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Is KRISTOFF the PERFECT MAN? Relationship Therapist talks FROZEN 2


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  • nacienunbarco
    nacienunbarco  Жыл бұрын +14483

    The fact that the perfect guy was raised by a bunch of rocks says a lot about Disney’s portrayal of parents.

    • ItsMaggie
      ItsMaggie 2 ай бұрын

      What parents?

    • Stick
      Stick 3 ай бұрын

      @Sydney D rockcism? (Jk)

    • Lorna Vàzquez
      Lorna Vàzquez 3 ай бұрын

      10000% accurate

    • The Observer
      The Observer 4 ай бұрын

      I thought as parents...
      they were pretty solid...

    • 「OctoTrix」 !
      「OctoTrix」 ! 4 ай бұрын

      Well they weren’t just rocks, they were trolls who are “love experts”.

  • Robin Bean
    Robin Bean  Жыл бұрын +11091

    "you can't disagree with emotions" well let me introduce you to my mother

    • Psycho Colonel Sanders
      Psycho Colonel Sanders Ай бұрын


    • selisha ward
      selisha ward 2 ай бұрын

      I wish it was just my mother

    • chinboi
      chinboi 2 ай бұрын

      We've been there😭

    • Stephanie Birmingham
      Stephanie Birmingham 3 ай бұрын

      oh, yeah

    • Debra Blouin
      Debra Blouin 4 ай бұрын

      Yes you can disagree. You better have evidence for why the emotion being heaped on you (which of often expressed with the goal of assigning blame) but you can definitely set a boundary that says how you feel is yours; I won’t leave you alone there, but I won’t own your feelings as if I should take responsibility for them.

  • Elisabeth TenBrink Kelley
    Elisabeth TenBrink Kelley  Жыл бұрын +6921

    I actually really appreciate Kristoff saying "I'm not really comfortable with that." He is gently but firmly expressing a boundary! Sven and his wagon are basically everything he has (not to mention his best friend/pet), and he's not comfortable with the idea of Elsa taking them. But he /is/ comfortable with it when he is there as well.

    • Rachel Frana
      Rachel Frana Ай бұрын

      @Andrew Godly j

    • artnijii
      artnijii Ай бұрын

      Ooff so that was the impression he wanted to portray on that scene? I always thought that he's uncomfortable because he's worried with Elsa going off alone. And yeah when Anna wants to come, he confirmed that they are both worried for her. Or i just misunderstood it? Lmao

    • Stick
      Stick 3 ай бұрын

      That also explains his inability to recognise Anna being too busy for a proposal, at first. It's a pretty obvious social que that she keeps talking about Elsa but she has to walk away before he stops trying 🤦not the best social skills there

    • ItoshiiBaka
      ItoshiiBaka 3 ай бұрын +2

      That's how I interpret it as well. Exactly what I wanted to say. And that kind of communication without getting defensive is so valuable, too.

    • Esperanza Perez
      Esperanza Perez 4 ай бұрын +1

      @Andrew Godly you got this buddy! I’m sorry to hear you are in a rough place. I hope that everything works out for you..

  • Caidalee
    Caidalee 2 жыл бұрын +5422

    I gasped out loud in the theater at “I’m here. What do you need?”. After 25 years of watching movies, I’ve grown up with men “coming to the rescue” and saying things like “I’ve got this, stand back” my entire life. These things were said to women who didn’t need any help (usually until that very moment) by men who were always the main love interest. This “stand back, a man is here to handle the tough stuff, so you don’t have to worry” attitude was normal, even if you didn’t like it. To hear a male love interest tell his female love interest that he’ll follow her lead because she obviously has a plan and he just wants to help her succeed? It was eye-opening. I’m so happy children are growing up with this sort of love interest instead of the shut-up-and-kiss-me ones I did.

    • doro𓁹𓂀
      doro𓁹𓂀 Ай бұрын

      @rangers94ism 'finally does cheat on him' stop comparing "sigma" tiktoks to disney, no just because a woman doesn't devote all her time to you doesn't mean she is uninterested. You obviously haven't even watched both movies because she literally apologises to Kristoff for the very reason. In the first movie, she just met him and at the time was still interested in the main antagonist and is still trying to find her sister who went AWOL after using her ice powers and is currently being tracked down which is why she didn't trust him as much but overtime got to know him, saw he was a good guy and started to fall in love. In the second film she recognises her concern for her sister was hurting him and apologised. You forget we're seeing snapshots of their lives together, you don't know whether she has or hasn't done anything for him in return.

    • ♡CartoonClimax♡
      ♡CartoonClimax♡ 3 ай бұрын

      Chat Noir has always been this for Ladybug. The dynamic quickly turns into this within the first few episodes.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын +1

      @Caidalee OK, but I assume that you have gone out of your way for your husband already. Anna hasn't done anything for Kristoff. That shows me that she doesn't care. As a matter of fact I consider this relationship a countdown towards when she finally does cheat on him. Anna doesn't care about Kristoff. Kristoff on the other hand is in love with his idea about Anna but doesn't actually know her. He says that their love isn't that fragile. Based on what? His love is strong but her love for him is barely there

    • Caidalee
      Caidalee 4 ай бұрын +2

      @rangers94ism I would hope that if I was going through a family crisis, the man who wanted to be my husband would recognize that I couldn’t really focus on him at that time.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын

      @YuniX2 I am sorry but what movies have you been watching? I have a list of films where the female is just what you said.

  • aaa color coded lyrics
    aaa color coded lyrics  Жыл бұрын +1555

    FINALLY someone who appreciates Kristoff as a character! I've always seen people praising Eugene or Naveen, even Hans for some reason, but people hardly recognize Kristoff as a worthy character. I liked him from the first movie itself. He was the voice of reason to Anna's impulsive and kinda stupid nature. He was pissed at her the first time, but he admired the drive in her and also respected her privacy. Even though Elsa was dangerous, he let Anna go to her alone and only came to her rescue after the fight. Obviously, that didn't benefit Anna, but he did what was right. He also respects the fact that she already loves someone, even though he has feelings for her too. I felt like it was a bit weird that Anna immediately turned to Kristoff and accepted him after realizing Hans was a dick. But the second time I watched it, we see throughout the movie that Anna did show signs of liking Kristoff more, being more at home with him and even questioning the fact that she doesn't know Hans as well.
    Frozen 2 is one of my least favorite movies, but Kristoff is the only factor that I really liked in it. Anna's and Elsa's sibling dynamic isn't really that good and the whole family history was kinda boring to me. Kristoff was the only sane man in crazytown. He's a perfect example of a man who doesn't live by toxic masculine standards.

    • (‿ˠ‿)
      (‿ˠ‿) 3 ай бұрын +1

      @rangers94ism Although Disney has addressed issues in their own way through their movies such as familial strains, grief, avoidance and isolation, toxic positivity, etc I don't think they'll go all the way in showing infidelity. I thought you said that Kristoff being reduced to Anna's love interest was a bad thing? Why does Anna have to have Kristoff as her main focus, when you said it's wrong for Kristoff to do so?
      It's obvious that both Elsa and Kristoff are two of the main people that Anna loves the most in her life (that are still alive, sorry parents). I don't consider Anna to have any doubt of her love to Kristoff, nor the other way around regarding affairs. It's more about Anna being torn between Elsa and Kristoff and even then that's not a main thing.
      In love and life, you have to have a steady bond between someone you want to spend a significant amount of time with and having time for yourself and family. If Anna chose Kristoff over Elsa then people would view her as strange to be determined throughout the first movie to get Elsa back and sort things out and end the eternal winter then in the second movie throw her away for a pp attached to an admittedly caring, loving man. Anna has to find a way to have both the people she loves at her side. And that didn't work, but for a good reason. Elsa always wanted to be out in the world yet not isolated. Not alone. And she isn't. Despite how far apart they are, Anna and Elsa still maintain a healthy sisterly relationship through long distance. Even though Kristoff is more at her side, doesn't mean Elsa is gone from there too.
      Anna values her once estranged sister as much as her fiancé. There was relationship problems between Anna and Kristoff but even then that was more one-sided since Kristoff felt conflicted about asking Anna to take a step further with him in their relationship. It's been a while but I don't think Kristoff was doubtful if Anna loved him at all, if she was cheating, etc. He was more worried about how he'll do it. There has been no prior relationship issues regarding other love interests besides Hans and Kristoff respected the fact that they were engaged (not really) despite his developed feelings for her. When he returned to Arendelle it was because he knew something went wrong and wanted to make sure she was safe. Kristoff never once expressed insecurity or jealousy towards another person and felt threatened of his place at Anna's side and in her heart. None at all. He respected her relationship with Hans (even when he questioned that they engaged on the same day they met, anybody would do that because wow. But obviously Hans took advantage of Anna being isolated and yearning for love that she was none the wiser) and let her go have her true love's kiss with Hans rather than pushing her to kissing him instead to see if it would work. It might have, but it would not feel like something Kristoff would do.
      Summary: This is a kid's movie. Enjoy it. No cheating here in a Disney way. Holy shit, this took a while.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 3 ай бұрын

      @(‿ˠ‿) I am talking about infidelity because this shows me that she has other interests from Kristoff. If you are dating someone and they are constantly putting you to the side for other interests then she will cheat on you. She is just waiting for the opportunity.
      Also, it doesn't matter what your intentions are but the results. You can say that you didn't mean to do something but if is the results of your actions then your intentions or what you say it is meant nothing.

