people pleasing and assertiveness and decision making has always been a struggle- adhd medicines help me to actively participate in functioning to do what I want. I conceptualize that as a social challenge, which I suspect is why it seems like autism. Being sovereign seems like my most functional state being someone who is highly inspired and full of ideas yet cannot as executively commit to and process the execution or facilitation of chosen pathed. Commitment seems purely external and physical process; I sense no limitation on sincerity and understanding or empathy, but I don’t quantify commitment to people or goals by time or working memory. It’s ever-present. Distinct tasks are achievable. Linear time bears no construct in my minds eye, and I cannot conceive of time in past or present.
Recently diagnosed with ADHD at 29, after 14+ years of struggling and trying to keep my head above water. Got 30 seconds in before I started crying lol. "You know stuff, but you won’t do stuff. […] You won’t be able to care for yourself as effectively as other people. You have INTENTION Defecit Disorder". Thank you Russell Barkley for your work and clear-sightedness.
This and my past year was a great discovery for me in my entire life I learned a lot , like it was my self realisation period 😊 I'm here smiling so satisfied with who I am , these were usually my confusion in my upbringing life , the what's happening with me questions but now all these discoveries made so Much light and self actualization time , I now know everything about me you know , no one can stop me now 😊 I'm in my greatest time
This is the best video I’ve ever seen on ADHD. Just diagnosed with adult ADHD, at 48. One week on adderall, it’s like putting on glasses and finally being able to see the blackboard of my past.
@June Ack I went through every med until Vyvanse was the only thing left. I'm blessed that my hubby's insurance will cover it because it really is a life changer for me. It also doubles as an anti-anxiety for me. Forget to take the anti-anxiety, ok, I can still handle not panicking...most days. But miss the Vyvanse? Oh lordy I'll be lucky to get ANYTHING done. And I still need the caffine (focus not energy, oh how I wish it would give that mythical energy boost I hear about) and sugar to supplement because I can't take the max dose (fml). The generic still is a long way out unfortunately...probably...I don't actually remember WHEN I talked to my friend that combines all the chemicals to make all the things. But he laughed when I said I was wondering when the generic would come out cuz it's expensive af. Aka not for a long time probably. It's late, the Vyvanse is wearing off so sorry for the ramble. I just came to say I laughed at the Waiting for vyvanse to go generic.
Adderall was definitely a honeymoon phase for me at the beginning of treatment. I’m just in fear of tolerance. Plus while it helps me be calmer and my sex drive has been IMMENSELY suppressed (good thing), it doesn’t help if my anxiety is not occurring from my symptoms- by another factor. On adderall I was able to take one more mental note, like staying on a specific task for a longer period of time, while without I’d have to constantly remind myself. “Out of sight, out of mind”
Adderal hasn’t been working for me. Went from all levels. High to low to medium. I still feel stuck. On lex and Welbrtn as well. Waiting for vyvanse to go generic. May work. It’s good to hear things working. It motivates me. Thank you for sharing
I had a MASSIVE holy f*ck moment watching this. I’m 24 and realized on my own that I have ADHD but it would’ve been obvious if anyone was paying attention as a kid. Now, I have to hold myself accountable and keep track of my executive functions, with a job and hobbies that I never touch and burnout. This is incredibly valuable. Thank you.
Dr. Barkley, this is a well organized and able to understand video. Brilliant; I commend and thank you. Both my husband and daughter have ADHD. I wish we’d all had this to watch. Life was not easy, for them or me. Astute teachers recognized a “problem” in my daughter at age 5. We had her diagnosed; she is treated with medication and had the full advantage of getting student ADHD coaching from professionals through all her grades 2-12. She has just graduated Magna Cum Laude from a fine private 4-year college. My husband, a physician, resisted testing and assessment until I told him I’d have to leave the marriage. His “unpredictability” was moderate to severe. Confirmed at Duke University he now uses medication (which he raves about) and it took some convincing from me, but “exterior scaffolding and gadgets” he reluctantly began to use greatly improved his executive functioning. He doing progressively better with each year.
This confirms that I think I have this. I used to use a journal and set goals, keeping myself accountable. Designed a token therapy to get myself to do things. Visualise before or after work and study using self hypnosis, depending on shift patterns. Always had to put posters, charts and to do lists on walls. Always socially awkward. Life without these strategies has fallen into disarray. So back on it!
6:45 I ended up earning a bachelor of science in Applied Mathematics, graduating summa cum laude, and I'm currently a year into a master's degree in mathematics (focusing now on Statistics and Operations Research). I found out pretty quickly that the best thing I could do for myself was to be as thorough as possible, writing down a lot more than one might normally need, because I couldn't mentally keep track of enough information at the same time like other people could. Not having to think as hard how I can make progress by breaking down everything into a bunch of baby steps, rather than taking big leaps going from one step to the next, helped build good test-taking muscle memory and also learn the material very thoroughly. In other words, the "physical" thing I put in front of myself to keep track of everything better was, well, pencil lead on paper. I couldn't get myself to switch to any sort of digital format either because I knew I needed something I could physically hold and make changes to. It was very difficult to achieve what I did, and it was essential that I received accommodations for extended time on exams through my campus' support services for my ADHD (and OCD, and anxiety disorder), but I figured out ways to make it possible in the end!
@bjugler I can see ur point but I still look at it as the greatest strength but I suffer from the double edge sword that is adhd but I'm willing to give it my all every day so aspiring to do better is my reward and keeps me going
@Mars Alseides I think I agree with what you're saying, and weaknesses can be converted into strengths with the correct approach. I am just leery anymore of saying that I think that ADHD has anything built into it that is advantageous as I used to believe. I see it as exclusively a problem now. BUT, that problem can lead to action that results in a net higher functionality than would have been the case absent the problem. Is that perhaps a fair way to describe it?
I recall as a young child, I had a fantasy where I was living in an underground bunker. Everything was made of metal. And it would electrify and shock me when I wasn't doing what I needed to get done. It wasn't a horror scenario for me like I'm sure it would be to many people. It sounded like a perfect answer to all the problems in my life. The description about building immediate consequences into the environment brought back memories of that old fantasy. I was diagnosied with ADHD at nearly 40 years old, and now I'm still trying to unravel all the ways it's been impacting me all my life.
I have been to countless doctors, I have schizophrenia, D.I.D (disassociate identity disorder or "multiple personalities") and anxiety. Not once was I ever told I have adhd, and in all honesty that's my biggest problem. I'm so glad I found this. I'm definitely gonna talk to a doctor about this, & see if I can start some medication.
He just explained everything about me. Including... all this time I thought I was just a fat ass for having m&ms in my work desk that I would suck on while entering the company payroll. NO- I was intuitively self medicating to maintain focus for a long (and massively important) time. This makes SO MUCH SENSE!
![[슈취타] EP.7 SUGA with 지민](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/X6Svs7gYs1U/mqdefault.jpg)
I’ve always told people who ask “what does it feel like having adhd” I tell them “it doesn’t feel like anything. It just shows itself in your life. Imagine you wake up and everything you were supposed to do, or wanted to do, just never happened.”
@snicksnick08 YES. I think he meant to only do this for things like exams, but not daily or throughout the day. Also, the recommended regular exercise can help keep blood sugar levels down.
@Island Hopper Ugh. Most people with ADHD are probably going to struggle with the thought of suffering through a cold shower. Forget about actually attempting it. At least, I do.
@Conspirateur l
I was with him until he recommended keeping blood sugar elevated. That may work for attention, but it’s a recipe for long term disease.
Painfully true. Watching me procrastinate, time flies by, my days off work vanish, and unless there's an actual threatening deadline, I never do anything. I try to, but man it's so easy to just never do it. Such an agonizing disorder to watch yourself struggle with little to no self control, like you're two different people in your head. You want to do something vs you need to something you don't want to do, so you're always mad at yourself all the time.
Set the timer and tackle it. Like he says. Your inability to do things will eventually drive you crazy. Set a timer for 10 minutes and do it.I'm a late bloomer but technically now I have done more than most in my life. One thing not spoken about with ADD/ADHD is that we are very capable, creative, smart, curious and have constant ideas which overwhelms us. In the end we can't blame anyone for our successes or non successes, just find a ways to just do it, by understanding who you are.
Its a hack, using anxiety as motivation. But too much cortisol will destroy your health.
Me too!!!! Thanks for being in my brain and being a fly on the wall haha.
The part about always being mad at tour self. So true . I suspect as well this is one dimension to misdiagnosis’ of anxiety or /depression…. or the building up over time to what’s misdiagnosed as depression or real depression. … it’s so hard to be positive when you see such little “achievement” or progress . And no amount of trying can get you there
damn this is so true. I am mad to myself when I just watch time flies like that and I am wasting it but I dont know how can I do things. help please guys :(
I went undiagnosed for YEARS and I always thought to myself “I am doing everything I can in my own control to try and make my life easier, nothing is working”. When he said that you have to change the environment around you in order for you to physically use the knowledge you have it sent me to tears. I always asked my family if they could do certain things differently because they don’t work for my adhd brain and I was always told “No but you can learn how to adapt to it” so its nice to know that what I was asking for is valid
A lot of my realising I have adhd was reflecting on life and struggles with getting loved ones to understand
@Diablo In this, you are amongst friends. I'm now in my 60s, and the guilt is always there. Now to get to work and finish as strong as I can! We can't change the past, but we can give the future a go, and hopefully with a better outcome! 🙂
@Diablo that sucks, I’m truly sorry for you. The only thing worse will be to waste it further. I wish you luck
so what's the solution? changing your family?
I was one who was diag with ADHD as an adult. Looking back at my childhood I feel I was misdiagnosed as having chronic depression and anxiety. From ages 9-21 I think I have tried just about every depression med that was available with no significant changes... I had given up and accepted this is just how I am. Everything he said in this video hit me hard from relationships to motivation, no concept of time to the point when he said it's not that we don't know what or how to do something, it's that the connection to act is being disrupted. That hit hard... I made really good grades in school and loved it until I hit high school. That's when it was up to me to make sure all my work was done and be at school on time. So I got my GED at 17 and started college for nursing and that was even worse for me. It wasn't until I was in my 30s when my marriage was falling apart (my ex is a neurotypical) we fought about money and me always being late or he called me lazy. The marriage counselor we saw just happened to ask the right questions and had me go and be evaluated for ADHD. It was a game changer at the beginning, but I really wish I would've also started psychotherapy in time. The meds and therapy really help, but sometimes I fall back because I have to work at it daily. This was such a great video! Thank you! Good luck out there all my non-neurotypical peeps!
You got distracted and are reading the comments during the video aren’t you?
This video gives some really good tips! Wait to read the comments until after the video!
Yes shit bollocks ! Oh my god uk therapists please! This is me
i have 12 tab open for video topic i already prepared and decide to study, with several idel game in background, cleaning appartment while stuff is cooking, timing the cooking with video time and cleaning.. while forgeting whats playing reading your nice funny comment about exactly losing focus on video to read comnt xD
Out of the thousands of comments I have found myself reading instead of watching a video, this is the best one I ever read.
Okay, first of all...you're right. I'm going 😔🤭🤭
Holy crap
Sat crying at this. I’m dyslexic & clinically depressed & diagnosed with anxiety but since actually looking at myself, I’ve come to realise that I exhibit all symptoms of ADHD. It’s so hard to get a diagnosis here but this video made me break down in tears man. This resonated with me like nothing before. I’ve written all of this down. I’m determined to get my fucking life back.
I feel you. You're not alone. Its so damn hard.
Bro same here
Save this video so you can come back to watch it over and over again as I do.
Hang in there. Sending you good vibes.
Initially watching this video, I honestly thought that he was angry and frustrated at people with ADHD. But it slowly became more clear that, no, he isnt angry at people with ADHD. He’s angry at people who refuse to help!
I love this man’s commitment to helping people with adhd. Its clearly shown in this video that he’s been trying to get this through peoples skulls for a while now.
FAX
1. This man validated my entire existence
2. He spoke so fast I was able to actually sit and listen to the whole (okay most, but like 90%) of the talk.
Tell me about it.
Not sure why this showed up on my feed but it explains exactly why I have an IQ of around 130 but haven't graduated high school yet.
@Lindy T I found having my own distraction that doesn't take much focus helps me stay focused on the main thing that I want to. For me it's doodling I just do little doodles while my ears listen and pick up the information.
I can relate. The only way I can finish listening to and understanding and remember lectures and videos is by playing them at 1.5x or 2x speeds. When my college classes went back to in person after the pandemic, I started doing badly in school again. During the pandemic most of my lectures were prerecorded online videos so I could change the speed of lectures and actually absorb the material and finish listening to lectures since my attention span could handle 30 min of lecturing (at 2x speed) but not 1 hour of lectures at regular speeds . Idk what to do
I agree
I went and shared the information in multiple places while it was still playing.
Nailed it.
I'm 72. As I age, my ADHD is getting worse. I've so much to do. It's in my face, but I freeze, becoming overwhelmed. Things are piling up, commitments loom.
I know I'm highly intelligent. I constantly study, learn things, but when it comes to being motovated in the physical world, nothing, little at best, gets done.
I am seeking help, medication, but even getting this done gets put off... damnit.
Aerobic activity is becoming more difficult in that it takes me away from what I need to do, adding to my overwhelmedness. It is maddening. I hate having to rermind people to remind me, and I hate constantly being reminded, it goes around and around, destroying any semblance of self-esteem.
I appreciate you for just acknowledging your situation,self awareness regarding ADHD is a rarity in your generation. Please keep setting that good example. Thank you 😊
Cyber huggs ❤
@Anne Pilgrim you should be able to copy the text directly from KZclip in your phone or on your computer. I hope that if you use the content directly in any way that what you will attribute it. However, the concepts are not unique, and are a culmination of what I have learned from reading and listening to psychologists and life coaches.
@Diana Diehl i love your take on this. Would it be too much to ask you to send that answer to me somehow? I work with energy healing myself…
Thank goodness for the reminders app in my iPhone - this has changed everything for my adhd world
ADHD for me has always felt like two things. One is like, rush hour traffic playing nonstop all the time. Every conversation is accompanied by honking horns and bright lights from oncoming traffic. My brain is overstimulated by intrusive thoughts and external forces, and focus is hard to maintain and easy to lose.
The other version I've encountered. Is like a deer in headlights. I think about all of these things, and plan plenty of activities. But once I have to make a decision on what of these thoughts I want to act on. I lock up. Sometimes, I look through the sea of options and they don't seem interesting enough. I end up spending all of the time I could have been doing something, mindlessly doing nothing. Watching KZclip shorts on an endless loop while I argue with my brain on what to do. From the outside, I just seem lazy and unmotivated. But in reality I'm running every scenario in my head with no real push towards a resolve. It only ends when I either fall asleep, or something finally grabs my attention.
I can't help but feel like the attention issues are accompanied by depression. But considering nothing is diagnosed because of money, I could just be talking out of my ass.
Hey, I used to do the same thing then one day I got sick of myself and sprung into one of my tasks without letting myself think about it - don't think, just DO.