    • JotunFalls
      JotunFalls 3 ай бұрын

      I prefer Eugene, but I have to say that even though he isn't attractive to me, Kristoff was an amazing boyfriend to Anna.

    • (‿ˠ‿)
      (‿ˠ‿) 3 ай бұрын +1

      @rangers94ism Also Elsa wasn't trying to destroy Arendelle. It was unintentional.

    • (‿ˠ‿)
      (‿ˠ‿) 3 ай бұрын +1

      @rangers94ism Yo, why is this dude talking about infidelity in a kids movie?

  • Rowan Hutchison
    Rowan Hutchison 2 жыл бұрын +4345

    I know this is about Kristoph and how he asked Anna permission to kiss her. I would also like to point out that in tangled, Rapunzel was the first Disney princess to kiss the guy first. Eugene never tried to kiss her, that was all Rapunzel and that’s awesome too.

    • Nobody's_here07
      Nobody's_here07 Ай бұрын +1

      @Rowan Hutchison Yeah but I feel like you could've worded it better.

    • Rowan Hutchison
      Rowan Hutchison Ай бұрын +1

      @Nobody's_here07 but I Abe clarified that is not at all what I meat. Consent goes both ways always. But the fact is, consent has literally never been addressed in a Disney movie. I was just saying I thought it was awesome.

    • Nobody's_here07
      Nobody's_here07 Ай бұрын +1

      ​@Rowan Hutchison I think they're trying to point out how your statement can be interpreted as a male needs to ask permission (also known as consent) before kissing a female while a female doesn't need to.

    • LilyRose89
      LilyRose89 2 ай бұрын +2

      Nala did it in the Lion King. She licks Simba's cheek during Can You Feel The Love Tonight.

    • JotunFalls
      JotunFalls 3 ай бұрын

      @hypnotherapy69 They never said asking for consent when it comes to kissing is necessary, they just liked that Kristoff did ask.

  • The Last ASMR Channel
    The Last ASMR Channel 2 жыл бұрын +13744

    "My love is not fragile" Man, I don't remember that line from the movie but given this new context it's so AMAZING 🥺

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын

      My problem is that her's is. She will cheat on him before the month is out. Anna doesn't care about Kristoff

    • Aradhya Roy
      Aradhya Roy  Жыл бұрын +1

      I do and it still sounds amazing

    • Eve
      Eve  Жыл бұрын +3

      That might be one of my top ten favorite lines of all time now

    • Laura Celis
      Laura Celis  Жыл бұрын +2

      That line literally made me ball when he said it and no one else in the theater was crying

    • Cloten
      Cloten  Жыл бұрын +3

      That line is pivotal for lasting relationships. Thanks for this mind opening video.

  • GirlMeetsSunshine
    GirlMeetsSunshine 9 ай бұрын +461

    I love that they gave Kristoff a normaly-it-would-have-been-a-girl-singing-this-song song! It shows that boys and men can very well feel emotions and be vulnerable AND comfortable with that. It does so much for the perceiption of men in general. We deserve a fully mature and emotionally available man in our lives (or partner in general). I'm settling for nothing less.

    • Edith Puthy
      Edith Puthy 26 күн бұрын

      @rangers94ism And most Disney princesses except the new original ones were damsels in distress whose biggest aspirations were to find a man, seldom to pursue some passion or be a hero themselves. There's plenty of male-centric Disney movies and they never put so much emphasis on love interests like they do with female leads. It's just the fairytale type of stories that center around princesses.

    • Guilherme Lisboa
      Guilherme Lisboa 2 ай бұрын

      @Satisfied Consumer Ok

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын +2

      @Mona Bohamad2 If you are going to go Disney Princess vs Prince, even the worst written Princess has more personality than any prince. The prince is there to kiss the girl and get married. Wow. Riveting. Or boring.
      The Princess gets the movie named after her, the entire story is completely about her, she gets an arch, all of the creatures of the Earth adore her, and she gets a song where she expresses her inner most thoughts.
      So what were you saying again about how men get treated more like human beings? How about you get your facts straight before you post something as off as this.

    • Satisfied Consumer
      Satisfied Consumer 4 ай бұрын

      @Guilherme Lisboa Then why don't you go do something about it?

    • Guilherme Lisboa
      Guilherme Lisboa 4 ай бұрын +13

      Both of the responses really show whats wrong with Society.

  • John Fiala
    John Fiala 9 ай бұрын +474

    I love Anna’s line when Elsa is refusing to let her come.
    “Excuse me I climbed the north mountain, survived a frozen heart, and saved you from my ex boyfriend, and I did that all without powers. So, you know, I’m coming.”

    • Rem Atmos
      Rem Atmos 4 ай бұрын +10

      Definitely a pretty kickass line

  • Magdalena Mantler
    Magdalena Mantler 2 жыл бұрын +661

    I so remember when in cinema the two sequences - "What do you need?" and "My love is not fragile." - gave me so much warm feelings and I melted into tears. Now I have the exact explanation why. Yes, that is what counts when you really act that way this is what love is about.

  • Lisa Callan
    Lisa Callan 2 жыл бұрын +282

    Honestly was so happy there was finally a love interest for a Disney Princess who wasn't problematic in some way, shape or form. Kristoff has his own business, he may be quirky and socially awkward but he wasn't previously some kind of criminal, he has actual feelings and a personality AND he puts Anna first without being a complete doormat. Literal first time Disney got a man right for a completely relatable Princess and they've had like what? 80 years of these things??

    • JotunFalls
      JotunFalls 3 ай бұрын +9

      Eugene has feelings and emotions too, it wasn't his fault his parents abandoned him as a kid and he had to resort to criminality.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын +2

      No he's a doormat

    • Manna Jacob C.
      Manna Jacob C. 9 ай бұрын +21

      Tiana and Naveen are really cute imo.

  • SamsoniusSkylla
    SamsoniusSkylla 7 ай бұрын +163

    I love how you're better at being my therapist than my actual therapist lmao

  • Sylvani Starchild-St.Clair
    Sylvani Starchild-St.Clair 2 жыл бұрын +21268

    Kristoff won for me in the first Frozen by being the ONLY disney man in history to ASK PERMISSION to kiss the heroine.

    • Jane Hundson
      Jane Hundson 20 күн бұрын +1

      @DragonriderEpona Yeah, in the movies the two princes courted Aurora and Snow White and both the princesses liked them back. And they were happy to be kissed by them. Anna was unconfortable when the Trolls tried to marry (marry!) her and Kristoff! It wasn't consensual and it took away her will! There wasn't even a courtship between the two of them. People still complain about old movies though.

    • DragonriderEpona
      DragonriderEpona 20 күн бұрын

      ​@Jane Hundson Though courtship was actually (at least at a lot aristocratic courts) very much of asking the ladies for approval. At least the songs of trobadors, trouvères, minnensänger and so on relied on this ideology.
      And those were fairytales from the 19th century. Maybe let's agree to some ideologies from people that have its roots somewhere in the past?

    • PelicanPenguin
      PelicanPenguin 22 күн бұрын

      @Nexils But life is way better when you're unconscious

    • Cameron J. Wallace
      Cameron J. Wallace 25 күн бұрын

      Not gonna lie.... If a guy asks me permission to kiss me, I'm going to say no

    • koala🐨
      koala🐨 26 күн бұрын

      ​@Yikko said: an abnormal

  • Diana H
    Diana H  Жыл бұрын +422

    I love this review. I just wanted to point out, which I’m sure has already been pointed out, that Anna’s misunderstanding of Kristof in the first proposal was actually her being triggered by traumatic or distressing events from her past. I don’t think it’s that she was being deliberately obtuse or legitimately misunderstanding, but given that she is in panic mode about her sister it would make sense that she would pick up on these words and panic.

    • Kyosumari
      Kyosumari 5 ай бұрын +10

      @Brianna I LOVE and agree with that interpretation/take-away. I noticed the same. He's a good boy trying to be a good boy and just a little too trusting of others' influences over his own decisions, and i can 100% relate.

    • Brianna
      Brianna 9 ай бұрын +49

      If I recall right, every single one of his proposal attempts save the last one was directly encouraged by an outside person or force. The only time he didn't bring up the proposal, when he shelved his agenda, is when there was nothing influencing his interaction with Anna and the state of the situation.
      Context-wise, it makes sense. He's accustomed to being surrounded by a big family constantly giving him direction and meddling in his choices and his life. If the story was centered on his arc and his story, I can easily imagine it being something along the lines of learning to trust his own judgement over others and standing by that decision.

    • Mayday Baeday
      Mayday Baeday 9 ай бұрын +7

      @Hi leave me alone True... But you'd think after dating her for a while he'd gain some common sense lol

    • Hi leave me alone
      Hi leave me alone 9 ай бұрын +56

      @Mayday Baeday I mean, in his defence, he was raised by rocks who tried to make them marry each other when Anna was dying lmao

    • Mayday Baeday
      Mayday Baeday 11 ай бұрын +48

      This is the one problem I have with Kristoff. The ONE single problem, everything else is perfect.
      His girlfriend's sister is gong through a crisis, and by extension his girlfriend is going through a crisis. Do you REALLY think that NOW is the time to propose? Or maybe wait a bit until this situation is resolved?

  • Sandy Siepert
    Sandy Siepert 2 жыл бұрын +466

    Can you please discuss Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship in the animated series? It was done so well!
    Eugene, to me, is the best Disney male protagonist, period.

    • 7Write4This9Heart7
      7Write4This9Heart7 4 ай бұрын +1


    • Amanda Hobson
      Amanda Hobson 7 ай бұрын +9

      I agree. Especially with the animated series, it shows such a good relationship, lessons learned to understand each other, and support/belief in each other. I think it is one of the most consistantly full relationships in disney.

  • Goji
    Goji 2 жыл бұрын +557

    Kristoff and Eugene are the best Disney "princes" and you will never be able to change my mind about that.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын

      I agree with you when it comes to Flynn Rider but Kristoff is kind of a joke

    • Goji
      Goji 4 ай бұрын +2

      @Beauty From Ashes That's the thing though. The second part I wholeheartedly agree with. The two of them are better because they appeal to our modern standards whereas previous princes were a product of their own time.
      What I do not agree with is that there is an inherent difference between male and female writers. That just implies there's some sort of heavy group thinking between these genders which is just... well one hell of a backwards idea.

    • Felisitas Rerung
      Felisitas Rerung 4 ай бұрын

      And they are not even a prince in the first place

    • Bony Lizzie
      Bony Lizzie 6 ай бұрын

      Small detail, Eugene according to the series, IS a prince:)

    • Giulia Bonechi
      Giulia Bonechi 7 ай бұрын +3

      They might not come from a royal family, but they are true princes.

  • Nessa D
    Nessa D 4 ай бұрын +36

    Kristioph was raised by the trolls who were said to be “love experts”. As love experts, they give him and Anna some great hidden advice in the song “Fixer Upper”. I like the bit,”People make bad choices when they’re mad or sad or scared or stressed; throw a little love their way and you’ll bring out their best.” ❤

  • blue rain
    blue rain  Жыл бұрын +172

    I discovered your channel randomly and I felt like your channel fixed things in my brain I din't even know were broken! Thank you so much for being vulnerable and helpful out there. You've touched me and I hope you more positive recognition that you deserve!

  • lovepeace
    lovepeace 2 жыл бұрын +6251

    Kristof saying "my love is not fragile" Reminds me of the second date that never was in my life. I had just reunited with an old guy friend and we hit it off immediately. We made plans for a real second date but it was cancelled due to an extreme blizzard. I was crushed and told him my disappointment thinking to myself he wouldn't reschedule (many past hurts from other guys). He replied, "What did you think this was a one time thing? We'll see each other again." I was like the Grinch that day. My heart grew 10x bigger. And guess what? I married him. We're on year 10.

    • hellothereSayo
      hellothereSayo 3 ай бұрын

      AWWWWWWWW that's so coool!!

    • Argo
      Argo 4 ай бұрын +2

      My heart just grew three times because that was adorable 💕❤️

    • Rania Baha
      Rania Baha 4 ай бұрын

      This made me soooo happy for you! 😊 Congratulations and I wish for you both to stay together forever!
      Thank you for sharing your adorable story 🥰

    • Lydia Boll
      Lydia Boll 5 ай бұрын

      @Teencat Lol

  • Dellan Pickle
    Dellan Pickle 3 ай бұрын +49

    The stuff about Kristoff not knowing if Anna is as invested as he is really hits close to home. I'm going through the same thing with my girlfriend right now. I've been going through a lot since we've been together, and she's great, but I haven't felt like I had a right(?) to tell her my emotional needs, especially now. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and depression, going to therapy and gonna get my meds sometime next January. It's been really hard, and a LOT of work trying to break out of bad habits and grow more as a person (these videos have actually helped TREMENDOUSLY, I can never thank you guys enough), but I've always been left to work through these kind of things myself. Last week I tried to explain how adhd affected me and why I wanted treatment, and it ended in my dad screaming at me and me crying in my room the rest of the night. I also feel like "damn, she didn't sign up for this, this is unfair to her." Were trying to work through it currently, I'll be back with an update.

    • Banana
      Banana 2 ай бұрын +2

      @Emerson Gonzales I agree, you don't have to feel guilty over something that you had no choice in. I hope that you get in a better place.

    • Emerson Gonzales
      Emerson Gonzales 3 ай бұрын +2

      I'm sorry that you are going through this. Me personally the best thing to do, (you don't have to listen) is to be able to communicate with her. With the stuff with your dad, don't feel bad for that. Your right she didn't sign up for this but you cannot change it, so talk with her about it. Express your feelings on how it makes you feel and how it makes her feel, even lead the conversation to "What should I do differently to not let this happen again". I think you both should ask each other what you guys can do differently in a more bad situation. As I have mentioned before simply share both of your feelings, then help each other get better and grow as a couple. This is just my intake of your situation. I hope you get better!

  • Tereza Kostacká
    Tereza Kostacká 3 ай бұрын +17

    There is actually a song called "Gonna Get This Right" that was cut about Kristoff being so nervous about the proposal that Anna actually ended up being the one who proposed! It's a banger and super cute.

  • Brandon Buchner
    Brandon Buchner  Жыл бұрын +104

    This is my favorite episode. This is the second time i've watched it and it has certainly helped me be a better communicator. When I first watched Frozen 2, I paused it at "i'm here, what do you need" and turned to my girlfriend and was like did you hear that? If i was in the theater with Jonathan i would have high fived him. Even though i had never heard the term "shelving your agenda."

  • Els H
    Els H  Жыл бұрын +88

    I hate the "whipped" thing with guys. My boyfriend is amazing, he's very good at communicating his needs and being considered of my needs. The amount of hate he gets from male friend and family about this is INSANE! If the guys call him to play video games and he askes me if it's Okey (not because he needs to but because he wants to check if we didn't have plans that evening) they call him a pussy and make whipping sounds, such toxic masculinity. I'm so happy he doesn't care and keeps on being an amazing boyfriend 🥰

    • CRAgamer
      CRAgamer 6 ай бұрын +7

      I was called whipped by an ex girlfriend, really threw me for a loop a good while there. It's crazy realizing now that I might have been doing something right but for the wrong person.

    • Love Conqueror
      Love Conqueror  Жыл бұрын +4

      And then the guys drop it and are happy to spend time with your boyfriend.
      You don't understand male to male relationships as well as you think.

  • Wigglytuff
    Wigglytuff  Жыл бұрын +42

    I just wanted to say thank you for your incredibly positive, mature, thoughtful presence on KZclip. I just discovered you guys and honestly feel like I just went through a particularly fulfilling therapy session. Thank you for all the knowledge and support you give everyone!

  • Guylaine Laroche
    Guylaine Laroche 2 жыл бұрын +5815

    He even is the first disney guy to "ask" if it was ok to kiss her. He is a great exemple to show how we all should act went starting relationship. First kiss should be asks for...not forced or by surprised.

    • CMM
      CMM 3 ай бұрын

      @Aevum Asking for consent also makes a person feel obligated, you know. I've been asked by people who SHOULD have known from my body language I didn't want it and not made me uncomfortable by asking so I had to refuse and look like the bad guy! Consent can be non-verbal as well as verbal. If the girl (or guy) is not into you, you have no business even ASKING for a kiss, and if they ARE into you, you won't need to ask because it's mutual. It's not about 'saving two seconds' it's about respect and romance.
      It's so disturbing how people misinterpret consent as respect these days. Saying yes is frequently just avoidance of conflict; body language is MUCH clearer.

    • CMM
      CMM 3 ай бұрын

      @helr - Quite agree.