The depression comes from the lack of dopamine which occurs when we try to not do the things that make us feel good.
The depression comes from the lack of dopamine when we try not to do the things that make us feel good.
@gauntful @A Minner THIS! And then I create scenarios in my head for what really important letters or emails I probably have missed and how can I explain that at 45 of age, I cannot open my mail and - it becomes a vicious circle of anxiety, guilt and feeling all the more blocked. I talked about this with a therapist in my 20s (for anxiety) and she could not understand why the fact that I would feel better after having dealt with it, did not motivate me. Neither did I. Now that I learn about ADHD, I finally do and I know that my feeling of "I'm just wired differently" is exactly right.
I love how fast he talks and how concise he is. Perfect for us ADHD'ers . . . I'm usually scrolling my phone, tidying a drawer and trying to find something I lost by now 😂
You just described exactly what I was doing
Lol me too🤣 And the bullet points in 2 different colours really keeps the focus
Same here (and find your comment😅)
I started crying because someone was finally validating what I’ve been dealing with my entire life.
I feel both personally attacked and supported at the same time. He'd bring up an issue I have and explain to the T and Id feel like utter shit, but then give some nice ass advice on how to deal with it so I go from feeling horrible to feeling hopeful. What a roller-coaster ride this was, imma need to take that 3 minute break lmao
Yeah but he never really actually tells you what the prosthetics did need to be in the environment actually are.
Samee here 😭😂😂 I was tempted to skip to see if there was anything positive cause I started to feel attacked
@seriouslyjoking2 this person meant s a joke , i personality felt the doctor was talking about me, hhh.
@seriouslyjoking2 it's a figure of speech....
They feel called out....
Woa! The opening sentence. "You can know stuff, but you won't do stuff." That's the absolute definition of what it feels like. So many aspirations, ideas and dreams, and yet, when it comes to execution.... Just no.
I don't know I think it's more about motivation I can do plenty of stuff just not stuff that doesn't engage me, I'm actually very productive when I'm interested in what I'm doing.
@Just Me during covid and dealing with a toxic friendship and business failure I was taking as high as 100mg and finally drop to 7.5mg since Dec 2021 to now.
@Just Me ❤
So true...
I’ve put myself down many times for that very reason…… not realizing there’s a real disorder I’m
Dealing with….. 😢😢
This is the most amazing information I’ve ever received on ADHD, 31 years of being called lazy and heckled despite giving it my all
I'm at a point where my ADHD is finally overcoming the little natural ability I have when it comes to finding success. Struggling so hard with knowing what needs to be done but never really being able to do it has seriously demolished my faith in myself. This video articulates the external motivations very well, which perfectly explains why I am so obsessed with video games (aside from the aspect of escaping my life that is crumbling by my own hand). I've been driven to a very dark place having struggled with seeing the crappy fate I am damning myself to while not having what I thought was raw willpower to change it, but this video has shined a ray of hope. I realize now that I have become nigh obsessive with cleaning just for a taste of order and executive function. No clue how this came into my recommended, but it gives me hope :)
You are most certainly amongst friends here! I can't get off of the stimulation of the computer solitaire games (never did learn how to use all those darn buttons on modern game controllers!), because it seems to be one of the only things I can concentrate on and see through to completion. Never mind that I have TONS of work to do around here... 😕
You're a naturally gifted writer, Smohn Jith. Able to encapsulate the feeling of it very well. Have you thought of writing personal essays?
I feel the same way. Currently seeing an ADHD specialty/life coach and it’s really nice to have someone hold me accountable and to help guide me and organize my life. It’s still a struggle but I’m hoping I can gain control of my life for once. I wish I didn’t have this curse and it’s held me back my entire life.
i'm in the same place right now and i wanted to kill myself a couple of months ago but i went to an intensive therapy program and it helped a lot. don't be afraid to reach out and get help because depression only makes the adhd worse
Respect. I'm also at the tipping point of natural talent and brain power succumbing to executive and motivational systems shutting down.
"We are under-treating the most treatable disorder in psychiatry" !! I am 58 and I was diagnosed just last year - 2 weeks ago I started my medication - let's see how it goes 🙂
Hey, twylaa100 How are things going?
Good luck 👍
Let us know if Neurogenetic Therapies work, please. As undiagnosed adult, who lost executive function after 2 head injuries, I'm trying to find Dr who will prescribe....
How are the meds helping?
This is crazy, it has taken me about 26 years to understand half of this stuff and it's all summed up here, all the struggle I've had in my life summed up in 13 minutes and possible solutions I haven't implemented, this has been really informative, thanks a lot
As someone who went into the naval nuclear field with adhd, without medication the entire time, the constant "point of performance" testing really got me to overcome some of the struggles I had with focus and my work ethic. Fantastic lecture
Did that helped you?
It’s like watching your life in third person. I’m constantly yelling at the guy holding the wheel not to do things or TO do things and it rarely connects. Then I have a day or week of epiphany where I decide how I’m going to get my life together, start writing things down and what not. I get so into it that I forget other things like eating, drinking water, self care and get so exhausted from all of the effort it takes to be “normal” that I abandon it all together and do it all again a month or two later. I’m tired.
This hit home..same, bruh.
I don’t want to do things
Yes this!! Mind-blowing how you articulated what I've been feeling for years.. and yes, tired 🥺
@Christopher Boydthat’s why all of my To Do lists start with this task:
✅ 1. make a to do list”
… that way I always get at least one thing accomplished ! 🎉🤓
@Cyn Me. Me too. 😕
2:45 As someone with ADHD, imposing more consequences as a child by authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) just eroded my ability to handle stressful situations as an adult and, over a long enough period of time, gave me crippling lifelong anxiety to go with my ADHD, since I was so conditioned to expect emotional pain from those around me. In other words, it did nothing but burn me out, and it's made me a less functional adult.
Same here. Messed me up for life. Even now at age 26, everyone over the age of 14 is an authority figure to me.
Same.
that accountability thing really hit home for me. I NEED to be held accountable by other people or else shit does not get done.
This has been on my watch later queue for MONTHS. I took weeks to finish the last 2 pages of a 25-page ADHD chapter in a behavioral neuropsych text. This video is so concise, insightful, and therapeutic.
This is the struggle for me. I found out I had ADHD at the age of 37. I spent most of my 20s doing just enough at the last second to survive. But I was able to survive. When I got into my 30s, and started to get more responsibilities and more people depending on me, I floundered. A lot. Once I was diagnosed, I started medication and making lists and breaking things up into smaller tasks. But now at 40, all of the things I do to keep my ADHD in check feel like a prison, and I want to go back to my 20s when nobody counted on me but myself.
@nuynobi Oh, I didn't mean to imply that your wife didn't pull your weight! Just thought a reshuffle of "jobs" might be an option. Obviously, you already had that idea and so I just hope somehow easier times will come again soon!
@Jule N Thanks. I too set up automatic payments whenever possible. My wife's not so great with numbers. That's why the taxes are my job. She pulls her weight. She runs a tight ship.
@semantechx I would like to try meds. I'd need to get a diagnosis first and I've been procrastinating pretty hard on that. I'm a little worried I won't get it, and then the only explanation for my predicament is that I'm a lazy fuckup.
@nuynobi Brute force is the perfect expression for it. Brute force of will. And while I don't have a family, I completely understand unravelling under responsibilities of adult life. I work around bills by making it standing ordersor direct debit mandates. And yes, I will be too slow to adjust these but at least something is getting paid. As for the taxes (just did the ones for 2021...three weeks ago) - can't maybe your wife take over? No matter how, I do hope and I'm rooting for you that you find your way back to some ind of balance!!