    • Truth Seeker
      Truth Seeker 5 ай бұрын +1

      Look, it depends on how the kiss goes. If you just leap forward and force your lips onto to someone and especially of you aggressively grab their face and do it, that is a HUGE no-no. But if you surprise kiss someone and do it gently, that is still debatably wrong because you didn't check first but at least that is way less scary. But that's what brings me to BODY LANGUAGE. EVERYONE needs to learn how to read body language. Because sometimes there really is a moment where no one has to say a word and the kiss is okay for both people. There are moments when someone is giving you all the silent physical signs, giving off all the "I like you" signs that make it painfully obvious that a kiss is MORE than okay. And in moments like that you would be incredibly STUPID not to go in for a kiss. Our first kiss was just like that. Our first date was a nice lunch followed by a romantic walk around a lake. It was cold and I didn't have a jacket or sweater and my dress wasn't exactly something to keep me warm. So he gave me his jacket to wear and we stood in the gazebo just looking around at the lake and all the pretty pink flower-covered trees. Not only was I wearing his jacket but we stood their snuggling and holding each other because he was trying to keep me warm. He's really tall so my face was smushed up against his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. And he was holding my hand against his chest while his other arm was wrapped tightly around me. I looked up at him right into his eyes and his pupils were dilated, we just stared at each other and I was silently begging him to kiss me but he's shy. He can never make the first move with anything and I could see he was just trying to work up the nerve so I just went for it. I raised myself on my toes and gently kissed him. He quickly returned it and it turned into a magical true love's kiss as he held me tighter. So see it all just depends.

    • koallawangja
      koallawangja 9 ай бұрын

      I am the gay and the house is coming down, mother! Agreed, in my current relationship, we did not ask beforehand if it was ok to kiss the other, it just kinda happened (both of us went for it and both of us went into a laughing fit afterwards lol), we’ve been best friends for a number of years now and only recently started dating and I can tell you for full certainty, I would not have gone for it if I felt he was uncomfortable or not ready to kiss and that I wouldn’t have gone for it if we’d met recently.

    • XIX
      XIX 9 ай бұрын

      probably cause his the only one who tried kissing the princess first lol everytime the princess just kiss the dude

  • Jadzebra
    Jadzebra 2 ай бұрын +3

    7:45 this entire idea is why I realized my relationship was abusive, because even though I did admit to my wrongs and tried my best (from my perspective) to talk it out when it came to something that we could both agree I had done wrong, he was SO focused on making me feel terrible for the things that he thought I had done wrong, that it would escalate to the point where he was screaming at me. I was defending myself as well as I could, but with him telling me that I need to be quiet and stop "yelling" despite the fact that I only spoke in between him yelling at me, it was like a light switch going off in my head. He couldn't admit to his wrongs or stop raising his voice, but accused me of doing the same without even accepting my apology or acknowledging when I took ownership of that. Because in his eyes, he DESERVED that apology so it didn't matter that he's gotten one, but if I expected the same then I was offending him by even insinuating he had done anything wrong. In his eyes, he HADN'T done anything, so he didn't feel the need to apologize or even acknowledge it, and on top of it he felt insulted by my desire for an apology.

  • pinky75910
    pinky75910 2 жыл бұрын +58

    Gotta be honest, I have to give it to Flynn (Eugene) Ryder from Tangled - specifically the surprisingly excellent series imho. It's a shame you likely don't have the time to review such a thing, maybe someone can pick out scenes or episodes, but Flynn respected and supported Rapunzel's complicated emotional state - giving her space when she needed it, and a hug when she needed that.
    I have my issues with Frozen 2, and felt Kristoff was criminally underused and relegated to Ken doll accessory in this. I felt he had more agency in the first movie.

  • Kaleid Alan
    Kaleid Alan 8 ай бұрын +30

    This is perfect. It makes the audience know that men's feelings are existent. It shows the times where you need to step back and not just "do what you think is right," without EMPATHETICALLY understanding first. Love the movie, love the analysis.

  • SreyaIJ
    SreyaIJ 2 жыл бұрын +37

    Dang, how do I hire Jonathan for my parents? The whole “shelving your agenda” discussion made SO much sense for a lot of their problems! Well, at least it gave me some language to think about it for my own therapy needs.

  • Tara P
    Tara P 2 жыл бұрын +2993

    Kristoff's "I'm not comfortable with that" is even perfect in its own right. He's not saying "No" he's not saying "That's not a good idea". He's saying, "I don't feel right about this." The funny me says he doesn't want Sven going into danger without him. The serious part says, "I'm not comfortable with you facing this alone". So when Ana voices the same thing, essentially, he's able to step forward and say "I'll Drive" without wholly overriding Elsa's wishes; rather he's supporting Ana's proposal.

    • go away please
      go away please 18 күн бұрын

      Anna spent this entire movie treating him like TRASH

    • Mona Bohamad2
      Mona Bohamad2 4 ай бұрын

      @Maria Guerra 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    • Jewels
      Jewels 5 ай бұрын

      ​@Claire Willey I also statement.

    • Kirti Sawant
      Kirti Sawant  Жыл бұрын


    • Allan Masanegra
      Allan Masanegra  Жыл бұрын +1

      Meanwhile olaf.. I'LL BRING THE SNACKS!

  • Good Golly Miss Molly
    Good Golly Miss Molly 5 ай бұрын +9

    That discussion on the line “my love is not fragile”, really hit home for me. In my last relationship I struggled with making the same little mistake over and over, despite the fact that I did genuinely try to work on myself; and I felt awful for it. Of course I’d apologize to my partner, but they would say “it’s okay, I’m used to it.” And every time they said that, it dug the knife a little deeper and just took the wind out of my sails. It felt like there was no point in trying, because no matter how I tried it wasn’t good enough. Why try when it’s just going to hurt them when I don’t succeed. Why try when they’re used to it.
    My partner then was an amazing person, but they had their own flaws. That “catchphrase” of theirs was one of them.

  • Casey Jones
    Casey Jones  Жыл бұрын +9

    My wife and I talk through all of our arguments that way, each taking points to home and hearing each other. Healthiest damn relationship of our lives.

  • Debby D.
    Debby D. 2 жыл бұрын +37

    The best thing is just watching you guys' healthy friendship!! So healing!
    Society needs more of this!!!!

  • John Martin
    John Martin  Жыл бұрын +10

    I’ve always believed that when it comes to these movies that Kristoff is really the voice of reason. Especially in the first film where he is often the one who actually thinks like a rational person. He doesn’t just impulsively rush into things like Anna or Olaf, and even though he doesn’t automatically trust others he still has the emotional maturity to help others when they need it and not just isolate himself like Elsa does. Frankly I only wish they used him more in Frozen 2

  • Max Meat
    Max Meat 2 жыл бұрын +25

    Okay real shit. As someone who’s previous relationship was very very abusive, but am now in a healthy loving relationship, I appreciate this so so much. In my last relationship everything was always my fault. The only worry in his mind was how he felt, never how I felt. That led me to a deep dark depression. In my current relationship, he checks every day “are you ok?” He always checks if anything is wrong in my life that was too quite to bring up, and he never talks about himself when I’m upset, only how I’m feeling. He can tell by my face and my voice when somethings wrong and always asks “is there anything I can do to help?”. Parents... please please please teach your children to be respectful of their partners and to be emotionally competent, please.

  • magpie
    magpie 2 жыл бұрын +11134

    I mean, he was raised by the "relationship experts"

    • whatusernameis
      whatusernameis  Жыл бұрын

      @ArtLover Animation I fully agree grandpa troll absolutely terrified elsa and even his advice wasn't good

    • Thatonedog
      Thatonedog  Жыл бұрын

      @ArtLover Animation all he said was "fear will be your enemy" and her parents decided to take that and make her fear her powers.

    • princessparrots
      princessparrots  Жыл бұрын +1

      @7snowdog yes, the love experts😂

    • Makani Webb
      Makani Webb  Жыл бұрын

      @Izzy135 I mean, I could have sworn I did.

    • Izzy135
      Izzy135  Жыл бұрын

      @Makani Webb I'm assuming you didn't even watch the whole video, cause she literally apologizes to him afterwards at 10:28.

  • Lialouisecourt
    Lialouisecourt 4 ай бұрын +7

    I just love how the message in the first frozen is supposed to be “don’t fall in love with the first guy you meet” and then Anna falls in love with the SECOND guy she ever meets 👌🏽 A1 writing Disney

  • Tash
    Tash  Жыл бұрын +24

    I remember ranting to all my friends about specifically these scenes for a week after we watched the movie together, the fact that kristoff had all these pressing concerns and his own plans but shoved them to the side because he perceived Anna's needs to be more urgent was just so nice to see and I wasn't expecting it. "My love is not fragile" almost made me cry if I'm being honest, he really is the ideal

  • Cassandra Wallin
    Cassandra Wallin 2 жыл бұрын +34

    Thank you for the free "couples therapy." Through this video I picked up on a few self flaws that I need to work on.

  • Anik 86
    Anik 86  Жыл бұрын +5

    In my opinion the best Disney couple is Eugene and Rapunzel from Tangled since the movie. I love how their relationship was so perfect developed in the Series. They are supportive, loving, forgiving, patient, open and romantic. They're a relationship goal and honestly they are a brilliant healthy relationship model for kids. I really respect Eugene how he changed because he finally found someone who saw goodness in him. He's also an amazing demonstration of Shelving Your Agenda. What's more, Eugene had proposed to Rapunzel many times before she said yes (it lasted about 3 years and his quote from the ending of the movie makes sence, "after years and years asking and asking...") and instead of being angry at her or upset he was patient and supportive. He understood her that she wanted to find herself and got to know the world after these years in the tower before the marriage. It''s shows that sometimes time is needed and it isn't the end of the world if someone isn't ready to say yes yet. They were honest and open each other and that's important.
    I think they both didn't know what the real love is before. He was actually a lonely orphan who was lost in the world and did bad things because nobody showed him a bit goodness and that was easier. He even became Flynn Rider (character from his favourite book from childhood) and create his fake reputation to hide insecurities, his real name and character. And she was gashlighting, manipulated and Gothel abused her to make her anxious all the time. So, they changed, she became more self confident and he became real good Eugene and they learnt what love means together and that's beautiful.
    Tangled the Series (also like Tangled the movie) isn't a simple show for kids, it deals with different difficult topic and if you're adult you can find more psychological threads.

  • Nicolas
    Nicolas 2 жыл бұрын +85

    Kristoff has really got a good character development, but I feel like Anna lost all of hers, the powerful woman became extremely jealous and insecure with herself. Maybe it was only to build Kristoff, but I was mad that Anna was made this way after the first film

    • Mona Bohamad2
      Mona Bohamad2 4 ай бұрын

      @Beauty From Ashes you're clearly 100% biased pal lmao

    • Rob
      Rob 11 ай бұрын +16

      @Beauty From Ashes No she wasn't lol. Did people like you with this opinion even watch the movie? It wasn't really a good time to sit down and talk about marriage. She wasn't brushing him off for no reason, her sister was on a dangerous journey and needed her help.

    • Beauty From Ashes
      Beauty From Ashes  Жыл бұрын +8

      @C C. It’s not fucked or biased. Anna has a very codependent relationship with Elsa, sometimes to the detriment of her other relationships. She herself admits she was neglectful and not being a very good partner to him. Not because she wasn’t spending every second with him, but because she really wasn’t thinking about him *at all* He and their relationship were an afterthought for her the entire movie. She wasn’t sharing her life with Kristoff. That would have meant considering him or including him which Anna did not do. I understand its a trauma response from all those years of isolation as a child, but i also understand trauma does not excuse abusive or neglectful behavior either. It doesn’t make it okay to perpetuate her trauma of abandonment onto Kristoff by abandoning him. Which is exactly what she did. And this is a pattern for them. If you watch the shorts and both movies, Anna always puts Elsa ahead and above everyone else. Kristoff often spends most of these stories alone with Sven, or Sven and Olaf. So had this been his breaking point I couldn’t and wouldn’t have blamed him for feeling that way.

  • winterinbloom
    winterinbloom 2 жыл бұрын +1164

    My jaw literally dropped when I heard Kristoff say "I'm here. What do you need?" That was the first time I've heard such a thing in a movie. Generally any other time a woman is rushing to accomplish something extremely important and time sensitive her significant other is only there to delay her or suggest she is losing her marbles due to stress, reguardless or whether or not that stress is great or relatively minor.

    • rangers94ism
      rangers94ism 4 ай бұрын

      What movie(s) are you referring to?

    • Mona Bohamad2
      Mona Bohamad2 4 ай бұрын

      @winterinbloom I was gonna ask pretty much basically the exact same question but you've clearly beaten me to it OH SHOOT

    • winterinbloom
      winterinbloom  Жыл бұрын +1

      @Maria do Carmo Sobreira What is a lie?

    • Maria do Carmo Sobreira
      Maria do Carmo Sobreira  Жыл бұрын

      That's literally a lie.

    • S_Mai
      S_Mai 2 жыл бұрын +25

      same!!! I was just so pleasantly surprised because it feels like something like that said by a man coming to their partner's aid is always coupled along the lines of "what happened?1?! i need explanation so that i know im helping for the right thing" insteas of trusting their partner in their very time of need.

  • JinxedRonny
    JinxedRonny  Жыл бұрын +4

    The timing of Jonathan saying "you need to be careful your perceptions don't become your reality" at 05:19 literally exactly when we see Kristoff's perspective of Sven actually talking/singing sure was hilarious

  • Tree Frog101
    Tree Frog101 2 жыл бұрын +5

    I am a lady who is into ladies but when I saw in the theater Kristoff asking Anna "I'm here. What do you need?", I swooned and started questioning my attractions. 🙌

  • Space Bro
    Space Bro 2 жыл бұрын +14

    Wow this video made me realize what went wrong between my mom and I. She often found difficulty shelving her agenda when I came to her with my personal issues. This resulted in my growing up feeling guilty for problems out of my hand and not coming to her with my issues anymore. It's not that she never thinks of anybody but herself because she does care, but she never was able to just console and not go in fix-mode or tell me all her worries without wanting to discuss mine (as a way to tell me she understands I assume). The way she reacted to me or her lack of reaction made me feel like such a burden and like she didn't care, and even feeling that way made me feel guilty because I knew at the same time she did care. It's just she can't express herself clearly.

  • Kim Larsen
    Kim Larsen 9 ай бұрын +4

    Also they were talking over it and maybe they go back over it (only 5 mins in) but as a daycare worker and just someone who is around children often, a song saying “You feel those feelings, and those feelings are real” I’ve seen so many parents and others downplay the feelings of children and just everyone and it’s amazing. I literally gasped

  • Caroline
    Caroline 2 жыл бұрын +59

    “Im here, what do you need?” OMG I LITERALLY GASPED I was like, whoa. Finally a decent Disney “prince”

  • ExhaustedSprout
    ExhaustedSprout 2 жыл бұрын +2081

    My favorite thing about the "I'll drive" moment is that not only does he support the other characters needs but, since we previously heard him say that he's not comfortable with Elsa taking the wagon alone, he also does this whilst respecting his own boundaries

    • LocoHuero A.G.
      LocoHuero A.G. 9 ай бұрын +24

      Agreed, he did answer both situations very respectfully.

    • avocados
      avocados 9 ай бұрын +16


  • Tatiana
    Tatiana 6 ай бұрын +2

    My favorite Kristoff line from Frozen II is “My love is not fragile”
    Just wow… I’m raising my children on these movies!

  • Claire Willey
    Claire Willey  Жыл бұрын +4

    I had chills when Kristoff said, "I'm here. What do you need?" As a woman with many good men in my life I didn't really realize how rare it was to see this represented in movies until I've seen it, and then only recently. I don't remember the rest of the movie but the first time that comes to mind was the moment when the titular character of mad max handed the gun to Charles theron's character because he knew she was a better shot. Violent movie but the moment was striking for it's rarity. I hope this is a growing trend...

  • Emily Goodman
    Emily Goodman 2 жыл бұрын +63

    “My love is not fragile”
    My jaw literally dropped

  • Sophia Romero
    Sophia Romero 6 ай бұрын +3

    currently binge watching your videos!! Such a cool concept for a youtube channel guys! I hope you continue doing this since it gives a lot a different perspective to relationships in movies :) it helps us to become better people and partners

  • Peeble Kitty
    Peeble Kitty 2 жыл бұрын +17

    Can you do a video on How To Train Your Dragon? Hiccup's arc of finding satisfaction in himself, his skills, and his relationship with Toothless (who is shown to be an equal) when all the people around him were condescending and had little faith in his abilities, could make for an interesting exploration of ostracization, alienation, respect & understanding, and self-actualization.
    His relationship with Toothless is also worth talking about, the way they slowly build a friendship on the basis of curiosity, trust and much-needed understanding and respect; as well as its bittersweet ending in the 3rd movie.

  • Jenny Sweeney
    Jenny Sweeney 2 жыл бұрын +6963

    "what do you need?" "My love is not fragile". Swoon! Kristoff might just be my fave Disney love interest ever!

    • LifeUntilLove
      LifeUntilLove 2 жыл бұрын

      @Morgan Rakes I find the distinction between "One day from 18 and 18" to be pretty meaningless outside of a legal context. Like yes, she is 17 when they meet, but he doesn't really flirt with her or do romantic action until her birthday, when she is 18. He tries to use his charm to get out of the initial situation, but he isn't trying to woo/romance her. His end goal is entirely focused on getting the crown and getting out.

    • KittybotANI
      KittybotANI 2 жыл бұрын

      @Morgan Qorishchi I was in that sort of relationship for a very long time, and like Anna I couldn't see it. But my best friend was there, supporting me wholeheartedly the entire time. He loved me but didn't want to interfere in what I wanted, what I thought would make me happy. He supported me through every heartbreak and allowed me to work through things myself without letting his feelings get in the way. He was my rock through eight years of hell. We've been married a little over a year now and I never in my life thought a relationship could be this good. He's so good to me it makes me feel like I'm not a good enough partner, so I'm always trying to think of ways to be better. But with a man like him it's like, rooted in a desire for self improvement and to make him happy because I love seeing him smile, rather than the insecurity and walking on eggshells that spurred any of my behavior in the previous relationship. I...may have gone off the rails a little there, but yeah. My man's a Kristoff. Right down to "I'm here. What do you need?" He always knows when I'm lost or melting down or something's not right, and he listens. He doesn't try to fight my battles for me, he stands beside me and lends me his strength if I need it, or cheers me on if I don't. He's warm and kind and feels like home. He IS home. I truly hope he understands how much I love him.