@nuynobi I'm realizing this about myself as well, at age 26, is medication an option for you?
As someone who has ADHD it took me about 3 hours to get through this video without being distracted.
I've found that my phone is my biggest distraction, limiting phone time is vital to outgrowing ADHD.
@Alejandro Villegas it's explained in the video.
@Maxwell Barnhart Frontal lobe cooperating? Could you elaborate?
@Alejandro Villegas with that said, i can make small changes. I can control myself to some extent. The point is that we are talking about developing behaviors consistently enough to achieve real functionality.
But also you might have some work to do in how you perceive this dysfunction, because "outgrow" implies that its a remnant of childhood. Youre just going to beat yourself up if you keep thinking of it as a personal failure.
@Alejandro Villegas literally the first 10 seconds of the video explain why one with ADHD can NOT "just do it" simply because they know what needs to be done. I know what needs to be done. So what is my problem? Lack of self discipline and willpower right? So now that i know that, i should put that knowledge to use. That would be fantastic if my frontal lobe would actually cooperate with the rest of my brain. Maybe then I could effectively just discipline myself into a functional life.
i'm someone who's been viewed as intellectually brilliant (34 ACT score, top college, etc) but can never bring myself to do anything but the minimum. everything is rushed, last minute, i have no motivation. i always blamed myself, or thought i was just depressed or thought i was just lazy. this guy literally made me cry. i have been a prisoner to my adhd for years but blamed myself the whole time. i see a psychiatrist for medication this week.
I feel this. I just did an intake teat for a local community college and scored highest possible in all three exams. The administrator was like, hushed tones excited. I told her, my intelligence has never been the problem.
Same. I have an insane level of priori understanding due to the sheer amount and accuracy of my internal simulations
Whatever I try, I can succeed at and do excellently
The problem is trying
I never do, I'm afraid at failing and that is also something I don't do
I realize that sounds arrogant, but I'm really not trying to be
I am locked inside a prison of my own mind, a waste
Meeee
Did it help?
I would love to see further information on how adults with ADHD can combat executive dysfunction without other people to build an environment for them.
As an adult living with ADHD, I need help to learn to function as an independent person.
Use a timer. Watch or phone. Get a task list . Get an agenda book
Thank you so much. Ive struggled my whole entire life and am now starting to work on my mental health and having adhd. I feel extremely heard and seen by this video. The first time i took medication for adhd i cried tears of joy at the sense of calm and peace i felt for the first time in my whole life. I means so much that their are people like you out there educating the public about adhd. Thank you
A very good summary and explanation of the executive dysfunction/frontal lobe problem in ADHD. Most people, including many doctors, have no real comprehension of what ADHD is really like and how severely it impacts your life. Also, it manifests in lots of different ways, as well as differently in individuals and people of different ages and genders. Even with medication it's still a constant struggle.
"I know but I can't" Is such a perfect way to describe me and i never knew that until now. I actually did extremely well until towards the end of middle school then into high school since homework became something that took longer to do and was worth more overall. I was in advanced classes and literally held my own until homework and projects were worth more then whatever I did in school. When covid hit and we had to do online school it practically destroyed my grades. I only passed thanks to my family supporting me to reach the minimal grades as well as going to school in person even if all the work was still online and even then it was hard for me to stay commited when games and books were a few clicks away.
I think I will try to use some of these methods to get my life together or maybe seek medication since I did take adderall when I was a child. These past few months have been constant stress over not doing anything without listening to that stress since I just don't have deadlines or punishments to enforce my choices.
Have you tried exercising to help?
I like to come back to this when I am struggeling with something (or just life lol). I have very few people Who actually understands my issues, and the usual advice is to "just push through It" or "well most other people have to deal with the same". It makes me judge myself and I feel even worse. This validates my struggle and confirms that: yes I do have a Harder time doing things others manage just fine, and that is okay. This helps me forgive myself and it makes me feel less lonely and understood. Thank you so much for your efforts on this very important matter, you are helping alot of people Who struggle with ADHD. ❤️
@DF I was excatly the same. Understanding the mechanisms of ADHD makes it easier to cope with my struggles. Especially with everyday things that others don't seem to have issues with. Cleaning, dishes, making it on time. Glad to hear you found a way to handle your issues friend
Omg I thought I was the only one. Yes the judging of yourself makes you feel worse - to this day. I was undiagnosed as a child the school just gave me special needs and made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So glad I'm an adult who understands this now.
1 minute and 34 seconds in and this man already seems to understand me on a deeper level than all of the people I've ever spoken to (including psychiatrists) combined. Wow
1 minute 30 for me
💯
Não tenha dúvidas. Em Portugal, alguns psicólogos e psiquiatras dificilmente sabem o que é tdah
100%. Holy shit.
My whole life I've struggled with ADHD. And I've always wondered why when it comes to work or school I feel like I function so much better when I have certain environments that I associate with certain things that involve executive function. I feel like my most productive job I've ever had was being a barista at Starbucks and I realize now it helps me focus on what I'm doing because I can always see the customers in the lobby, and everything I needed to make drinks was right there where I could interact with it.
I always wondered why I had so much trouble waiting tables, it's like I had so much less to do but the second I'm not looking at my customers and walk into the kitchen everything I write down just goes out the window. I've had to learn a lot of mental imagery, trying to think of different areas within a workspace as all being in the same place so I don't compartmentalize my tasks in a way that makes me less productive. Clipboards and writing things down have helped me immensely, however I really think that having like four timers stuck to my somewhere is probably what I need to do now that I'm a nursing assistant and half way through nursing school. I've heard ICU nurses only have like two patients so I think that just dumping all of my attention into two people instead of working on a med surge unit with like 5 or 6 will really help me stay on task.
Hey Jeremy- another Starbucks employee here and experiencing your same symptoms. You just blew my mind and I’m so grateful for you. It makes so much sense. I hope you are doing well and wishing you the best of luck navigating this 💚
So refreshing to hear him say they’re under treating. I finally received a diagnosis at the age of 32 but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Every time I brought this up, i felt like I was being criminalized and the doctor would avert the topic. I intentionally found a WOC, assuming she wouldn’t treat me as such, and I started treatment last week. My brain finally feels a tad bit more manageable.
The fact that this knowledge is available for free is wild. Thank you
Awww I really appreciated this man’s talk. Makes so much sense… I went undiagnosed most of my life until my son ended up being diagnosed and I found out it was genetic and it all began to make sense. Very grateful 🙏🏻
My ADHD child who is also a type 1 diabetic 😅 That aside, this is very helpful! I’m also ADHD and this resonates 100%.
Wow, this hit home for me. I've always described my ADHD like driving in a Formula 1 race car, but you're stuck in LA traffic your whole life.
I had a test pilot, Air Force Colonel, describe me as a multi engine, aircraft with far too much power, and undersized control surfaces, which don’t work consistently.
That's actually a pretty good description of it.
@Shyam NG Krsh I have been trying to work on the problem. I didn't know till last year that I have ADHD. I've also been working on the word vomiting, impulsiveness, organizing, and procrastination. Good on you for keeping that part in check; it's not easy.
@Vince I just found my clone. The only difference is that I let them go instead of yelling at those ppl Im supposed to respond aggressively
I was born with ADHD and sometimes people take me as someone who doesnt spend time with working or have hobbies, but i've also learned how to make mods for the games i kinda get bored playing, i'm basically learning how each game works and basically dissasembling and reassembling the framework with those few modifications.
I'm crying while watching. All the shaming from my family and church, this man explained why I just can't get stuff done. 😭😭
As a 45 yo ADHD that has had major issues dealing with life in general, i know this all to be very accurate. My personal life is (eventually ) set around exactly the same intentions as described here in the slides ( and explained splendidly i might add). I was able to even finetune some parts of my routine and feel a lot less guilty about my need for sugar LOL 😆 Thank you for posting this ! May it help others dealing with this disorder. 🙏
I knew the sugar cravings were related...dopamine... Adderall or marshmallows :-)
Yes! This is the first time I've heard that sugar can help with ADD symptoms. When I get "hangry" my function goes to shit.
I think Dr. Barkley has saved my life. This and ADHD tiktok videos helping me realize that I'm not alone or broken, as well as my last therapist reccomending that I get tested for ADHD years ago. My parents are deeply frustrated with my executive dysfunction, as am I. It felt like my quality of life was awful, and I would never be able to make anything of myself. All because I couldn't do what I needed to. My mother will say things like "you just have to" and "you need to push yourself harder" and "sometimes you will have to do things you don't want to." Revealing a deep misunderstanding of my situation, to the point where I just stop talking to her about my executive functioning. I've felt worthless and awful and suicidal because I couldn't get myself to do things. And when I did, I'd become quickly exhausted, have an empty tank, and no idea on how to refill it. Knowing that what's likely wrong with me is treatable gives me so much hope.
@hamster I deleted it a few months ago, but thank you! I definitely noticed how addicting and easily accessible it was. Plus there was so much misinformation, and ads, and I'm much better off learning what interests me from mentors and professionals and reliable sources.
Yo i can totally relate to what you're going through with your parents. Just wanted to comment and say that you should definitely be trying to get off tiktok and other scrolling apps as much as possible even if they seem helpful. They really exacerbate adhd symptoms due to the amount of new stimulus you get every time you scroll. I completely deleted my tiktok account last month and my adhd is starting to actually become manageable now for once in my life. A good analogy to think of is to think of your adhd brain as naturally "obese". Every time you scroll tiktok or instagram view it as "junk food" which is bad for everyone but also exceptionally horrible for someone who's already obese. And whenever you meditate think of it as "exercise" which is good for everyone but also exceptionally beneficial for someone who's obese.
Stunned. Shocked in silence.
The first time ever that I completely accept that I have ADHD. Always felt that everyone who claimed they had it sounded like they were out to find an excuse tu their attention deficit or lack of goal issues. But this.. Time and the management of it is the key thing I hit up against over and over in my life.
I'm a story artist at a major animation studio, God knows the amount of hard work I had to go through to get here.. but yet, this one thing still kills me every single time. Time.
I can only work with timers running constantly. Multiple 10 min, 30 min and 1h 20min timers running at the same time so that I am aware of both short term and longer term time frames.
The job itself complex as it might be, I can get done fast.. But to convince myself it is time to do it now.. that's the hardest. Painful almost at times.
Jeez that first paragraph. Hits me like a truck. I dismissed it for years wondering why people couldn't just do, and if they're even trying.. and I never had the self awareness to see it was actually a huge issue for me heh.
I was in special Ed my whole education and I never truly knew why I was in there I just remember I couldnt retain information and that's all I knew. and in my adulthood now I've know noticed that Ive always had ADHD and it blows my mind how right this guy is. he explains my life everyday. I want a job and do the things I need but I loose track of time and I've always said I never believed In time and little did I know it was time blindness the whole time... I know what to do to make my life better but I don't do it and everyone around me gets so angry and are done with me and call me lazy and I think something is wrong with me and I never knew. I realized alot today.
OMFG, THIS MAN JUST MADE A TUTORIAL ON SPEED-RUNNING ADHD TREATMENT, my adhd brain likes it, thank you so much for putting your research online and on youtube on a ADHD-friendly format
Littlemetalpixie, I made it 46 seconds
I shall seize this brilliant man and talk him in to helping me.
"I'm not going to go through all that right now" translates to "I'm sure if you're watching this video, it's very likely you have ADHD and I'm probably starting to lose you since I'm 12 minutes into a 16 minute video."
Thank you, doctor. You are correct.
I basically had to piece this together myself over the past decade... especially with the last year of me being unemployed. It was hell. Still worth the watch tho
Havent finished the video yet, but even at this point you have helped me in how I can explain my struggles with ADHD much more clearly.
Most accurate description of me I’ve ever heard! 49 years old and suddenly it all makes perfect sense
It's exactly everything I needed to hear for 30 years. I should have figured this out years ago, but when you live with a disorder that puts your mind in the backseat of the vehicle that is your body, it's hard to notice the disconnect between yourself and your actions. It helps the pieces of the puzzle fit together nicely to help you see the bigger picture. This is the first step into helping us figure out how to handle the day to day, the signs we should look out for, and ways for us to self-treat that have very impactful and effective results.
As an adult, who was diagnosed as a child but parent refused to treat and manage, I am so surprised of hearing this in words what I have felt for years but never had words for.
This really resonated for me. At age 53, I feel like, despite having a lot of good education, good work ethic, etc., I just never been able to make the pieces of my life "fit" together properly to achieve even modest success. This gives me new hope. I'm going to get tested.
This man has probably the single greatest understanding of this disorder on the planet.
@Erik Kaye I would like to know more about what you say regarding ADD.
@Alan Berkeley who is Conners?
How do you explain all the people who are relating to the video? The testimonies of people? This video is liberating to me. Knowing the truth sets you free. Gives hope.
@Alan Berkeley how much of what passes as ADHD is from childhood trauma and or brain damage from childhood vaxxines?
@Alan Berkeley Did he actually say that it’s a chemical imbalance in this video? I will have to rewatch it I guess. I think a lot of ADHD is from childhood traumas. Trauma has been scientifically proven to alter a person’s brain. It’s more neurotransmitter issues than chemical imbalances IMO. Your brain can be re-wired, still looking into that.
@Alan Berkeley if it’s a BS disorder, how do you explain the first 24 seconds of the video to me? Because that’s exactly what happens to me.
Just because he’s a shill doesn’t mean everything he says is not true. I won’t be running out to get on an ADHD drug just because of this video. But I will take what I learned to help figure out my self and help me to function better.
He stated himself that exercise is very important and useful for people with ADHD. I will be going that route coupled with the other useful suggestions he made before I ever resort to taking a drug.
How do you explain people who have what they list as ADHD symptoms? So many people in the comments relating to what he’s saying. What’s really wrong with us?
I’m almost 30 and I’ve been asking this about myself for years! He explained it perfectly
100%. I am a 43-year-old woman who was diagnosed at the age of 7 and was never medicated. I struggle on a daily basis to function in life. And at my age I am scared to go to my doctor because now I don’t want to be viewed as someone seeking medication for ulterior motive. Frustrating to say the least.
I always told people that about myself growing up. If I don't do it physically, I won't understand it as much. Its like this guy just explained my whole thought process in 7 min.
That first sentence literally sums it up. Unable to follow through has been my Achilles heel since I was a teenager. Took medication from 1st grade through 12th and made straight A's. Started college, stopped medication, and my whole behavior changed. I would literally drive to the college campus, and sometimes just sit in my car or hang outside campus and skip class. SELF SABATOGE is how I've come to describe my adhd behavior over the years. I know what I need to do, but I find a way to mentally psych myself out. Its as if I fail because I'm afraid to fail. A Viscious cycle.
@Mike Spot on.
Car paralysis is so realllllllllll. I sit my car and go you can do like 80 yimes before i get out and go.
Why did you stop taking meds?
@Amanda Bracken Be ;patient, it can take many tries to finally get a proper diagnosis.
I just got help 6 months ago. I sat starting at my home for a full day bawling. Literally overwhelmed at how fkng hard I had been trying...for 46 years. It's so different.