    • Morgan Rakes
      Morgan Rakes 2 жыл бұрын +1

      @RedRoseSeptember22 You’re point? These films are made for modern audiences and depicting a relationship between someone who’s underage and one who isn’t shouldn’t be encouraged to sell in our current media unless the point is to express how it’s wrong. This is a film about a girl with magic hair that heals wounds, working against how times were isn’t uncommon for period films made to entertain a current audience. To say it was okay that Flynn flirted with a girl underage because of the times only makes him appear like a shitty person because these are films depicting morality in today’s standards.
      Be in mind I don’t exactly damn Flynn for flirting with Rapunzel cause high chance he just saw what appeared to be a physically mature and attractive young woman and assumed they were close enough to age so flirting with her was likely safe bet. But at the same time it’s interesting how folks don’t bring it up given how cancel culture works.
      Tbh my only critique regarding age in their relationship definitely stems more from the fact that Rapunzel legit has no general knowledge of how the world works and high chance men included, whereas Flynn probably wasn’t even a virgin when he met her. He already has a higher advantage and life privilege over her and is more mentally mature in comparison.
      Again I can look past it but sometimes I’m baffled folks don’t often mention it.
      I guess because their relationship developed so well it’s looked past on but the internet isn’t often that forgiving so often it seems folks just carry favoritism towards the film.
      Flynn and Rapunzel works more in story vs reality is more my get go. Kristoff is the guy you should have whereas Flynn is likely who you want simply cause he’s more a fixable type which is unfortunately what women often go for which isn’t as realistic as media makes it out to be.
      Again to emphasize I love the film, but that’s why I watch it thoroughly as a fantasy thing with still well developed characters, but I don’t wish to see it as too real.

    • RedRoseSeptember22
      RedRoseSeptember22 2 жыл бұрын

      @Morgan Rakes You do realize that was a different time era don't you? Older guys often married teenage girls. It was normal back then.

    • Morgan Rakes
      Morgan Rakes 2 жыл бұрын +3

      @Kishinuma Ayumi I mean yeah understandably he helps out cause she’s willing to pay but hell the guy finally paid off his sled and lost it in a matter of seconds and STILL helps her. Chad energy right there.
      Not exactly comparable moments tho between Kristoff or Eugene as it would make sense that the attraction and interest they have for the girls come later to create chemistry.
      Albeit I do think Eugene and Rapunzel’s development was better done than Anna and Kristoff’s. Theirs wasn’t bad tho but it helps that Anna’s situation with Elsa was more center focus so her relationship with Kristoff, while good and healthy, wasn’t as much a main focus.

  • rpNerd
    rpNerd 11 ай бұрын +4

    I am genuinely so happy to know I wasn't the only one cheering when Kristoff shows up and just says, "I'm here. What do you need?" Like holy shit that scene absolutely hits me so hard and I love it so much, and the resolution afterwards when he says his love is not fragile is so good. Genuinely, this movie came into my life at a time where I was Kristoff feeling lost in the woods. The writing of his character for this film helped me see my own worth where I was, and helped show me how to keep showing up, and that my love is also not fragile. Eventually, I unshelved the agenda and positive change happened. I still sometimes struggle with those feelings, but having an understanding that the foundation is strong enough that we can work through things and mindfully shelve and explore different agendas is aces. Have confidence in the strength of your love.

  • daisy
    daisy 7 ай бұрын +1

    you’re reaction to this christoffs main qualities makes me think you’d love the relationship between Daisy Johnson and Daniel Sousa from the last season of Agents of Shield, (you really only need to watch like five episodes to understand because their relationship was developed over a short amount of episodes)

  • The Glow of Letters
    The Glow of Letters  Жыл бұрын +2

    I've always liked Kristoff's personality and how he puts Anna in the first place in his life. This is an amazing video. I'm happy I came across this gem. Thank you so much guys. 👏🏼👏🏼

  • Victoria Kimball
    Victoria Kimball 4 ай бұрын +1

    Thank you for putting in words why this movie (especially the "I'm here. What do you need?" bit) feels so dang good to me!

  • Robert Giorlando
    Robert Giorlando 2 жыл бұрын +2

    Is there a future episode you can guys can use the 1st Frozen to do? I feel like there’s a lot of ground covered in that, not just the romantic love, but also sibling love and the feeling of isolation and the human psyche etc... I’d absolutely love to see an episode of this

  • Dr. Maika Steinborn
    Dr. Maika Steinborn 2 жыл бұрын +6025

    Great analysis! When I watched the movie, my favorite part was also when Kristoff says "I'm here, what do you need."

    • Goldie H
      Goldie H  Жыл бұрын +1

      Me too!

    • Dr. Maika Steinborn
      Dr. Maika Steinborn 2 жыл бұрын

      @S R sounds like a keeper :-)

    • S R
      S R 2 жыл бұрын +1

      @Dr. Maika Steinborn definitely!! I showed him the video and his reaction was priceless

    • Harvs TheNerve19
      Harvs TheNerve19 2 жыл бұрын +2

      @Charles Bobbaganoosh *SMH*

    • Charles Bobbaganoosh
      Charles Bobbaganoosh 2 жыл бұрын

      @SingenStatt Atmen There’s not a single selfless act that Anna does for Kristoff. She showed more attraction towards Hans in the first movie than she does towards Kristoff in the second. She does not deserve him.

  • Lostinscenes
    Lostinscenes  Жыл бұрын +2

    Can you please do an analysis of Olaf's development from both movies? He's an example of healthy growth and self awareness, especially when he can identify he is changing (and can tell there's rising anger in him). I'd love to hear your thoughts.

  • Heather Lee
    Heather Lee  Жыл бұрын +6

    I love how much great advice these guys give us for free!

  • Danielle Gerber
    Danielle Gerber Ай бұрын

    I'm so glad I learned the term "shelving your agenda" today! Thanks guys ☺️

  • marsh 🌻
    marsh 🌻  Жыл бұрын +4

    i first watched this video at the beginning of this year, back when i first found your channel and spent maybe three days binging everything. frozen II is my favorite disney princess movie, so i was just excited to consume any sort of meaningful content about it, but i did not expect it to be life-changing. and i mean that in every literal, sincere sense of the word. when you were discussing "shelving your agenda", it truly felt like a lightbulb clicked on in my head that hasn't turned off since. i'm 25 but i've been in therapy since i was 16, and /nothing/ has impacted me more than johnathan's explanation of this concept. i remember actually pausing the video to think about where others haven't done that for me and ended up contemplating instances in my life where i didn't do it for the people i care about. one very specific friendship came to mind and this little "shelving your agenda" spark made me realise where i had royally messed up, which then led to me diving into /why/ i behaved like that, where it came from, what triggers me, i mean i upended my entire notion of myself within maybe thirty minutes ?? and began a brand new journey toward healing i didn't even know was possible. i still have a long way to go, but when i think about the person that i was just a year ago...i don't even recognise her. and i wholeheartedly attribute that to this video. this may be a case of TMI, but i wanted to share this because while the vast majority of you guys' videos are just fun and entertaining, you really are making real, lasting impacts on people's lives here. what you are doing is so important. from the bottom of my heart: thank you. i don't know who or where i would be right now if my youtube algorithm didn't recommend cinema therapy videos to me, haha. please take to heart how necessary and beautiful your youtube channel is.

  • Kaylyn Kalupar
    Kaylyn Kalupar  Жыл бұрын +1

    Wow this was insightful.
    It’s so great that Disney is starting to portray better lead male protagonists. But do you know what movie I think you guys need to cover because it gets overlooked for this way too often? Lilo and Stitch. David is by far one of the best portrayals of what it means to be a genuinely great guy.
    Seriously, when he tells Nani that he likes her, she comes back with “I’m basically a new mom trying to get my life together. I can’t date now”
    And David is just so cool about it. Yeah he is disappointed for a minute there, but he respects that choice 100% and then does everything he can to support her in the ways she has identified that she needs. And has ASKED for.

  • Miss Priss
    Miss Priss 2 жыл бұрын +1711

    "I'm here; what do you need?" Can you imagine if everybody had that attitude toward their significant others? It would revolutionize relationships.

    • JenamDrag0n
      JenamDrag0n  Жыл бұрын

      @Malemeta Oh, I doubt that divorce rates would drop to zero percent since people do divorce for reasons not at all related to them being bad at relationships.

    • wild flowers
      wild flowers 2 жыл бұрын

      i have been trying to be that person now i need other person to DO that to me😕

    • Commentateur-Connaisseur-Chercheur-Gameur-GeeCœur
      Commentateur-Connaisseur-Chercheur-Gameur-GeeCœur 2 жыл бұрын

      But what if your partner is manipulative and selfish person in disguise ?