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but it just explains all my problems so damn well.
I love this lecture and his explanations and his emphasis on the feasibility of the interventions for ADHD.
Thank you. This revealed so much and added depth to things I’ve been realizing the last few weeks
His fuel tank analogy is 100% right.
Once I am wiped out it's over.
My ADHD has caused me to not pay speeding tickets on time even when I had the money, then I got my license suspended for non payment.
I knew I had a ticket to pay and thought I had more time.
Well over 2 months went by and to me of felt like 2 weeks.
Time either moves fast for me or if I M bored time will send still.
Thank you, sir, you REALLY make (and made) a big change in helping all people with ADHD.
I swear to God, it feels as though he is speaking specifically at me. He is able to clearly explain what I feel inside that I just can't explain. It's so scary that he's 100% spot on.
@12centuries I don't wanna think about it lol.. I could have done so many more great things and be much more than I am today.
I am going to say same as well because good grief it feels like the entire video was put on a pinpoint with how accurate is
@12centuries JESUS THIS COMMENT RESONATES INSANELY
Thank You so much Dr Barkley for all you have done for the ADHD community. You are are our voice..🧠🙏🙌
I feel so validated listening to this. Something I often wondered but didn’t really realise
Wow. Now I understand my needs to create a "scaffolding" in my life and the predictability of it working when present. Thank you for the lecture.
This man in under 14 minutes revealed more truths about me than my mom could ever yearn to understand. I was called lazy told I was destined for prison by my father for quite a lot of my life, though I’m sure the 2-5 bottles of cheap whiskey a week didn’t help with that. I will work to take advantage of the opportunities I’ve already been given, maybe even get medicated.
I'm going to see my doctor because of this video, and am already taking steps in my life to improve things based on even the most basic advice I see here. Thank you!
I am an adult with ADHD. It got diagnosed when I was 50. Daily meditation for even 5 minutes, has been helpful to quiet the mind and hear the inner intelligent voice that guides me-aside from all the external distractions. I think the more you learn about adhd and how it affects you, the more you can help yourself. I have also found that I need to get started on projects right away, and consistently do a little bit at a time. Some days are better than others and on bad days it can be a minute-to-minute struggle, which can be frustrating, but if I keep at it, the brain settles down a bit. Exercise is very helpful!
Shideh, I was also diagnosed later in life and can empathize with everything you said. Knowledge is power.
@R MH Theres no such thing as sheer determination, there is only the capacity to do what you can with what you have. everyone has some otherwise you would need to be drip fed because you cant drive yourself to perform basic survival tasks. Everyone also has the capacity to form habit. therefore, be smart about it and there is a way. Smart means to know yourself, which apparently you dont seem to. Just because you suffered for many years doing the same neurotic strategies to lift yourself out of it does not make you somehow qualified to comment on the validity of these methods which you seem to have applied incorrectly. Re-evaluate and try again. Fail many times until you fine tune your self awareness to the point where you can acutely understand what exactly your brain will listen to and what it wont listen to. Its simple but its not easy, making it sound like progress is futile is very harmful 'advice'. Its not about beating yourself up along the way, it is in fact possible to fail without hating yourself, you just need to know what you are capable which is much less than you seem to imagine when you set these lofty goals.
@keshvwn ` Certain foods and probiotics (re gut microflora and their impact on the brain) can impact neurotransmitters, yes. But it's tricky and often imprecise way to treat, and not without its own side-effects if one has food intolerances. Not to mention it can be even more expensive (and hit-or-miss) than meds.
@Rcaddictionmania I tried for years. I literally cannot grow my ability to focus through sheer determination anymore than can a man with one leg walk as if with two without aid. Not for any amount of time. Pretending otherwise is futile and self-shaming, and I don't like to se others spreading such discouraging and unhelpful -- in fact, harmful -- 'advice'.
Perfect information, thank you!!! I've been racking my brain to help my child, and I believe I found it!!! 🙏🏽🕯
My mom figured most of this out in the eighties, dealing with me. Only issue was she didn't think medications would help. As I got older I discovered meth. It was amazing how much it helped me, but being illegal caused other problems. So I quit, went to the doctor to ask about Adderall, and was labeled a drug chaser. Ten years later my moms dead, I don't trust doctors, I don't do meth, and my adhd ruins every relationship and job in my life. This video should be played on every network like a presidential address, everyday for a few months, to get some social saturation. While my adhd is my problem, it would sure be helpful if anyone other than the afflicted and specialized physicians had this knowledge, regular people should be able to understand and help.
@zombiedeviant FUCK. YES. 1,000 times.
Wow. Sorry to hear your story. I tried to get medication a few years ago and the doctor was making excuses not to. I just tried again by seeing a licensed counselor first who does not have prescribing authority. She diagnosed me as having ADHD (it explains so many of my problems since childhood) and said I would have an easier time asking for medication again by explaining this and having the prescribing psychiatrist give her a call to review it. Worth a shot?
I think the problem with ADHD is we're not pointed within the fields of profession that we are built to do such as sales the law arguing the law and even politics. our empathy allows us to read people in an instance to not only know what they need but feel what they do. our ability to have conversations and build extremely strong short-term relationships leaving a lasting impression on people second to none. the fact that when we do set our focus on something it gets accomplished and telling somebody with ADHD that they can't do nothing is exactly how things get done. while there are many personal things in my personal life that I miss out on I would like to be able to give more attention to a loved one but I don't regret the fact that I have the drive to stay focused on task when I'm doing something I meant to do. ADHD will always cause you struggle until you face the fact that it gives you certain innate abilities that you can use to your advantage. we tend to be a little OCD about things as well so adhering yourself to a system following it daily and structuring your goals by the hourly base will help in this
It’s enraging to me that, as a kid: I hit the nail on the head describing what I had. That I just wouldn’t end up doing anything I wanted to do.
Wow! One of the most useful 14 mins of my life (which actually took 3 days to cover)! And the story of my life, that I never understood before! Thanks!
"We're undertreating the most treatable disorder in Psychiatry" - thank you!!!!!
Those of us who have figured it out on our own and seek help are made to feel like drug addicts; we're given medication for things like anxiety and depression, with the side effect of "suicidal thoughts." I've been misdiagnosed so many times, it's a wonder I am even alive.
Look for a ADD support group--they usually know doctors who specialize in ADD evaluation. With med insurance paying for the testing, you can go see a Behavioral Psychologist who will do a bunch of tests and find your ADD if its there. When I went for testing, I was doing really well until they wanted me to learn a list of things. Then they ask if certain things were on the list? List acquisiition has been screwing me up for 68 years! I get confused after two items. IQ is fine, I dress myself and pay my bills, but that little glitch means I get distracted easily, way sooner than other people. I go to work but really have to stress to get work done. No wonder most docs see us as depressed and anxious--we are! But that's not the root problem, that's a symptom of ADD/HD. The frustration leads to depression, treat it with stimulant meds for a real help.
O sorry that happened to ya btw 😅 but there is another way no meds just hard work and time
O got the adhd diagnosis then evey one around me treated me like shit said I wouldn't accomplish a single thing I got off their meds entering 9th grade, my grades suffered massively that year figured my self out trained my self to things differently found some new work arounds ( if I couldn't do it I had to get around it some how) I'm 43 now self taught in a lot of things great multitasker and can achieve my maximum self for prolonged periods of time with out the aid of sugars or caffeine
@Emma-kate Elliott its true. I went off my anti-depressants once and the withdrawal symptoms were insane. currently trying to get adhd diagnosed. wish me luck!
@Pine Avis it's terrible how they can have such a terrible affect on exactly what they are prescribed for.. there were about 3 that gave me suicidal thoughts.. and no one ever figured out why.. not until I started questioning what the next pill was going to do to my brain.
Wow. Groundbreaking. If only I was helped this way as a child. Thanks so much for sharing!
It's crazy this was 7+ years ago but people are just now hearing about this, including myself. Been going to therapy for a while and been told what I should be doing like I don't know. This was so so beneficial. Protect this Doctor at all costs!!! (Tiktok brought me here)
Wow I can’t believe I just found this! I don’t mean to brag but I’m going to because I am honestly very proud of myself and it backs this video perfectly.
My Junior Year of high school I had a 2.4GPA. I couldn’t study without being distracted, all the material I knew I was unable to act upon, I couldn’t focus, etc. I thought I was stupid. I thought I would never amount to anything. I thought I was a failure.
That was until I saw a doctor 1 month after i graduated from high school and I was diagnosed with ADHD. At first I was confused then that confusion turned to frustration because I thought that meant something was wrong with me.
I was then put on stimulants to help and after 2 months I was totally different. I could focus. I could study without getting distracted 5 mins in, my life had changed.
I then applied to college and got in. I majored in mechanical engineering and my first semester I had a 4.0 GPA. I was in shock and disbelief, how was this possible? Well it was ADHD holding me back. I ended up going on to get a 3.96 GPA in college and I went to law school graduating in the 95th percentile of my class.
ADHD is not a joke if you think you might have it go see someone immediately
My son may have ADHD but was medicine should he be on without harming him?
I am truly grateful for this man. He is god sent 🙏🏼😓 what a mind blowing analysis. Russell has changed my life and I will never forget this man. God bless everyone and I hope we can all make it where we want to go in life one day sooner than later. 💙
This seems really, really spot on. Whenever I'm racing against the clock, it seems like my ADHD brain loves it when there's a strict time limit for something. I seem to delay until the last moment (gotten better at not doing that), but as it's getting closer, it seems more interesting and easier to bother focusing.
My entire life I built systems around me that kept me accountable- when I was in 6th grade I voluntarily went to afterschool detention because they forced you to do homework. When the teachers realized I wasn't supposed to be there they were baffled. I LIKED it, and otherwise I would never start my homework until two *hours* before the deadline. I purposely applied to a college that was known for being a "boot camp". Then COVID came and crumbled those systems I carefully chose. Until then I didn't realize I had ADHD because I was doing well (still struggling but doing well). I failed a class for the first time in my life on the first semester of online class. I felt like I derailed my life because I was lazy and unmotivated. My self esteem tanked, I went through depression, and I'm still slowly picking my way back up with the help of videos like these. Thank you!!
I failed introductory chem in high school and had to go to summer school- best thing ever , I wasn’t allowed to do anything but the assignment while sitting in the class (just me and the science book ) and if i finished my assignment for the day I was allowed to read whatever I wanted as long as I stayed quiet ( a huge carrot to dangle , I love reading for fun ) . We had structured break times . It taught me a lot about how I learn best and how I can manage to be productive .
Dangg that's exactly what happened to me during pandemic.. still hasn't been able to get things together after 1.5 years now😭
@Christopher Boyd I had a 4th grade teacher tell me he didn't care if I did my homework or not. He took away my accountability for homework for the rest of my school career. In addition to the accountability from my teacher, that teacher made my dad mad accusing me of something my dad did, sparky comment on a note home to my parents, so from then on the problem was tge teacher not my undiagnosed ADHD, not to mention i was raised by boomers so they barely knew I existed a majority of the time so no consequences at home either. But from then on to my adolescent brain heard teachers do not care about my homework so no consequences they will just give me a F not hurting them any, my parents hardly notice so nope no consequences, sweet I hate homework anyway. Now I was eventually held accountable and that's when I learned the "do just enough to get by" to fly right under the radar. Mist of my detentions were being late to class. Haha go figure 😆
I got the detention because I was so bored in class and would be distracted by something outside, or just talk to others. I always passed my exams though. On the flip side.. I was the first (11yr old) in Secondary school (UK) to get six strokes of the cane for all the above.... on my first day!!!
How things have changed.
Thank you for sharing, I really relate to your experience. I started presenting a lot more symptoms of ADHD after Covid; I was working on starting a video production business and I realize now that the friends I was with kept me accountable to do everything i was doing. Then after quarantine, isolation and losing some of those relationships I feel like I've completely changed. I realize now I need to be able to support myself to continue to pursue my goals.
Thank you for sharing your experience :)
This is the most concise window of explanation and preventive measures regarding ADHD there is on the internet. Funnily enough, I was practicing these steps before learning them that those are what one with ADHD should do. But it took years for me to perfect. And they are scribbled in self help articles not directly related to ADHD. They are listed under HOW TO BE PRODUCTIVE, HOW TO HAVE AN IDEAL WORKPLACE, HOW TO MAXIMIZE PRODUCTIVITY, etc etc but never under ADHD.
Very grateful for this video, something that I can actually show to the people close to me and build actual solutions. My biggest bugbear is that yet again I have to extrapolate this info into an adult context - it's yet another talk focusing on kids and homework and marbles in the classroom. He glossed over the slide for adults in 30 seconds. If you've reached adulthood before being diagnosed, chances are that your stakes are very high and you face very serious consequences if you don't get a grip over these facets of the disorder. I was diagnosed last year at age 42, combined-type. I'd nearly lost everything leading up to this. I'm now in a senior corporate job with a lot of responsibility and forced to use workplace processes and software designed for neurotypical adults (Microsoft Office, instant messaging, Chrome) to do my job that hijacks all these brain weaknesses he's describing. Medication has been lifechanging, but my partner, family, friends, bosses and team-mates have no idea of the minute-by-minute battleground I'm exhausting myself in just to get myself to baseline functioning in the real world. Adults in my position DESPERATELY need solutions for adult contexts. It's really, really frustrating that 90% of the tools and information available about ADHD still focuses on children.
I was diagnosed as an adult. The perception of time eludes me. This person seems to understand that better than anyone I’ve ever encountered. Recent Drs opinions aide on treating me as more on the autistic spectrum. Being decisive and regulating servitude/submissiveness is one of my biggest challenges. I’ve decreased in my career continually and am unable to apply my intelligence and skills in highly monitored and strictly categorical environments which have distinct chains of command; I become passive and intimidated and depend on external cues of when and what to do. I’m single and living alone and it feels like a curse, I can’t achieve goals as easily alone as with people who share such high standards and values. I risk sounding egotistical but I have to be candid so that I understand why I’m considered disabled or why medication is so taboo when it distinctively helps me. So what the hoo let me give my testimony. I fill my life with Knowledge and I conceptually understand things but it’s like reality is a movie and I’m a passive observer since time has no bearing on me. “Boredom” has always had no meaning to me; “purpose” is my main source of self value and I see the world as dominantly riddled with meaningless and manipulated actions of “purpose” based on hierarchical power structures. I’m highly compliant and people pleasing and assertiveness and decision making has always been a struggle- adhd medicines help me to actively participate in functioning to do what I want. I conceptualize that as a social challenge, which I suspect is why it seems like autism. Being sovereign seems like my most functional state being someone who is highly inspired and full of ideas yet cannot as executively commit to and process the execution or facilitation of chosen pathed. Commitment seems purely external and physical process; I sense no limitation on sincerity and understanding or empathy, but I don’t quantify commitment to people or goals by time or working memory. It’s ever-present. Distinct tasks are achievable. Linear time bears no construct in my minds eye, and I cannot conceive of time in past or present.