    • Malemeta
      Malemeta 2 жыл бұрын +2


    • John
      John 2 жыл бұрын +1

      @Morgan Miller It was aimed at those who are. You can address a message to someone who's identity is not known and who may view it at a later date.

  • Georgia
    Georgia 2 жыл бұрын +5

    "My love is not fragile" That line STILL gets me!

  • missm0ka
    missm0ka 5 ай бұрын

    I almost feel like I should share this with my partner. I knew kind of what the issue that kept coming up was but after hearing what they had to say it makes more sense.
    Any time we've had an argument or when another friend took it upon themself to stick up for me bc they saw it as not ok, it was bc he wasn't putting his agenda aside. I'm realizing I do it almost instinctively where I set everything aside to focus on what is needed here and now bc that's how I've always dealt with problem-solving.
    That was the one thing that I've noticed not healthy in our relationship, but I know we've both been growing ourselves together. Besides that I still think it's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.

  • Suraya Iffah
    Suraya Iffah  Жыл бұрын +24

    "you feel what you feel, and your feelings are real" -Sven the therapist

  • Mikorin
    Mikorin Ай бұрын

    most fights I have had with people close to me had the exact opposite effect, people would bend backwards to explain that my feelings were not valid, and if I admitted even 1% of what they said was true they would try to shovel even more stuff onto my side to prove I was wrong in the situation instead of taking ownership of their own stuff.. 😅I wish I had known more people like Jono and Alan

  • chill the Meerkat
    chill the Meerkat  Жыл бұрын +5

    Thank you very much for this video. A friend of mine once commented on The Lord of the Rings and how she loved Sam. I understood why, but now you gave it a name. Yes, he actually did the same... all the time.

  • EbonySilvrwhite74
    EbonySilvrwhite74 2 жыл бұрын +3749

    This reminds me of something I saw on reddit that my boyfriend and I are trying to implement. It's where one of you is upset or going through something and the other will ask, "Do you need help fixing it or do you just need me to listen."

    • Cate Brooks
      Cate Brooks 2 жыл бұрын

      Always liked that one!

    • SilverGallowglass
      SilverGallowglass 2 жыл бұрын

      @Demonyck’s Creations Generally what I do in that case is I say, "that's okay (affirming that no knowing is okay), tell me when you know and we'll do that" (lets them know that that they aren't on a time limit on choosing and can take their time figuring out how they feel) and then I leave silence to give them a second. If they want to redirect their attention to something else we do that and if they wanna talk about something related to that, but not it we do that.

    • SilverGallowglass
      SilverGallowglass 2 жыл бұрын

      My friends and I call that do you need sympathy or solutions.

    • mckenna whitney
      mckenna whitney 2 жыл бұрын

      my boyfriend and I are working on this right now to. Its difficult at first

    • Morning Song
      Morning Song 2 жыл бұрын

      @Rebekah Shipp I’ve tried that approach with my husband. He refuses to listen. Instead, he gets defensive and things get worse.

  • Brianna Gravely
    Brianna Gravely  Жыл бұрын +2

    I'm really glad you said "it'll come off the shelf later" because it feels like I have to shelve my feelings all the time for my parents (and never take them off the shelf) but they never have to shelve theirs. And lately I've been so assertive with my feelings that I forget HOW to shelve my feelings temporarily. I'm afraid of accountability with my parents because they'll often take the approach of "what did you do" or "don't take it so personally."

  • Happy Traveller
    Happy Traveller 11 ай бұрын

    I'm new to this Cinema Therapy party and you guys are freaking awesome with your analyses. I will have to say, though, that listening to this episode on relationships has been interesting and I recognize how exhausting a true commitment can be when done 'right'. It's also made me very glad I have a dog...not sure I have the fortitude to step out of singlehood.

  • Paulina Garay
    Paulina Garay 9 ай бұрын

    The outake song Get this Right from the original frozen 2 soundtrack i think makes up for a whole thing to analyze for Kristoffs character, its a kinda swlf depricating song about how he isn't perfect but he loves Anna still, and that he wants to be better for her and wants to marry her. Amazing work put in this movie honestly.

  • Katie Foote
    Katie Foote 11 ай бұрын +1

    Kristoff is a perfect example of trying something, realizing now's not the time or it's not going to work, and learning from that. And I think that's a lot more powerful than just being perfect. He's a person doing the best they can, trying to learn and adjust, and that's more realistic. I think it's an important lesson to learn from, and one people should think about more. At least try. If you mess it up, try to make it better. He does both quite well.

  • Teija Hansen
    Teija Hansen  Жыл бұрын

    I really needed to show this video to my mom before we had this big argument where I was having a meltdown and she was just waiting to comfort me until I asked to see what SHE needed 🙃

  • Morgan Qorishchi
    Morgan Qorishchi 2 жыл бұрын +1629

    "My love is not fragile" is the best line ever uttered by a Disney love interest. It's really interesting because if you read the tie-in book A Frozen Heart, Hans is great at imitating what people need, and he understands from Anna's behavior and background that she needs a good listener and someone who cares, but it's just a means to an end. It's a way to get closer to the crown, and he finds it obnoxious to continue to feign interest in what she likes and exhausting to try to balance acting in a way that appeals to her and to the other royal delegates present. Kristoff finds it frustrating, but it's genuine and his reasons for trying to be supportive are based in real love rather than in getting to the crown, it's something he keeps going at, and he remains 100% there for Anna throughout the whole movie. Meanwhile Hans, who was just trying to be whatever it took to get her to marry him, immediately bails on her when she needs him and it would serve his goal better to just leave her to die.
    The really clever thing is that the tie-in books uses the same line, repeatedly, for Hans and Kristoff's internal monologues: "Anna needs me." But when Hans thinks it, he thinks of it as a weakness on her part and a thing he can exploit. When Kristoff thinks it, he immediately goes to 'so how do I help her?' Same thought, wildly different intentions.

    • allergic to humans not animals
      allergic to humans not animals 2 жыл бұрын +1

      So basically they're both being used and Anna can't do anything herself. Good to know.

    • Sophieee
      Sophieee 2 жыл бұрын +17

      @Jordan Fleming I keep seeing this word pop up without fully knowing what it meant , thx for classifying. ALSO sometimes people give so much love that they have none left for themselves so when people ask something unreasonable they will say yes, without expecting anything in return and being majorly inconvenienced. Saying yes is awesome but saying no is much more important. Saying no is not being selfish, it's just looking after yourself.

    • Ms Girly
      Ms Girly 2 жыл бұрын +18

      @Jordan Fleming the last two part of your comment *chef kiss*

    • Suane Santos
      Suane Santos 2 жыл бұрын +8

      THAT'S IT

    • Jordan Fleming
      Jordan Fleming 2 жыл бұрын +85

      This is my understanding of the term ‘Simp’, don’t take my word as gospel, though.
      1) Simp in its original context:
      The term was based around obsession, loneliness, and para-social interactions.
      Its used to describe love-starved men growing attached to female streamers, or at least their digital personas.
      It was about men constructing this delusion that, if they donate enough money, then they may somehow form a romantic relationship with this woman that doesn’t even know of their existence.
      2) Simps second definition:
      The first mutation of ‘Simp’ was used to describe spineless men that let people walk all over them, typically women; and especially women they had feelings for.
      3) How Simp is currently used:
      Its used on men that show any kindness to women - heck, not even kindness, just positive interaction with women as a whole.
      Simp has become such a buzzword at this point - its lost all meaning and importance.

  • waunke56
    waunke56  Жыл бұрын +33

    I really want to recommend "princess mononoke." A lot of what this movie was and is about was mirrored from that story and From my experience I found the relationships well written and well done.

  • Claire Irene Cameron
    Claire Irene Cameron 2 ай бұрын +1

    I never expected to find it in a children's movie, but "my love is not fragile", to me, is the most romantic line from any movie I've seen. I'm not a romantic person, but that line flawed me.

  • Tom Dienstbier
    Tom Dienstbier  Жыл бұрын

    It's incredible how these videos really feel like therapy. You just said one sentence and this incredible weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
    "Most people on planet Earth don't possess a lot of healthy relationship skills"
    You're right, it's not my fault and it's not their fault this relationship didn't work, we just didn't have the necessary skills. But like with every other skill, you make mistakes in the beginning so you can learn from them. I'm willing to learn from my mistakes and move on, try this with someone new, and be a better person because of this experience.

  • helixcheerleader
    helixcheerleader 2 жыл бұрын

    I laughed at the whole "As a therapist Frozen 2 is very meaty" because HOO boy. On that note, I would love, love if you guys made another episode or two about some of the other issues in F2, like codependency between Anna and Elsa (which is very interesting from a filmmaking perspective also because that codependency was a problem that the filmmakers and writers had a hard time figuring out how to solve without reinforcing it, and the film went through multiple transformations, ending changes etc. including up to a few months before release). I went to see the film with my friend who is now a licensed psychologist and was doing her last internship to finish up her PhD when it came out - we had a lot to talk about!