Recently diagnosed with ADHD at 29, after 14+ years of struggling and trying to keep my head above water. Got 30 seconds in before I started crying lol. "You know stuff, but you won’t do stuff. […] You won’t be able to care for yourself as effectively as other people. You have INTENTION Defecit Disorder". Thank you Russell Barkley for your work and clear-sightedness.
Same here, hang in there
This and my past year was a great discovery for me in my entire life I learned a lot , like it was my self realisation period 😊 I'm here smiling so satisfied with who I am , these were usually my confusion in my upbringing life , the what's happening with me questions but now all these discoveries made so Much light and self actualization time , I now know everything about me you know , no one can stop me now 😊 I'm in my greatest time
This is the best video I’ve ever seen on ADHD. Just diagnosed with adult ADHD, at 48. One week on adderall, it’s like putting on glasses and finally being able to see the blackboard of my past.
@June Ack I went through every med until Vyvanse was the only thing left. I'm blessed that my hubby's insurance will cover it because it really is a life changer for me. It also doubles as an anti-anxiety for me. Forget to take the anti-anxiety, ok, I can still handle not panicking...most days. But miss the Vyvanse? Oh lordy I'll be lucky to get ANYTHING done. And I still need the caffine (focus not energy, oh how I wish it would give that mythical energy boost I hear about) and sugar to supplement because I can't take the max dose (fml). The generic still is a long way out unfortunately...probably...I don't actually remember WHEN I talked to my friend that combines all the chemicals to make all the things. But he laughed when I said I was wondering when the generic would come out cuz it's expensive af. Aka not for a long time probably. It's late, the Vyvanse is wearing off so sorry for the ramble. I just came to say I laughed at the Waiting for vyvanse to go generic.
Adderall was definitely a honeymoon phase for me at the beginning of treatment. I’m just in fear of tolerance. Plus while it helps me be calmer and my sex drive has been IMMENSELY suppressed (good thing), it doesn’t help if my anxiety is not occurring from my symptoms- by another factor. On adderall I was able to take one more mental note, like staying on a specific task for a longer period of time, while without I’d have to constantly remind myself. “Out of sight, out of mind”
OMG - what a great metaphor, “finally seeing the blackboard of my past.”
@TheDudestDude how u now?
Adderal hasn’t been working for me. Went from all levels. High to low to medium. I still feel stuck. On lex and Welbrtn as well. Waiting for vyvanse to go generic. May work. It’s good to hear things working. It motivates me. Thank you for sharing
I had a MASSIVE holy f*ck moment watching this. I’m 24 and realized on my own that I have ADHD but it would’ve been obvious if anyone was paying attention as a kid. Now, I have to hold myself accountable and keep track of my executive functions, with a job and hobbies that I never touch and burnout. This is incredibly valuable. Thank you.
Dr. Barkley, this is a well organized and able to understand video. Brilliant; I commend and thank you. Both my husband and daughter have ADHD. I wish we’d all had this to watch. Life was not easy, for them or me. Astute teachers recognized a “problem” in my daughter at age 5. We had her diagnosed; she is treated with medication and had the full advantage of getting student ADHD coaching from professionals through all her grades 2-12. She has just graduated Magna Cum Laude from a fine private 4-year college.
My husband, a physician, resisted testing and assessment until I told him I’d have to leave the marriage. His “unpredictability” was moderate to severe. Confirmed at Duke University he now uses medication (which he raves about) and it took some convincing from me, but “exterior scaffolding and gadgets” he reluctantly began to use greatly improved his executive functioning. He doing progressively better with each year.
This confirms that I think I have this. I used to use a journal and set goals, keeping myself accountable. Designed a token therapy to get myself to do things. Visualise before or after work and study using self hypnosis, depending on shift patterns. Always had to put posters, charts and to do lists on walls. Always socially awkward. Life without these strategies has fallen into disarray. So back on it!
Honestly, I have not heard my life described so adequately ever. Thank you for some direction.
6:45 I ended up earning a bachelor of science in Applied Mathematics, graduating summa cum laude, and I'm currently a year into a master's degree in mathematics (focusing now on Statistics and Operations Research). I found out pretty quickly that the best thing I could do for myself was to be as thorough as possible, writing down a lot more than one might normally need, because I couldn't mentally keep track of enough information at the same time like other people could. Not having to think as hard how I can make progress by breaking down everything into a bunch of baby steps, rather than taking big leaps going from one step to the next, helped build good test-taking muscle memory and also learn the material very thoroughly.
In other words, the "physical" thing I put in front of myself to keep track of everything better was, well, pencil lead on paper. I couldn't get myself to switch to any sort of digital format either because I knew I needed something I could physically hold and make changes to. It was very difficult to achieve what I did, and it was essential that I received accommodations for extended time on exams through my campus' support services for my ADHD (and OCD, and anxiety disorder), but I figured out ways to make it possible in the end!
ENFp?
This man has just explained what took me 25 years to figure out in a short video.
Excellent content and so practical.
@che good work, man. Not everyone can watch a whole presentation and absorb literally zero information from it. I'm impressed.
That you're lazy?
@bjugler I can see ur point but I still look at it as the greatest strength but I suffer from the double edge sword that is adhd but I'm willing to give it my all every day so aspiring to do better is my reward and keeps me going
@Mars Alseides yessir. Enhanced kinaesthetic performance gang
@Mars Alseides I think I agree with what you're saying, and weaknesses can be converted into strengths with the correct approach. I am just leery anymore of saying that I think that ADHD has anything built into it that is advantageous as I used to believe. I see it as exclusively a problem now. BUT, that problem can lead to action that results in a net higher functionality than would have been the case absent the problem. Is that perhaps a fair way to describe it?
My goodness this is amazing, it has made me completely now understand what my grandson is going through x
I recall as a young child, I had a fantasy where I was living in an underground bunker. Everything was made of metal. And it would electrify and shock me when I wasn't doing what I needed to get done.
It wasn't a horror scenario for me like I'm sure it would be to many people. It sounded like a perfect answer to all the problems in my life.
The description about building immediate consequences into the environment brought back memories of that old fantasy.
I was diagnosied with ADHD at nearly 40 years old, and now I'm still trying to unravel all the ways it's been impacting me all my life.
I have been to countless doctors, I have schizophrenia, D.I.D (disassociate identity disorder or "multiple personalities") and anxiety. Not once was I ever told I have adhd, and in all honesty that's my biggest problem. I'm so glad I found this. I'm definitely gonna talk to a doctor about this, & see if I can start some medication.
I am so glad I was diagnosed with that. I just thought it was my "personality".
Now I am motivated to get some help and take meds !
He just explained everything about me. Including... all this time I thought I was just a fat ass for having m&ms in my work desk that I would suck on while entering the company payroll. NO- I was intuitively self medicating to maintain focus for a long (and massively important) time. This makes SO MUCH SENSE!
Before I was diagnose with ADHD, I thought it was normal to open 10 other videos relating to this video before I was half way done with this video.
Literally me now
@Nikki Olivier :)
@Alan Silverio that's amazing! Happy for you
@Nikki Olivier I used to have about 100 on my laptop and 50 on my phone. After meds it never piled up anymore.
@Alan Silverio omg... I've found my people
I’ve never felt more under stood than I have now, why is this guy not more famous for this
He truly deserves his doctorate, for he understands yet isn't impaired by the disorder.
Very interesting video! Thanks. There's always something that can be done if the involved parties are willing to do the work
This makes so much sense. This is why I’m so successful in my Lyft Driver job. It hits the points he calls out.
I am past 30 and I am heart broken that no one could ever see or recognise or informed me that this was a disability and that it can be cured.