  • Megan Stephan
    Megan Stephan 2 жыл бұрын +2

    Can you do a video about anxiety? I remember in the first Frozen film, Elsa is anxious all the time. Every time she gets scared, she loses control over her powers.

  • Galaxy Traveler
    Galaxy Traveler 2 жыл бұрын

    My boy Naveen too !!! The character development? BEAUTIFUL. How he and Tiana showed and taught each other what they were missing in life is one of the best, if not the best, portrayal of a loving, healthy relationship from Disney. And when Naveen put Tiana’s dream before everything else, including his own happiness, it wasn’t him “simping.” He just wanted the person he loved to be happy, so he shelved what he wanted and needed. Then, when he turned his back on his own shelved agenda, possibly being a little TOO self-sacrificing, Tiana came and took it down for him. They were both willing to leave behind the lives they led before to be with the other person -- AS FROGS!!! They each put the same amount of effort and care into the relationship. Name a better duo. I’ll wait 😴

  • Melanie Mason
    Melanie Mason 2 жыл бұрын +5301

    I hate how even in today's society people shame men for showing the slightest amount of genuine care and respect for women and choose to call them a simp. Being called a simp isn't really a compliment, but it shouldn't be a negative thing. It's honestly a term that shouldn't exist because then people start to mistake what it means to be genuinely kind and caring as a man. It's like how any man who shows any characteristic of femininity is considered to be less of a "man". Feminity should not be viewed as a negative thing. It is just as powerful and important as masculinity.

    • JT Owensby III
      JT Owensby III 7 ай бұрын

      @Holly Saintmelus according to Americans yes, it's pretty gross behavior in America

    • Melanie Mason
      Melanie Mason  Жыл бұрын +1

      @Rob Alexander I totally agree with you on that. However, today I do think people throw around the word 'simp' way too often, especially in wrong terms when a guy is just simply being kind. It's caused it to lose its meaning to the point where some guys can't be nice to women without being made fun of or made to feel lesser.

    • Rob Alexander
      Rob Alexander  Жыл бұрын

      Just to add my two cents: A good man should be genuinely caring, supportive and respectful. But a "simp" is someone who gives all that and receives none in return. If Anna was abusive towards Kristoff and he acted the way he does then he would be a simp, but this isn't the case, his love and respect towards Anna is reciprocated and it's a beautiful, idyllic relationship.

  • YogawithDanny
    YogawithDanny 9 ай бұрын

    The way Jonathan talks about diffusing arguments and how to make your partner feel heard, but also being able to come back to have an opportunity to share your side is so beautiful. I've been wanting to seek couples counseling and I can only hope that they are nearly as good as he appears to be. Calm, soothing, problem-solving oriented, and allowing for both parties to be heard. ❤️

  • ReiBear_47
    ReiBear_47 2 жыл бұрын +1

    I feel like I've seen the exact opposite in so many films, I wish you guys get the chance to do a segment opposite of this where romantic interest A swoops in to save B and then they bring up something like "now that I have you here, why don't we talk about this thing I'm mad at you about?" Subject B will say "Is now really the time?" And then they are FORCED to address their agenda under terrible circumstances and movies present this as some fulfilling plot like "See! They totally are talking about their problems, isn't that healthy!" But it isn't.

  • Vitalia_KH1512
    Vitalia_KH1512 7 ай бұрын

    What a great episode. I knew Kristof was my favorite Disney love interest for a reason 🥺

  • koallawangja
    koallawangja 9 ай бұрын

    This has actually helped me a lot cause when I feel things going south I am definitely flight when it comes to fights, I don’t like fighting with people I care about and it’s even worse when it’s someone I’m romantically interested in so yeah this has definitely helped

  • ILou
    ILou  Жыл бұрын +1

    I have an addiction to this channel now. Probably an issue for therapy. Thanks guys :)
    (But honestly, this channel has made me recognise for the first time ever the benefit of finding a good therapist. I'm determined to find someone I'm actually comfortable with. I see that there are good therapists out there! And good movies.)

  • Kat Le
    Kat Le 2 жыл бұрын +2609

    The idea of shelving your agenda is a great tool and I will implement it in my own relationships. Healthy communication and emotional support for the win!

    • Adri-bee1
      Adri-bee1 2 жыл бұрын +6

      @Viirin Softworks I learned this concept from 'nonviolent communication'. their theory is 1. the one with the less urgent needs (less upset, angry, worried) is the one who shelves their agenda. This can swap during the conversation.
      2. If you built enough trust by repeatedly and consistently shelving your agenda when needed, the other person will kind of 'copy' your behavior. They trust you know that you act in a caring way in the relationship so naturally they also will give back. Maybe it takes a long time before they feel sufficiently heard and seen so they have the capacity to listen to your feelings and needs.
      It's a bit like building humus in your garden which may take some time and patience but afterwards all the plants grow so well and healthy!

    • Lukas Bryant
      Lukas Bryant 2 жыл бұрын +5

      A, "looking not only to your interests, but also to the interests of others", if you will.

    • Viirin Softworks
      Viirin Softworks 2 жыл бұрын +12

      But it only works if everyone involved does it. If it's only one person doing it for someone else, that's must making you subservient and a tool for others to use. Everyone has to do it. Surprised the therapist didn't point this out.

    • Nora Eld
      Nora Eld 2 жыл бұрын +6

      @AdeTaku same

    • AdeTaku
      AdeTaku 2 жыл бұрын +18

      @Cinema Therapy It really is! I'm so thankful to have found this channel

  • Jairyn Bullinger
    Jairyn Bullinger  Жыл бұрын

    You have no idea how much this video helped me going into a relationship. The amount of times I have used this exact tactic when in a fight/argument and it went away and we both felt satisfied is insane and I’m so happy I found this channel for that and many other reasons

  • pakamausi
    pakamausi 3 ай бұрын +1

    I've been single for ages, so I don't know about having a SO shelve his agenda for my comfort/needs, but recently a good friend asked me point blank "what do you need right now?" after I confided in her about a tough emotional experience I'd recently had, and I really appreciated that. She wasn't sure if I wanted comfort, or advice, or just to vent and be heard, and frankly just being asked helped me calm down a bit.
    Side note: is there a reason Alan and Jono switched places in this episode? 😱

  • Vixentales
    Vixentales 2 жыл бұрын

    I love this series so much. New viewer, great job both of you. Learning so much about relationships, and how Hollywood portrayals affect the public perception of love. Shelving your agenda...I’m gonna have to use that and teach my kids and husband.

  • Witchy Poo
    Witchy Poo 11 ай бұрын

    With my boyfriend & I we almost always unshelve each other’s needs. Not always, but very often because we are just like that as people. I really love that we balance each other so well. This video made my appreciate my relationship even more

  • Thayna Gonçalves
    Thayna Gonçalves 2 жыл бұрын

    Let me just say that I know nothing about therapy but my reactions towards Kristoff was absolutely the same. As a woman I was not programmed to expect that kinda reaction of a man and to see it in a Disney movie of all places felt like historical reparation hahaha that movie is so deep, I mean that line where Olaf goes "I call this controling what you can when everything seems out of control" it's just 🤯🥺 I literally felt like I had just left a therapist's office.

  • Jeavan Amara's Candor Channel
    Jeavan Amara's Candor Channel 2 жыл бұрын +3594

    It's sad that some people would dismiss Kristoff as a beta, cuck, or "soy boy" just cuz he's supportive

    • Truth Seeker
      Truth Seeker 4 ай бұрын +1

      @Shy Violet no. But it's the fact that this is a pattern for her. Something is always more important to her than her relationship with Kristoff and that's not how it should be. You should be able to put your true love first every once in a while. If you have a lot in your life that has to take priority that's fine. But you should always make an effort to be present for your true love and let them be the main focus for once. But if you just can't do that then you should let them go. No self respecting person wants to be in a relationship where they are ALWAYS playing second fiddle to someone else or something else.

    • Truth Seeker
      Truth Seeker 5 ай бұрын

      @Charles Bobbaganoosh don't listen to any of the dumba*ses underneath you. You're right. You're absolutely right. Anna is not in a position to be anyone's wife because she puts everything else ahead of her relationship.

    • Dave Murray
      Dave Murray 7 ай бұрын

      @WI How did you find out? I want your sources.

    • WI
      WI 7 ай бұрын

      @Dave Murray I'm assuming you're a professional woman

  • clararawr
    clararawr  Жыл бұрын

    I haven't seen the movie but all these things are the things I could never properly explain to people about why I love my SO. Its not just me setting things aside to help him. We are both there for eachother

  • Arabella Mileham
    Arabella Mileham  Жыл бұрын +1

    I love that Kristoff is the first Disney male hero my 4 year old daughter has watched (even though its actually Olaf she wants to marry atm, cos she says he has a kind heart and makes her laugh :D)

  • dweeb
    dweeb 4 ай бұрын +1

    He's perfect without having to be "perfect" he has flaws but his actions show that he'll treat you the way you not only want, but deserve to be treated.